My New Job

Well the bills got to deep to wade through and the money spread to thin to see, so I broke down and took a new part-time job to try to balance things out. I now spend 15 to 20 hours a week on my feet moving constantly. I get money and an exercise program in one.

So I am now not only the sexiest, bald-headed probation officer in Tennessee, I am the sexiest bald-headed, part-time janitor in Tennessee.

I work for a company that contracts out to another company that builds custom dohickey thingees that other companies need real bad. Simple, isn't it. Hear is a basic rundown of my job.

After I finish my main job, I drive across town and through a security check point manned by a retired dude armed with a walkie talkie and a cardboard cup of coffee. I am not sure what would happen if I didn't stop, but I'm sure it would involve cleaning up coffee somewhere. Anywho I have to park and walk up a side walk and into a side door. I have a white plastic card I wave in front of a box with a red light on it. (The light is on the box, not my card.) The light turns green and the door makes a sound like an electronic orgasm and I can go in. I sign a sheet of paper saying I came in a whatever time, the I go into the janitor closet and punch a timeclock. Then the games begin.

First a get my cart and look it over to see what my coworker's have taken off my cart as opposed to taking it off the shelf. I don't have any idea why they do this, as they could take it off the shelf just as easy as off my cart, but it happens. I replace these items, then take the dirty safety glasses off the cart. I left clean ones the night before, but it is easier for them to take mine and leave their dirty ones than to clean them. I take some cleaner and papertowels off my cart and clean the glasses. I put on the glasses and roll the cart out the room and then go back into the room because I forgot my keyring. I always forget my key ring. I also pickup my door wedge and pocket it. Now I close the closet and head across the plant. My first job is to clean two bathrooms. They are in the very back of the largest section of the plant. This involves about a 5 mile walk. If there is anything I need than isn't on my cart, it is a 10 mile round trip hike to get it, so I try to keep the cart stocked. I know that I always need 6 large trash bags. I usually use 3 rolls of paper towels, except on Mondays and Fridays when I need more. I also usually need 4 rolls of toilet paper. This is all stuff I replace. I also use about half a bottle of disinfectant and a third bottle of glass cleaner and about a quarter roll of paper towels. This I actually apply. I also keep 2 containers of pink hand cleaner, 1 container of white hand cleaner with grit, 1 container of lotion, a small selection of feminine supplies, toilet cakes, urinal cakes, small waxed brown trash bags for the stalls in the ladies room. I also have a push broom, regular broom, dust mop, toilet brush, non-acid toilet bowl cleaner, bleach, hydrachloric acid toilet bowl cleaner, a few partial rolls of paper towels, a rocket launcher, a small thermo-nuclear device, a dustpan, and a small scrub brush.

As I traverse the length of the building, I have to dodge forklifts being driven at breakneck speed by total morons. When I reach the end of the building, I turn left and go another half mile or so. There is a 5 foot wide section of floor in front of the two restrooms that is a different color than the rest. It is actually clean and mopped every night. I stop my cart next to the clean strip, take off my push broom and sweep it. I use the dustpan and broom to deposit the trash swept up into the little trash bag on the front of my cart. I then roll the cart onto the strip. I use the disinfectant cleaner on both doors, the water fountain, both trash can tops and the hand sanitizer dispensor. I change the bags in both trash cans, then wedge the men's room door open. I take the broom and pull any trash out into the aisleway. I then take the push broom and sweep it all to the back. Then I replace my brooms and roll the cart into the bathroom. Now I start to really work. I check the lotion dispenser. I've yet to replace this in the men's room, but the woman's room it usually is replaced about once every two weeks.

I divide the men's room into 4 sections. The first contains a large "sink", a stainless tub with a foot petal to turn on the water and a fountain that gives 180 water coverage. It has one pink hand cleaner dispensor the men call supervisor soap, and a pumice containing green soap in a white container that they call goop and all use. It has 3 paper towel dispensors, a lotion dispensor, two trash cans and two mirrors. The order may change a little, but this is the routine. I glove up. I keep 5 pairs of rubber gloves on the cart, size large. I then check the pink soap dispensors, usually having to refill this once weekly. I then check the White dispensor, thumping it as you can't see through it. Usually changed everyother day. It is messy stuff. The pink stuff comes in a little bag that looks like it should be hanging on an IV rack. This stuff comes in a plastic tube. You take off the top and upend it on the pump. I replace what needs it, then clean the drips from the white dispensor off the sink with papertowels. I then check the towel dispensors, usually trying to keep to full rolls. The partial rolls are what I use to clean with, although I usually add the smallest rolls as a second roll in the dispensor, and leave the largest sitting on top a dispenser as an "emergency" roll. The rest go on the cart. I then clean the mirrors, sink and stainless still splash guard with glass cleaner. Our glass cleaner has a neat minty smell. I use the disinfectant on the trash can tops, soap dispensors, and paper towel dispensors wiping everything down. I then replace the trash bags.

