Well, I actually watched a few new movies recently. First in a long time. Two of them surprised me, one left me a little underwhelmed. There are a few coming out that I find myself looking forward to though.
The Losers was surprisingly entertaining. It probably won't hit too many award lists, but for a light summer action movie it was good. Ditto the A-team. I really thought is would suck, a movie based on a rather silly 80's TV show by all rights should suck. It didn't though, it was a quick paced action movie with a considerable amount of humor mixed in. The premise behind the two movies is similar but they are done differently. Make a pretty good summer drive-in double feature though. Kick Ass was a movie I was looking forward to. It wasn't a bad movie, it just seemed less than I expected. I guess the trailers and internet hype gave too big a build up to it.
Anyway, the cartoon, Despicable Me looks interesting, and I just saw a trailer for a movie due in October called Red. Another comic book movie, but like the Losers, no superheroes. It stars Bruce Willis, Morgan Freeman, Helen Mirren, Marie Louise Parker, John Malkovich in batshit crazy mode, Karl Urban, and Brian Cox. It's about a retired CIA agent who suddenly finds himself on the agency hit list, so he puts together his old team to raise some hell. Also, the new Robert Rodriguez Predator movie is looking kind of like the first one rather than the lesser sequels.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Dumb Crook News, Local Edition
Two stories, one of which was promised last week.
The promised story first.
There was a lady, who was more of less homeless and was moving between family and friends staying one place for a short while then moving to another. One day she left one place with plans to visit a friend, then was supposed to go to another family member to stay with them for awhile. She left the friends place in a vehicle with another friend and never arrived at the family member's place. After a couple of days without hearing from her and calling up friends and family she was reported missing. A few days later her body was found lying beside a road 50 miles away in another county. Beside the body, cause of death unknown or at least not released to the media, was a pair of dentures. A name was engraved in the dentures. What? You don't have a name engraved in your dentures? Perhaps you did not have yours made, at no cost to yourself, while a resident at the Tennessee Department of Corrections Bed and Breakfast. With this subtle clue law enforcement felt a conversation with the owner of said dentures was a good idea. They first ran a check and found Mr. Denture not only had been a proud consumer of Tennessee's fine correction facilities, but was currently the subject of warrants as yet not served. Armed with these documents, members of the Sheriff's department and the TBI, visited the last known residence. The subject of interest declined to cooperate and expressed this by attempting to run over a TBI agent while attempting to escape. For reasons currently unknown, the agent in question to offense and shot our subject through the shoulder. Said subject is being served soft food while awaiting trial on not only his outstanding charges but also attempted evading arrest and attempted murder. The investigation into the death of the woman is still ongoing.
Police very recently responded to reports of a shirtless man trying to open the door to a dentist office. Upon arriving a man was noticed trying to flee the scene. When apprehended he was wearing one shoe and no shirt. The police found no buildings in the area broken into, but an ambulance had been. Since the missing shoe was lying in the ambulance along with the man's wallet, the man had marks from the heart monitor equipment on his chest, and medical gear was piled behind the ambulance police decided he had been in the ambulance. They also found a shopping cart near the ambulance which contained 3 case of Natural Ice beer. The suspect when apprehended was reported unsteady on his feet with red, watery eyes, slurred speech and smelled strongly of "alcoholic beverage". He admitted to entering the ambulance and placing the heart monitor pads on himself.
The promised story first.
There was a lady, who was more of less homeless and was moving between family and friends staying one place for a short while then moving to another. One day she left one place with plans to visit a friend, then was supposed to go to another family member to stay with them for awhile. She left the friends place in a vehicle with another friend and never arrived at the family member's place. After a couple of days without hearing from her and calling up friends and family she was reported missing. A few days later her body was found lying beside a road 50 miles away in another county. Beside the body, cause of death unknown or at least not released to the media, was a pair of dentures. A name was engraved in the dentures. What? You don't have a name engraved in your dentures? Perhaps you did not have yours made, at no cost to yourself, while a resident at the Tennessee Department of Corrections Bed and Breakfast. With this subtle clue law enforcement felt a conversation with the owner of said dentures was a good idea. They first ran a check and found Mr. Denture not only had been a proud consumer of Tennessee's fine correction facilities, but was currently the subject of warrants as yet not served. Armed with these documents, members of the Sheriff's department and the TBI, visited the last known residence. The subject of interest declined to cooperate and expressed this by attempting to run over a TBI agent while attempting to escape. For reasons currently unknown, the agent in question to offense and shot our subject through the shoulder. Said subject is being served soft food while awaiting trial on not only his outstanding charges but also attempted evading arrest and attempted murder. The investigation into the death of the woman is still ongoing.
Police very recently responded to reports of a shirtless man trying to open the door to a dentist office. Upon arriving a man was noticed trying to flee the scene. When apprehended he was wearing one shoe and no shirt. The police found no buildings in the area broken into, but an ambulance had been. Since the missing shoe was lying in the ambulance along with the man's wallet, the man had marks from the heart monitor equipment on his chest, and medical gear was piled behind the ambulance police decided he had been in the ambulance. They also found a shopping cart near the ambulance which contained 3 case of Natural Ice beer. The suspect when apprehended was reported unsteady on his feet with red, watery eyes, slurred speech and smelled strongly of "alcoholic beverage". He admitted to entering the ambulance and placing the heart monitor pads on himself.
Saturday, June 19, 2010
More Things I Just Don't Understand
When I bought groceries this week, I bought a bag of shredded "Mexican" blend cheese. I arrived home and started putting away my purchases and I took a good look at the cheese. It contains Cheddar Cheese (British), Monterey Jack (US), Asedero (Mexican) and Queso Quesadilla (Mexican). Wouldn't you think a Mexican blend would have all Mexican cheeses? There were at least 5 more cheeses they could have chosen from, although some are cheeses that soften but don't melt. I have a friend who gets upset because she thinks those of us who live in the US believe Taco Bell serves Mexican food. I told her that surely no one over 14 believes that, but she could be right. If you go to any non-Mexican, non-fast food eatery and order a "Mexican" dish, quesadillo, burrito, taco, ect. It will be covered in cheddar cheese. She keeps telling me Mexican's don't have yellow cheese. She isn't 100% accurate, Chihuahua can have a pale yellow color and supposedly tastes similar to a mild cheddar. She also says taco shells are not supposed to be hard. She says the taco is like a sandwich. They either wrap or roll the filling in a tortilla or sandwich it between two tortillas. I am not sure, but I believe the hard "U" shaped tortilla called a taco shell originated in the state of New Mexico in the 1940's.
