Today I narrowly missed encountering a fake penis. It was taken off a parolee during a drug test. He was taken to jail. In this state, attempting to tamper with a drug screen while on parole or probation is a misdemeanor and can result in a jail sentence of up to 11 months 29 days. Not to mention being a violation of parole or probation which can result in even more or the above mentioned lock-up time. This is about the 4 th fake penis this year. I haven't found one yet, but I did find one gentleman with a condom full of urine stuffed down his pants. All that glamour and they still pay me, can you believe it?
The thing that was different about this fake penis was that it was home made. Yes, instead of spending his hard-earned money on a fake penis off the internet, this guy used what appeared to be pvc pipe, ice maker tubing, a turkey baster, gauze and the tip off of a sex toy. I hope it wasn't his wife or girl friend's only toy. With him locked up and her best alternative butchered, she might have to resort to finding one somewhere else.
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