The next section contains two urinals that hold a small amount of water in the bottoms. I look to make sure the cakes haven't completely dissolved, then wipe the urinal down with disinfectant. I then spay the stainless splashguards on each side of each stall with glass cleaner and wipe them down. On Fridays I remove the urinal cakes and clean the insides with non-acid toilet bowl cleaner and replace the cleaner. If there are piss stains down the front, I use the chlorine on them. The next section contains three stalls with toilets. I check to make sure each paper dispensor has at least 1 full and 1 half roll. If it drops below a half-roll I replace it. I wipe each toilet seat and top down with disinfectant spray and check the cake. I replace it if it is below half size of a new one. This takes longer than it sounds. If the inside of the toilet is dirty I use either the non-acid or scale removing acid toilet bowl cleaner to clean it. I clean every one on Fridays.

Then back half of the bathroom is an older section. The first section contains another older "sink", a pink soap dispensor, a papertowl dispenser, two urinals in stalls, and a trash can. I usually check the towel dispensor first and wipe it and the top of the trash can down with disinfectant. I change out the trash bag. Next I check and clean the pink soap dispensor. Then I disinfect and clean the urinals. These don't hold water in the bottom. I then have 6 more stalls with toilets that I have to follow the above routine for. I finish by sweeping up the trash and putting it in my bag. Men are pigs. There is usually a two foot tall pile of papertowels, toilet paper, newspaper and god-knows-what to sweep up. Most of the toilets have sensors to automatically flush when they get up. They hang toilet paper over these and walk off leaving there mess in the toilets. I have to sometimes manually flush these things four of five times and sometimes even plunge them, Nasty!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have even found the cakes laying in the middle of the floor. What the f..........?

Next I move to the ladies room. It is simpler and often seems rarely used. I knock on the door, open it, and call out loudly. I then wedge the door open. I don't bring my cart in. I divide this into two sections. Section one has a garbage can, a pink soap dispensor, a lotion dispensor, two paper towel dispensors, a feminine product dispensor two regular sinks, and two mirrors. The second section has 6 stalls with toilets. I check the towel dispensors first. I usually only have to restock 1 once per week. Next I check the feminine supplies. Then I check the lotion and soap, maybe replace these once ever 14 days. I then clean the mirror with glass cleaner and use disinfectant on the sinks, trash can tops, and dispensors. I change the trash bags. I sweep all the trash out to the aisle, but there is rarely much, not like the mens. Since this floor is tile rather than concrete, I use the dustmop instead of pushbroom to sweep the aisle. Then I do the toilets, which is the same as the men's room except that there is not where near the mess and there are these little boxes in the stalls which I have to check. The boxes contain these little brown waxed bags where women can deposit eeerrr, trash. If there is anything deposited, I exchange the bag for a fresh one. Then I close up the restroom and gather my filled trash bags and carry them out. I have to walk about 2 miles to the dumpster outside. I also have to be careful or I get locked out and have to circle the building to get back in.

Once I return, I complete my journey with another forklift endangered 5 mile hike. I restock my cart so my coworkers can rob it, and continue to the last 2/3's of my job. I leave the closet and go back to the plant. I make a left and then another left. I enter a door and follow a hallway maknig a right when I have no other choice. I come out in a room about the size of an indoor arena football field. It also looks like an arena football field providing the field is covered with grey commercial low-pile indoor/outdoor carpet and black felt rubber backed mats. Also providing the field has cubicals with 5 foot tall partions and is ringed by offices. I follow one perimeter path straight ahead and open a closet on the right. I remove a 100 foot extension cord, a Orek Commercial XL vacuum and proceed to VACUUM THE FOOTBALL FIELD. I also have to vacuum three hallways, all the perimeter offices, two alcoves and a smaller building. I have a question. In the high traffic areas, they have laid down black mats which have a heavy rubber backing, but the pile is black and felt like. It shows everything and is very hard to vacuum. Why black? Why not dirt brown or medium green or something? Why black? I have a smaller there is a small conference room to vacuum. The next building has four hallways, two alcoves, five offices and a stairway landing to vacuum as well as a conference room downstairs. Then there is a small landing with a black mat. Upstairs is a small room with cubicles and two black mats, and three more offices. It takes about an hour to do the bathrooms on an average day. Add 30 minutes to that on a bad day. The main room and peripreals take about 90 minutes unless it is bad then add 14-20 minutes. The little building takes from 20 to 40 minutes depending. It's not that bad. I am beginning to adjust to it. I just miss playing on the internet and watching some nighttime TV.