Anyway, I have recently been annoyed by a commercial for a website called Been Verified dot Com. I finally checked it out. I guess, other than being a medium quality commercial, what annoys me is that while this commercial promises one thing it sort of makes people think they are getting something else. Basically they prey on a common misconception. There are 3 terms people kind of use interchangeably. This commercial is for a website that offers a background check on people, but they way the commercial is worded it seems like you would be getting a criminal background check. I have had, in my job to do criminal background checks as well as criminal history checks. They are similar, but not exactly the same. A background check is a completely different animal.
A background check is basically a list of where people have lived and went to school. It may include whether they graduated, what jobs they had, marital status, land ownership, business ownership, ect. Most of which should be public record. A criminal background check would have all of this plus arrest records (not public information), conviction records (public record but not always easy to get), outstanding warrants. A criminal history would only be interested in the arrest, conviction and warrants part of this. A very thorough background check done for a security clearance, bonding purposes, ect, would probably include a credit check.
This commercial seems to be promising to give you the info to keep your family safe. I visited the site. I read the disclaimer and info at the bottom of the page and in really small print. This site basically charges you $16 monthly or $96 yearly to run unlimited searches of public information. You aren't getting any confidential or criminal information you couldn't easily get anyway. This site is a convenience site. If you Google everyone you meet, this might save you some time and money, but really if you are worried about going into business with someone, taking a large job where you might take a risk on getting paid, or hiring someone to do a big money job, hire a company that can do an actual criminal background check. In Tennessee, for $25 the TBI will run a criminal history for you. That and a check with the better business bureau and good, old-fashion asking around are probably more accurate.
The mentioned website basically simplifies searching through the major search sites, the social networks, the various sex offender data bases, and the free people finder sites. They also let you run special searches like the social networks, reverse address and phone look ups, ect. All of this you can do for free. Unless you look up a lot of people pretty often, it seems like a rip off.
Coming Soon....local dumb crook story.
Anyway, I have recently been annoyed by a commercial for a website called Been Verified dot Com. I finally checked it out. I guess, other than being a medium quality commercial, what annoys me is that while this commercial promises one thing it sort of makes people think they are getting something else. Basically they prey on a common misconception. There are 3 terms people kind of use interchangeably. This commercial is for a website that offers a background check on people, but they way the commercial is worded it seems like you would be getting a criminal background check. I have had, in my job to do criminal background checks as well as criminal history checks. They are similar, but not exactly the same. A background check is a completely different animal.
A background check is basically a list of where people have lived and went to school. It may include whether they graduated, what jobs they had, marital status, land ownership, business ownership, ect. Most of which should be public record. A criminal background check would have all of this plus arrest records (not public information), conviction records (public record but not always easy to get), outstanding warrants. A criminal history would only be interested in the arrest, conviction and warrants part of this. A very thorough background check done for a security clearance, bonding purposes, ect, would probably include a credit check.
This commercial seems to be promising to give you the info to keep your family safe. I visited the site. I read the disclaimer and info at the bottom of the page and in really small print. This site basically charges you $16 monthly or $96 yearly to run unlimited searches of public information. You aren't getting any confidential or criminal information you couldn't easily get anyway. This site is a convenience site. If you Google everyone you meet, this might save you some time and money, but really if you are worried about going into business with someone, taking a large job where you might take a risk on getting paid, or hiring someone to do a big money job, hire a company that can do an actual criminal background check. In Tennessee, for $25 the TBI will run a criminal history for you. That and a check with the better business bureau and good, old-fashion asking around are probably more accurate.
The mentioned website basically simplifies searching through the major search sites, the social networks, the various sex offender data bases, and the free people finder sites. They also let you run special searches like the social networks, reverse address and phone look ups, ect. All of this you can do for free. Unless you look up a lot of people pretty often, it seems like a rip off.
Coming Soon....local dumb crook story.
Monday, June 07, 2010
Things That Don't Do What They Say They Do
Well, last night was the MTV Movie Awards. I didn't watch them, content to read the results on the internet this morning. As suspected, anything the Twilight movie was nominated for it got and pretty much everything else was equally predictable. Apparently among fans of that channel Robert Messy hair is a better actor than Johnny Depp.
Sort Twilight meander. I don't hate Twilight. I finally stopped it when I realized what it is. You see Twilight isn't literature or film and doesn't pretend to be. Many of its fans seem to think it is, but they will hopefully grow out of it. The Twilight moms on the other hand need serious help. The woman can't write. Not to say she can't tell a story, apparently she can, but she isn't a good writer. The movies aren't good either, but then look at the source material. The best way to look at Twilight is to use the South Park method. Watch the episode about Promise Rings. Then substitute Twilight for Jonas Brothers and movies or books for music. The purpose of the Jonah Brothers isn't to make good music, they don't, but to make young girls tingly in their naughty spots. They don't know the difference, so they buy more Jonas Brothers crap. Although for all I know, Jonas Brothers are out and the Beiber dude is in now. Apparently weird hair is all the rage among the tween set. Well Twilight tells stories that make the target audience tingly in the right spots. They buy more to tingle more. I saw a young guy in Walmart buying one to the books. I was going to choke him out and drag him somewhere for an intervention, but he explained that having the books around made girls think he was sensitive and crap. The end result was Twilight books apparently have a effect similar to that of tequila on female clothing.
Now to what I was actually talking about before I got lost.
What the hell is it with tv networks. MTV now has only slightly more connection to music videos than NBC. Music Television now has almost no music on it, not to mention sister station VH1, Video Hits 1. Basically they seemed to have gone the stupid reality and game show route. Someone said MTV2 had music videos now. That station originally started as an alternative to Top 40/rap stuff MTV1 was mostly dealing with and the "classic" rock videos VH1 pimped. So what the hell? I haven't seen a point to MTV or VH1 in forever.
