Happy Hellidays

Well, Thanksgiving passed by relatively uneventfully. I cooked a good meal, nobody showed up, but the in-laws did stop in for some supper left-overs. Then Christmas came. We didn't have a lot of money, so we bought for the kids, our parents, and a few little gifts for friends. My in-laws came in the Sunday before Christmas and haven't left yet. The rumor is they might leave this Saturday, but I have no hope left. I was told they were staying with a business partner and that we might have the youngest child, my wife's 15 year-old sister, for 3 days. Instead I have all three of them in our tiny little house. My wife and I have to hide in the parking lot of the local Wal-Mart to have a private conversation. My mother-in-law keeps insisting on doing the cooking, laundry, ext. Only it's my food she's cooking and my stuff she keeps rearranging to suit her. I can't find anything in my kitchen and when I go look for something for breakfast, I find they ate it for freaking lunch. I bought enough food to do my wife and I for 3 weeks and give me enough food for lunch so I wouldn't have to eat out any. It's almost gone. They finally took a hint and bought enough meat for about 4 meals, some drinks, and some potatoes, but they are still eating my canned foods up. They even got into my peanut butter.

My father-in-law is either channel surfing on the TV or hogging my wife's computer. My mother-in-law finally cleaned everything to her standards, rearranged all my pots, pans and dishes to her liking and has taken to releveling the front yard by hand. She also insists on feeding the goats and chickens even though I've already done it, which is wasting the food I don't have the money to replace. They have their RV plugged into the house and are running the heater and lights, so I am sure next months electric and water bills are going the double. My only relief so far has been work and locking myself into our bedroom and watching TV in there. Unfortunately, it recently turned very cold, so on the days the sister-in-law isn't at her slut friends house, she is camping in the bedroom listening to the radio and talking on her cell phone. Since it is permanently glued to her ear, the battery is always low, so she has to plug it in to charge while talking. This means she unplugs something in the bedroom so she can lay on the bed and gossip and listen to music. She mainly unplugs by wife's reading lamp, but I usually go to bed first and I leave that light on so my wife doesn't trip over a cat or something coming to bed. So everynight she has been there this week I have had to crawl under the dresser and replug the hard-to-get-to lamp cord in. Now the sister-in-law is a lazy, disrespectful, ungrateful waste of a carbon-based life form, mainly because the parents let her do as she wants because it is easier on them. She is a little afraid of my wife and I, but confident that her parents will protect her, so she has been fairly snotty unless she wants something. My wife has thus far kept me from taking a machete to her, or shooting the other too, but I think she has finally reach her limit at having our lives disrupted.

You see, we had had the father-in-law with us for a week before the holidays. He was transporting horses from Kentucky to Tennessee in preparation for going to Florida. He had gotten word there was a quarantine coming to the track and was trying to get his horses out before they were restricted, he got all but three, unfortunately it earned him a 6 month suspension by the racing commission. He also had a falling out with his business partner last week, so I think that is one reason he isn't in a hurry to leave. Unfortunately they are way to comfortable in our house and I am about ready to go from zero to homicidal maniac in a half a second.