Happy Holidays, I want a sandwich

Okay, I hate this time of year. Christmas always stresses me and this year is just as bad as last year. Money is tight and my wife thinks she has to buy everyone in her huge family a gift. I have a mother, father, sister, brother-in-law, and 2 nieces. That's 6 people. Seven when you add my wife. She has a mother, father, 4 sisters, 2 brothers, 2 brother-in-laws, 3 nephews, 7 nieces, and me. That's 20 people. Now I realize that this isn't the Christmas spirit, but 4 of my six people will give us gifts. Based on the past, we might get gifts from her parents and her brothers. None of the sisters will get us a thing, they never do. Yet she thinks we have to buy them all something. She is only working 1 day a week, so my overstretched salary has to overstretch again. The only thing that got us through last year, was that my dad gave us money and we used it to buy gifts.

By the way, when did being fat constitute being disabled. You know those little motorized carts, some stores keep for disabled people to drive around in? I was in redneck heaven (Super Walmart) the other day and two unbelievable large people tried to run me down on those. It was a morbidly obese man and woman. Each of them was riding one of the carts, as I doubt that a single cart would have held them both. I am overweight, and not a small person anyway, but either of them was twice my size. Now there may have been something other than fat wrong with them, but there was no indication of such. My personal opinion is that if you are so fat you can't walk through the store to get your food, then maybe Someone is trying to tell you something.

Okay, I went nuts and decided to start something I probably can't finish. It's called the Master Cleansing Fast, or lemonade diet. I have felt like shit for quite a while and I am not having much luck losing weight, so I thought I would kickstart off my new weight loss program with a 10 day fast. Actually, I read up on this and it sounded reasonable, although I don't know if I can make it 10 days without food. Everyone claims that you don't get hungry, but I really like my food. Anyway as of now I have been on it for 5 hours and 2 minutes, my stomach is growling and my head feels weird. First time it has been without caffine in years I imagine. The idea is to detoxify the body, lose a little weight and gain a lot of energy. I will keep anyone reading this posted as to my progress or regress.