I used to like the History channel. It showed programs about history. That makes sense to me. All weekend that stupid channel showed a program called Ice Road Truckers. What does that have to do with history, please explain it to me. The Discovery Channel and The Learning Channel seemed to have converted to showing programs about people too dumb no realize there pregnant until the infant pops out and bitch slaps them or other people who keep having more and more kids so the stupid network will keep giving them a show otherwise how will they support their hugely bloated family. Could we go back to hosting shows somewhat educational. Having shows mostly entertaining like Mythbusters, the old Junkyard Wars and stuff is okay, because they are still kind of nerdy. You might learn something. If anyone out there is learning anything from "Kate plus Eight" or "Nineteen and Counting (aka Mrs. Duggars Worn Out Uterus)" I am scared to know what. I have also noticed a recent trend on shows about female police officers. Someone needs to explain why we need this. "Female Forces" and "Policewoman or Fillintheblank County" are the two that come to mind. Reality style police shows can be interesting if the cases are interesting or if they taser annoying people, but otherwise it is kind of boring after about 15 minutes. The only reasons I can come up with to promote female police officers is either to promote equality or to capitalize on male fantasies about women in authority, women in uniform, women with weapons or some other fetish. Since singling a female law enforcement officer out as somehow being different seems a poor way to promote equality, I can only assume that the present shows give excuses for people to fantasize about being handcuffed to beds while being beaten with a baton by women in bullet resistant vests and duty belts.
Sort Twilight meander. I don't hate Twilight. I finally stopped it when I realized what it is. You see Twilight isn't literature or film and doesn't pretend to be. Many of its fans seem to think it is, but they will hopefully grow out of it. The Twilight moms on the other hand need serious help. The woman can't write. Not to say she can't tell a story, apparently she can, but she isn't a good writer. The movies aren't good either, but then look at the source material. The best way to look at Twilight is to use the South Park method. Watch the episode about Promise Rings. Then substitute Twilight for Jonas Brothers and movies or books for music. The purpose of the Jonah Brothers isn't to make good music, they don't, but to make young girls tingly in their naughty spots. They don't know the difference, so they buy more Jonas Brothers crap. Although for all I know, Jonas Brothers are out and the Beiber dude is in now. Apparently weird hair is all the rage among the tween set. Well Twilight tells stories that make the target audience tingly in the right spots. They buy more to tingle more. I saw a young guy in Walmart buying one to the books. I was going to choke him out and drag him somewhere for an intervention, but he explained that having the books around made girls think he was sensitive and crap. The end result was Twilight books apparently have a effect similar to that of tequila on female clothing.
Now to what I was actually talking about before I got lost.
What the hell is it with tv networks. MTV now has only slightly more connection to music videos than NBC. Music Television now has almost no music on it, not to mention sister station VH1, Video Hits 1. Basically they seemed to have gone the stupid reality and game show route. Someone said MTV2 had music videos now. That station originally started as an alternative to Top 40/rap stuff MTV1 was mostly dealing with and the "classic" rock videos VH1 pimped. So what the hell? I haven't seen a point to MTV or VH1 in forever.
I used to like the History channel. It showed programs about history. That makes sense to me. All weekend that stupid channel showed a program called Ice Road Truckers. What does that have to do with history, please explain it to me. The Discovery Channel and The Learning Channel seemed to have converted to showing programs about people too dumb no realize there pregnant until the infant pops out and bitch slaps them or other people who keep having more and more kids so the stupid network will keep giving them a show otherwise how will they support their hugely bloated family. Could we go back to hosting shows somewhat educational. Having shows mostly entertaining like Mythbusters, the old Junkyard Wars and stuff is okay, because they are still kind of nerdy. You might learn something. If anyone out there is learning anything from "Kate plus Eight" or "Nineteen and Counting (aka Mrs. Duggars Worn Out Uterus)" I am scared to know what. I have also noticed a recent trend on shows about female police officers. Someone needs to explain why we need this. "Female Forces" and "Policewoman or Fillintheblank County" are the two that come to mind. Reality style police shows can be interesting if the cases are interesting or if they taser annoying people, but otherwise it is kind of boring after about 15 minutes. The only reasons I can come up with to promote female police officers is either to promote equality or to capitalize on male fantasies about women in authority, women in uniform, women with weapons or some other fetish. Since singling a female law enforcement officer out as somehow being different seems a poor way to promote equality, I can only assume that the present shows give excuses for people to fantasize about being handcuffed to beds while being beaten with a baton by women in bullet resistant vests and duty belts.
Wednesday, May 05, 2010
Happy Holiday
Happy Cinco de Mayo. Unfortunately I live in the wrong country to get the day off work, and my work frowns on drinking alcohol while on the clock, so I am stuck with diet soda and water at my desk.
I've decided to lobby for a new holiday. It can be celebrated anytime in early spring. You get the day off work, but to celebrate you have to clean out your fridge and throw out all the stuff that has turned funny colors, grew fur or liquefied. It will be call Stink of the Mayonnaise.
I thought it was funny, but then I am insane.
Incidentally, I finally found and started reading some books I learned up about 7 years ago. If you like fantasy, used to like fantasy but got tired of the same old crap, like comedy, like comedic fantasy, like history, or like mysteries or preferably like comedic, non-western fantasy with a touch of history and mystery you need to check out Barry Hughart. Mr. Hughart wrote 3 books in a series, he originally planned to write 7, but given that he has pretty high standards and the style of book he wrote took a fine balance and he felt it wasn't financially worth the work because the people in charge of his account at his publishers must have moved to the Fox television network in charge of promising new tv series. They did things like fail to tell him his first book won a prestigious award for fantasy fiction, released the hard and soft cover editions of one book at the same time, and publishing a book 3 months ahead of schedule so by the time the reviews (set to appear to coincide with the publishing date) appeared the books were already off the store shelves. Needless to say, from a business standpoint, who could blame him.
I have finished Mr. Hughart's first 2 books and started the third. The first two are very strong, the pacing is fast, the writing tight, the characters, even minors ones well-drawn. The humor is sometimes very subtle and other times more prominent, but never out-of-place.
The books are not the typical fantasy set in a European middle-ages. Rather it is set in a version of ancient China. Chinese history and mythology is blended with fantasy elements in a most satisfying way. You don't have to be at all familiar with Chinese history to follow the story lines. Everything you need to know is included. These aren't 800 page epics either. The books are exactly as long as they need to be. The stories have no padding, footnotes or extra content. It's odd in the day of the 10 book trilogy to run across a series that doesn't require the use of a war room complete with massive computing power and wall board to track events characters and locations.
Book one is The Bridge of Birds. A village known for its silk is suddenly struck by both the untimely death of its silk worms and the children of the village fall into an odd coma. Yu Lu, not the famous author of the "Classic of Tea" but rather a lowly but heroic and incredibly strong young peasant known as Number Ten Ox, is dispatched to the city to bring back a sage to diagnose the illness of the children. He cannot afford most of the scholars and sages, identified by a sign of an open eye over their doors. He does however find a door marked with a half-closed eye, and a drunken man with incredible credentials who identifies himself as Li Kao, who has a "slight flaw to his character."
Book two is The Story of the Stone. Our two hero's become involved in the mysterious death of a monk, apparently the victim of a mad prince who has been dead for a few centuries.
Book three is Eight Skilled Gentlemen. Thus far an execution was disrupted by a vampire ghoul, which leads to the murder of a high ranking official which apparently is being hushed by the highest officials.
Some very minor non-spoiler items I have found funny.
Upon discovering they need to find a mysterious item known as the great root of power, Li Kao predicts it will be worth 10 times its weight in diamonds and look like a dog turd.
Li Kao comments that he doesn't understand why people sometimes think he is a crude assassin, he is never crude.
The author seems to enjoy poking fun at politicians, greedy people, over pious people, bureaucrats, know-it-alls, ect. but his novels move at a pace that makes putting them down nearly impossible.
I've decided to lobby for a new holiday. It can be celebrated anytime in early spring. You get the day off work, but to celebrate you have to clean out your fridge and throw out all the stuff that has turned funny colors, grew fur or liquefied. It will be call Stink of the Mayonnaise.
I thought it was funny, but then I am insane.
Incidentally, I finally found and started reading some books I learned up about 7 years ago. If you like fantasy, used to like fantasy but got tired of the same old crap, like comedy, like comedic fantasy, like history, or like mysteries or preferably like comedic, non-western fantasy with a touch of history and mystery you need to check out Barry Hughart. Mr. Hughart wrote 3 books in a series, he originally planned to write 7, but given that he has pretty high standards and the style of book he wrote took a fine balance and he felt it wasn't financially worth the work because the people in charge of his account at his publishers must have moved to the Fox television network in charge of promising new tv series. They did things like fail to tell him his first book won a prestigious award for fantasy fiction, released the hard and soft cover editions of one book at the same time, and publishing a book 3 months ahead of schedule so by the time the reviews (set to appear to coincide with the publishing date) appeared the books were already off the store shelves. Needless to say, from a business standpoint, who could blame him.
I have finished Mr. Hughart's first 2 books and started the third. The first two are very strong, the pacing is fast, the writing tight, the characters, even minors ones well-drawn. The humor is sometimes very subtle and other times more prominent, but never out-of-place.
The books are not the typical fantasy set in a European middle-ages. Rather it is set in a version of ancient China. Chinese history and mythology is blended with fantasy elements in a most satisfying way. You don't have to be at all familiar with Chinese history to follow the story lines. Everything you need to know is included. These aren't 800 page epics either. The books are exactly as long as they need to be. The stories have no padding, footnotes or extra content. It's odd in the day of the 10 book trilogy to run across a series that doesn't require the use of a war room complete with massive computing power and wall board to track events characters and locations.
Book one is The Bridge of Birds. A village known for its silk is suddenly struck by both the untimely death of its silk worms and the children of the village fall into an odd coma. Yu Lu, not the famous author of the "Classic of Tea" but rather a lowly but heroic and incredibly strong young peasant known as Number Ten Ox, is dispatched to the city to bring back a sage to diagnose the illness of the children. He cannot afford most of the scholars and sages, identified by a sign of an open eye over their doors. He does however find a door marked with a half-closed eye, and a drunken man with incredible credentials who identifies himself as Li Kao, who has a "slight flaw to his character."
Book two is The Story of the Stone. Our two hero's become involved in the mysterious death of a monk, apparently the victim of a mad prince who has been dead for a few centuries.
Book three is Eight Skilled Gentlemen. Thus far an execution was disrupted by a vampire ghoul, which leads to the murder of a high ranking official which apparently is being hushed by the highest officials.
Some very minor non-spoiler items I have found funny.
Upon discovering they need to find a mysterious item known as the great root of power, Li Kao predicts it will be worth 10 times its weight in diamonds and look like a dog turd.
Li Kao comments that he doesn't understand why people sometimes think he is a crude assassin, he is never crude.
The author seems to enjoy poking fun at politicians, greedy people, over pious people, bureaucrats, know-it-alls, ect. but his novels move at a pace that makes putting them down nearly impossible.
Monday, April 26, 2010
Commercials and Things
Okay, another post about TV, largely because it's still new to me. Also otherwise I will just end up ranting about work which will just set me off again and make me feel bad.
I watch a lot of the various flavors of the discover channel and it's clones. I notice now we have a Discover Investigation channel and there is a also a True TV which seem to show mainly true crime type programming. There is also a Crime and Investigation network which seems to mix true crime programs with cop shows and the like. Sort of like if Discovery Investigation mated with the Sleuth Channel. The CI network apparently need some feeler which means they run short clips of their shows or rather of Nash Bridges and Crossing Jordan. I hate Crossing Jordan. That was probably the most annoying non-sitcom character ever created for television. I change the channel everytime one of those clips come on.
Anyway, since I have recently come under commercial bombardment a few things stand out. First, enough with the damn caveman Geico. You pretty much milked the funny out of them. The lizard is still cute, go with him. The vacuum tube, the dollar bill, the accent, those commercial are funny enough to remember. Progressive, your spokes woman should by all rights annoy the hell out of me, yet I find her strangely appeal and scarily attractive. I worry for my sanity, good job. The Capital One Viking commercial are hit or miss. The ski vacation one I love, I think mainly for the goat on ski's and later with the broken leg. "One adult, one goat please," it's comedy gold. Not so much the tropical vacation one though, maybe not enough goat. Billy Mayes died. Why is he still screaming at me? The best ads though are the Dos Equis ads with the most interesting man alive. Love those ads. When the Guiness is gone, I'm going to give Dos Equis a shot.
I saw what might well be the worst possible commercial for the stupidest thing ever. It was so stupid it went through stupid, beyond so-stupid-it-is-funny, and into unbelievably idiotic. It was a product for women. Basically it was underwear padded so that it would make your butt look bigger and stick up higher. First, most women I know are worried about the size of their butts, but as a general rule, they don't want to increase said size. Second, much like a padded bra, isn't this false advertising?
The basic add consisted of before and after shots, showing about 10 different women wearing mini's and shorts and tight pants. The gyrate around then, it shows them supposedly wearing the product doing the same. At least one of the women was apparently considered talented in wiggling her hips, so she was dolled up like she was in a nightclub. She would dance a bit, then they would do the after shot. The provocative little ass wiggle, when coupled with the padded panties making her ass stick out and up, looked unbelievably silly. I about fell out of my chair laughing each time they showed it, and it came on about 6 times in the commercial. Out of the 10 or so women showed, all had what I thought were nice asses, and only 1 of the lot actually, in my opinion looked better with the fake ass cheeks applied. The rest just looked like they suddenly needed a step machine. Strangely enough it reminded me of that old rap video about big butts.
Lastly, a word to advertisers. If you are advertising a product, maybe you should show the product. Make sure we know what you are selling. I read several blogs regularly and one that I keep up with recently posted a link to an ad for Reebok Easy Tones. The only online version she could find was in russian, but it only affects the end. Basically, you only saw quick glances of shoes a few times in the video. Mostly you saw asses. Lots, and lots of really nice female asses, which I am all for, but unless you saw the last 4 seconds of the 30 second spot, you probably though the add was for a fitness center or escort service or something. It's an entertaining ad, if your into young, toned, swimsuit model butts, but I don't think it does a good job displaying the product. Hmm, what if we combined the butt enhancing panties with the butt focused shoes? The ultimate ass ad?
I watch a lot of the various flavors of the discover channel and it's clones. I notice now we have a Discover Investigation channel and there is a also a True TV which seem to show mainly true crime type programming. There is also a Crime and Investigation network which seems to mix true crime programs with cop shows and the like. Sort of like if Discovery Investigation mated with the Sleuth Channel. The CI network apparently need some feeler which means they run short clips of their shows or rather of Nash Bridges and Crossing Jordan. I hate Crossing Jordan. That was probably the most annoying non-sitcom character ever created for television. I change the channel everytime one of those clips come on.
Anyway, since I have recently come under commercial bombardment a few things stand out. First, enough with the damn caveman Geico. You pretty much milked the funny out of them. The lizard is still cute, go with him. The vacuum tube, the dollar bill, the accent, those commercial are funny enough to remember. Progressive, your spokes woman should by all rights annoy the hell out of me, yet I find her strangely appeal and scarily attractive. I worry for my sanity, good job. The Capital One Viking commercial are hit or miss. The ski vacation one I love, I think mainly for the goat on ski's and later with the broken leg. "One adult, one goat please," it's comedy gold. Not so much the tropical vacation one though, maybe not enough goat. Billy Mayes died. Why is he still screaming at me? The best ads though are the Dos Equis ads with the most interesting man alive. Love those ads. When the Guiness is gone, I'm going to give Dos Equis a shot.
I saw what might well be the worst possible commercial for the stupidest thing ever. It was so stupid it went through stupid, beyond so-stupid-it-is-funny, and into unbelievably idiotic. It was a product for women. Basically it was underwear padded so that it would make your butt look bigger and stick up higher. First, most women I know are worried about the size of their butts, but as a general rule, they don't want to increase said size. Second, much like a padded bra, isn't this false advertising?
The basic add consisted of before and after shots, showing about 10 different women wearing mini's and shorts and tight pants. The gyrate around then, it shows them supposedly wearing the product doing the same. At least one of the women was apparently considered talented in wiggling her hips, so she was dolled up like she was in a nightclub. She would dance a bit, then they would do the after shot. The provocative little ass wiggle, when coupled with the padded panties making her ass stick out and up, looked unbelievably silly. I about fell out of my chair laughing each time they showed it, and it came on about 6 times in the commercial. Out of the 10 or so women showed, all had what I thought were nice asses, and only 1 of the lot actually, in my opinion looked better with the fake ass cheeks applied. The rest just looked like they suddenly needed a step machine. Strangely enough it reminded me of that old rap video about big butts.
Lastly, a word to advertisers. If you are advertising a product, maybe you should show the product. Make sure we know what you are selling. I read several blogs regularly and one that I keep up with recently posted a link to an ad for Reebok Easy Tones. The only online version she could find was in russian, but it only affects the end. Basically, you only saw quick glances of shoes a few times in the video. Mostly you saw asses. Lots, and lots of really nice female asses, which I am all for, but unless you saw the last 4 seconds of the 30 second spot, you probably though the add was for a fitness center or escort service or something. It's an entertaining ad, if your into young, toned, swimsuit model butts, but I don't think it does a good job displaying the product. Hmm, what if we combined the butt enhancing panties with the butt focused shoes? The ultimate ass ad?
Thursday, April 01, 2010
They Put it into the Wrong Hole
Well, earlier I explained how I cannot get cable television from the cable company so I ordered it from my telephone and internet provider. This turned into a hassle because my home network went nuts. Welllllllll, I fixed it with the help of a customer service rep and it only took about 2 weeks. After concentrating on my end of things, we finally looked at there end and guess what? Originally I had a speed stream dsl modem with a netgear router. I started having some issues with dropped internet and resetting the netgear fixed it, but it was happening a lot more often, and the netgear had some age on it, so I bought a linksys. The linksys didn't resolve things, it turned out to be a software issue with one program, but my wife stuck the netgear in a box and put it into a storage shed and my in-laws managed to toss it, so spare router went bye-bye. Anywho recently I upgraded to a linksys wireless n router with 4 hard ports and everything was nice/nice. Then they came in and switched my speed stream modem for a comptrend broadband adsl modem/router, 4 port and wireless g. Sounds cool, and looking up the exact model, which I don't remember and I am not home so can't look up, it's got a reputation as a good, heavy duty router. They hooked my main pc into this router along with both cable boxes and my linksys. My main pc was the only one with internet access. Well, after about 30 minutes of ip changing, resetting ect. with me on my cordless phone, the phone company sets those routers up so they have 3 video ports and only one internet port. My pc was in the internet port but my router was in a video port. All I needed to do was set my linksys to a static ip outside the comtrends range and plug the wan into the internet port of the comtrend. That's right, I didn't even lose a lan port on my linksys. I even left it a dhcp server. Then just set up wireless security and William's your mother's brother.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Life, Internet, Television
I can't get cable. The cable company stops running the line about a mile from my house. They refuse to turn the corner and come down our road. They claim not enough people live on said road that would want cable. From that corner to my house on my side of the road there are 6 houses. There are 2 more I can hit with a thrown rock past me. The other side of the road has 8 or 9 until my house. Maybe 17 isn't enough to justify the expense, but everyone of those houses have a satellite dish in the yard or on the house. I had no tv for the first year I lived there except the local pbs station and an occasional network if the wind was right. I later installed Primestar and had it for a couple of years. I then went to Dish Network until about a year ago. Financial issues caused me to ask them to turn off my service. I requested them to turn it off, they said okay and I disconnected my 2 boxes. I kept getting bills and they kept going up. I kept calling. Basically it took me 3 months to get them to turn off my service and they insisted I owed them for it. I never had the service for that time period, I didn't even have the boxes plugged in. So, until last week I had no television and watched everything streamed off the internet.
I missed a lot of stupid stuff like my history channel and military channel though, so I finally got TV back. I went to my telephone company to get it. They now offer digital cable. I got the 2 room package. Basically, they hook a faster modem up for my dsl and hook the 2 boxes into a dsl modem/router. Unfortunately this has caused problems. I had recently switched my 4 port router for a 4 port wireless "n" router. This let me keep all 4 computers hooked up and use my laptop. The router they brought was a 4 port with wireless g. They hooked my main computer and the 2 tv's in. Then they hooked my router to their router. I took some time off work to be there and I left when they did. I had some issues with my laptop, it was seeing the wireless network and connecting, but could not reach the internet.
After some research I tried several things. I reset my winsock, my tcip, ect. Then finally wiped my laptop and started reinstalling. After redoing windows and my drivers, it was still not working. Then it hit me, that I hadn't tried to use the internet, other than on my main computer since the switch. I tried, it failed. So more research. As of this date, I have an email in to their tech support. I cannot access their modem/router, they won't "for security reasons" give me a log in and password. So I cannot do anything with it. I have disconnected my wireless router completely. My laptop does not see a wireless network with my router turned off. I hooked my router to the laptop, accessed it and turned off the dhcp server. I changed its lan ip from 198.162.1.1 to 198.162.1.99. I then run a cat 5 from the last open lan port to a lan port on the linksys. Still no internet and now it won't assign an ip to my laptop. My second computer, hardwired to my router, but it also can't get onto the internet. My head hurts. I have reset the whole network so many times. Why the hell can't they put on/off switches on routers, whats with this unplug to turn off crap? Anybody got a suggestion?
I missed a lot of stupid stuff like my history channel and military channel though, so I finally got TV back. I went to my telephone company to get it. They now offer digital cable. I got the 2 room package. Basically, they hook a faster modem up for my dsl and hook the 2 boxes into a dsl modem/router. Unfortunately this has caused problems. I had recently switched my 4 port router for a 4 port wireless "n" router. This let me keep all 4 computers hooked up and use my laptop. The router they brought was a 4 port with wireless g. They hooked my main computer and the 2 tv's in. Then they hooked my router to their router. I took some time off work to be there and I left when they did. I had some issues with my laptop, it was seeing the wireless network and connecting, but could not reach the internet.
After some research I tried several things. I reset my winsock, my tcip, ect. Then finally wiped my laptop and started reinstalling. After redoing windows and my drivers, it was still not working. Then it hit me, that I hadn't tried to use the internet, other than on my main computer since the switch. I tried, it failed. So more research. As of this date, I have an email in to their tech support. I cannot access their modem/router, they won't "for security reasons" give me a log in and password. So I cannot do anything with it. I have disconnected my wireless router completely. My laptop does not see a wireless network with my router turned off. I hooked my router to the laptop, accessed it and turned off the dhcp server. I changed its lan ip from 198.162.1.1 to 198.162.1.99. I then run a cat 5 from the last open lan port to a lan port on the linksys. Still no internet and now it won't assign an ip to my laptop. My second computer, hardwired to my router, but it also can't get onto the internet. My head hurts. I have reset the whole network so many times. Why the hell can't they put on/off switches on routers, whats with this unplug to turn off crap? Anybody got a suggestion?
Stupid Stuff
Attention: the following items are crimes in the state of Tennessee, you have been warned:
1. Unlawful importing of skunks (2 things, first why would you? second, is there lawful importing?)
2. Crime against nature (don't know, don't want to even guess)
3. Glue--unlawful use of (see above)
4. Purchase of hides from unknown person without ID (how about from a known person with no ID or an unknown person with an ID?)
5. Selling children (they have market value?)
6. Teaching sex education unless approved (let them learn it from naughty magazines and television like God intended, besides that's why Al Gore invented the internet).
1. Unlawful importing of skunks (2 things, first why would you? second, is there lawful importing?)
2. Crime against nature (don't know, don't want to even guess)
3. Glue--unlawful use of (see above)
4. Purchase of hides from unknown person without ID (how about from a known person with no ID or an unknown person with an ID?)
5. Selling children (they have market value?)
6. Teaching sex education unless approved (let them learn it from naughty magazines and television like God intended, besides that's why Al Gore invented the internet).
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Rambling Thoughts
What ever happened to the metric system. Back when dinosaurs roamed the land and I was in elementary school, there was a big push for the US to convert to the metric system. What the heck happened? We like convert part way then quit. Distances are still in inches, feet, yards, miles. I still buy milk in Pints, quarts and gallons, but I buy soda in liters, unless it's a smaller container when it becomes ounces again. Most food stuff has both measurements on it. Medicine tends to be measured in metric units for injections or pill form, but back to ounces for liquids taken orally. Weights are usually measured in ounces and pounds. What happened? Why did we quit? The rest of the world uses the metric system, why are we still stuck on the old one? I was just wondering this the other night. It worries me.
I have tv again. I said I wouldn't, but I did. I still can't get traditional cable, I hate dish network almost to the mob with flaming torches level, and I have heard Direct TV is no better. Fortunately the telephone company is now offering digital cable, so I signed up for their 2 room set up. I got the expanded basic cable package with an additional family tier. No premium channels but I get the networks, basic cable plus stuff like the discovery channels, history, the various channels that used to show educational and music programming but now mostly show crappy unreality programming. I had to get the faily tier though, must have my BBC America, dicovery military, and history international channels. Yeah I'm weird, deal with it. I would rather watch Dr. Who or a documentary about the P-51 Mustang than Lost or Survivor or American Idol. Anyway, I get all this for about $20 less than the most comparable of Dish's packages. But I am a bit out of touch with TV. Those Dos Equis Most Interesting Man in the World commercials are a hoot. But there is some ad I heard about 5000 times last night about a website where you can go to get rid of viruses and spyware. Can't remember the name, but it was pretty annoying. They kept giving symptoms which meant you might have a virus. One of them was if it took more than 3 seconds to load an email. Dude? My lap top at work was made in 1937 and has .000000008 gigs of memory and a gasoline powered intel processor and vacuum tubes. It's old and crappy. It couldn't load an email in 3 seconds if you gave it a half hour head start. Not to mention what do you mean load an email? Do you mean off a web based service like hotmail or yahoo, or do you mean in an email program? If in a program, which program, Outlook, outlook express, Thunderbird. Also, what if they have dial up and the email has 2 huge jpegs and a video clip attached? I mean obviously this is aimed at computer novices, because there are a lot of sites out there where you can do free scans, why pay to download an unknown anti anything program. If you are going to pay, go to a well established company like Symantec or Mcafee. Or better yet, download malwarebytes and/or spybot and donate so you can activate the real time protections.
Yes, strange things do keep me awake at night, but at least now I can go back to falling asleep to cable tv.
I have tv again. I said I wouldn't, but I did. I still can't get traditional cable, I hate dish network almost to the mob with flaming torches level, and I have heard Direct TV is no better. Fortunately the telephone company is now offering digital cable, so I signed up for their 2 room set up. I got the expanded basic cable package with an additional family tier. No premium channels but I get the networks, basic cable plus stuff like the discovery channels, history, the various channels that used to show educational and music programming but now mostly show crappy unreality programming. I had to get the faily tier though, must have my BBC America, dicovery military, and history international channels. Yeah I'm weird, deal with it. I would rather watch Dr. Who or a documentary about the P-51 Mustang than Lost or Survivor or American Idol. Anyway, I get all this for about $20 less than the most comparable of Dish's packages. But I am a bit out of touch with TV. Those Dos Equis Most Interesting Man in the World commercials are a hoot. But there is some ad I heard about 5000 times last night about a website where you can go to get rid of viruses and spyware. Can't remember the name, but it was pretty annoying. They kept giving symptoms which meant you might have a virus. One of them was if it took more than 3 seconds to load an email. Dude? My lap top at work was made in 1937 and has .000000008 gigs of memory and a gasoline powered intel processor and vacuum tubes. It's old and crappy. It couldn't load an email in 3 seconds if you gave it a half hour head start. Not to mention what do you mean load an email? Do you mean off a web based service like hotmail or yahoo, or do you mean in an email program? If in a program, which program, Outlook, outlook express, Thunderbird. Also, what if they have dial up and the email has 2 huge jpegs and a video clip attached? I mean obviously this is aimed at computer novices, because there are a lot of sites out there where you can do free scans, why pay to download an unknown anti anything program. If you are going to pay, go to a well established company like Symantec or Mcafee. Or better yet, download malwarebytes and/or spybot and donate so you can activate the real time protections.
Yes, strange things do keep me awake at night, but at least now I can go back to falling asleep to cable tv.
Monday, March 08, 2010
Private Detectives
A couple of years ago, give or take a couple of years, I was sitting in my office trying to figure out a way to bring in some extra money. I was struck suddenly with a weird idea. I had access to resources of information most people didn't, so I could maybe get a PI license and take advantage of this. So I hopped on the information superhighway and did a bit of research. It took me maybe 30 minutes to track down and assimulation the information. It was a bit more money than I wanted to spend, (the individual license wasn't bad, but you could only use that if you were going to work for an existing agency. If you were going solo you had to get an agency license which was $250). I then checked and saw what would happen if I were caught using the information and resources available to me due to my possession outside of my official capacity and decided to work as a part-time janitor.
That was basically the background for this story. I was looking through a local free internet classified site shortly after the above story when I noticed an individual in an bordering county advertising himself pretty heavily as a private detective and begging for work. This guy updated his adds religiously because they were always in the top 5 posts for several days. I finally got curious and checked him out. The adds were written in a rather unprofessional way and seemed more than a tad immature or maybe fanciful. I could picture the guy seeing himself as Magnum PI. His adds stated he would find missing persons, tail people, look for thieves, ect. Something about these ads just annoyed the living hell out of me. I decided, for whatever reason, to investigate myself. I started by looking for a license. They guy had his contact information in his add, and since it required a state license it was easy to see if he had one. I didn't even have to use my official capacity. You can go onto the state website and click on the department of commerce and insurance link. They issue all of the professional licenses and anyone can use there database to see if someone is licenced. That's how you can make sure your dentist, doctor, insurance salesman, ect. is legit. This guy had no state P.I. license. So I sent him an email asking him if he was a licensed PI. He sent one back stating he had graduated from an online detective school and they had trained him and gave him all the tools he needed to be a detective.
I replied and said that was fine and dandy, but most, if not all states required Private Investigators to be licensed. I told him the requirements for this state, sent him links to the pertinent websites as proof and mentioned that if someone official noticed his ads or if he should accept money to perform professional services, and said person filed a complaint, he could find himself in a not pleasant situation. He sent back an email thanking me and stating he had wondered how to get his license but hadn't been able to find out.
This gentleman wants to hunt for thieves, trail cheating spouses and find missing persons for money, but can't do a damn Google search for "How to get a Private Investigator license in Tennessee"? Yeah, I'll send him all my business. I didn't see his ads on that site anymore after that.
That was basically the background for this story. I was looking through a local free internet classified site shortly after the above story when I noticed an individual in an bordering county advertising himself pretty heavily as a private detective and begging for work. This guy updated his adds religiously because they were always in the top 5 posts for several days. I finally got curious and checked him out. The adds were written in a rather unprofessional way and seemed more than a tad immature or maybe fanciful. I could picture the guy seeing himself as Magnum PI. His adds stated he would find missing persons, tail people, look for thieves, ect. Something about these ads just annoyed the living hell out of me. I decided, for whatever reason, to investigate myself. I started by looking for a license. They guy had his contact information in his add, and since it required a state license it was easy to see if he had one. I didn't even have to use my official capacity. You can go onto the state website and click on the department of commerce and insurance link. They issue all of the professional licenses and anyone can use there database to see if someone is licenced. That's how you can make sure your dentist, doctor, insurance salesman, ect. is legit. This guy had no state P.I. license. So I sent him an email asking him if he was a licensed PI. He sent one back stating he had graduated from an online detective school and they had trained him and gave him all the tools he needed to be a detective.
I replied and said that was fine and dandy, but most, if not all states required Private Investigators to be licensed. I told him the requirements for this state, sent him links to the pertinent websites as proof and mentioned that if someone official noticed his ads or if he should accept money to perform professional services, and said person filed a complaint, he could find himself in a not pleasant situation. He sent back an email thanking me and stating he had wondered how to get his license but hadn't been able to find out.
This gentleman wants to hunt for thieves, trail cheating spouses and find missing persons for money, but can't do a damn Google search for "How to get a Private Investigator license in Tennessee"? Yeah, I'll send him all my business. I didn't see his ads on that site anymore after that.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
WOOOHOOO I'm Rich
I checked my personal email this morning just like every morning and there it was, for some reason in the junk mail folder. It seems I won the British Columbian lottery. I was so happy I forgot to read how much I won. It's odd though. I don't live in British Columbia. Hell, I don't live in Canada. I do occasionally talk to a Canadian woman on MSN. Maybe that was enough. I still don't remember entering though. Does British Columbia even have a lottery? Well, it doesn't matter I won. And if that wasn't enough for one morning, some lady I never heard of much less met, is dying from cancer. She became hypertensive when her husband passed away and had a stroke, so her personal care nurse is doing her internet stuff for her. Anyway she has no family and her late husbands family are rat bastards who mistreated him, so she is having her nurse choose random profiles on the internet to give her husbands immense fortune to. So I was chosen to receive 950,000 British pounds. All I have to do is contact her lawyer at one of the 2 rather unprofessional looking email addresses provided and give him some personal information. I'm doing good with stuff with British in it, British Columbia and British pounds. Maybe it's because I caught up on my Doctor Who and Torchwood this winter.
I also have several offers to test (and KEEP) Dell laptops and if I take 10 minutes to complete a survey about Facebook I get my choice of a $200 gift including an ipod touch.
Does anyone really fall for this shit anymore? Someone must or they wouldn't keep sending the stuff out. Really people. If you read the fine print on the free offers they are never free. The surveys are long and eventually you have to complete a certain number of offers that involve either giving out your cell phone or credit card number, which will eventually cost you 3 to 4 times the value of the prize anyway. That's assuming anyone actually gets the laptop or ipod.
And as far as the other scams go, I can't believe anyone falls for them. Are there actually people out there that believe you can win something you never entered? And with all the various news stories on the internet, television and newspapers, does anyone believe dying people give there money to randomly chosen stangers or that thieves in exotic places need to use your personal bank account to hide funds while they transfer them out of one county into another. That's what Cayman Island bank accounts are for. If you get an email that sounds too good to be true, IT FREAKING IS. Do a google search using the subject line or the first line of the email. That's all it takes to find out.
I also have several offers to test (and KEEP) Dell laptops and if I take 10 minutes to complete a survey about Facebook I get my choice of a $200 gift including an ipod touch.
Does anyone really fall for this shit anymore? Someone must or they wouldn't keep sending the stuff out. Really people. If you read the fine print on the free offers they are never free. The surveys are long and eventually you have to complete a certain number of offers that involve either giving out your cell phone or credit card number, which will eventually cost you 3 to 4 times the value of the prize anyway. That's assuming anyone actually gets the laptop or ipod.
And as far as the other scams go, I can't believe anyone falls for them. Are there actually people out there that believe you can win something you never entered? And with all the various news stories on the internet, television and newspapers, does anyone believe dying people give there money to randomly chosen stangers or that thieves in exotic places need to use your personal bank account to hide funds while they transfer them out of one county into another. That's what Cayman Island bank accounts are for. If you get an email that sounds too good to be true, IT FREAKING IS. Do a google search using the subject line or the first line of the email. That's all it takes to find out.
Monday, February 22, 2010
Zombie Attack Part Two
Remember my long rambling disjointed post about my wife's laptop being repaired. Remember how I told you they wiped the damn thing and returned it to factory condition? Well, here is the follow up to the situation.
Since my wife and I no longer live together and she is planning to go to a sunnier warmer, more southern state to look for a job, she was depending on her lappy. Since I would not be easily available for repairs, once the laptop was like she wanted it, I made a backup image of the hard drive. I used Norton Ghost, because I've used it in the past and it was readily available. I ghosted it onto 3 dvds for her and set up a bootable usb stick. I also included a folder with her drivers on the usb stick, just incase she had a driver crap out on her. So when the laptop came back and I gave it to her, she went back to where she is staying and tried to reimage it. It didn't work. She called me and I tried to talk her through it. I finally gave up and told her to bring it to me. She finally did last night, and I couldn't get it to work either. I had no trouble getting it to create the image last August, but it wouldn't find the dvd drive for anything to reverse the process now. I change boot order, I loaded ghost from the USB stick and from DVD, but to no avail. Finally something jarred my memory. I had monkeyed with the boot order earlier, but I had gone no further in the bios. I went back in and sure enough, the setting on the drives was moved to sata. I put in on ide setting and everything came up roses. I reimaged her lappy back to its state in August. Ghost apparently doesn't like the ata drives, it found the hard drive, but not the dvd, even when booted to and loaded from said dvd. Does what ever process the factory service people use automatically reset the bios, or did some tech deliberately go in and reset everything I wonder. Oh well, all's well that ends that way I guess.
Since my wife and I no longer live together and she is planning to go to a sunnier warmer, more southern state to look for a job, she was depending on her lappy. Since I would not be easily available for repairs, once the laptop was like she wanted it, I made a backup image of the hard drive. I used Norton Ghost, because I've used it in the past and it was readily available. I ghosted it onto 3 dvds for her and set up a bootable usb stick. I also included a folder with her drivers on the usb stick, just incase she had a driver crap out on her. So when the laptop came back and I gave it to her, she went back to where she is staying and tried to reimage it. It didn't work. She called me and I tried to talk her through it. I finally gave up and told her to bring it to me. She finally did last night, and I couldn't get it to work either. I had no trouble getting it to create the image last August, but it wouldn't find the dvd drive for anything to reverse the process now. I change boot order, I loaded ghost from the USB stick and from DVD, but to no avail. Finally something jarred my memory. I had monkeyed with the boot order earlier, but I had gone no further in the bios. I went back in and sure enough, the setting on the drives was moved to sata. I put in on ide setting and everything came up roses. I reimaged her lappy back to its state in August. Ghost apparently doesn't like the ata drives, it found the hard drive, but not the dvd, even when booted to and loaded from said dvd. Does what ever process the factory service people use automatically reset the bios, or did some tech deliberately go in and reset everything I wonder. Oh well, all's well that ends that way I guess.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Ummm---I Know Where to Hole Up When the Zombies Attack
Last summer (glorious time of year with no wet white cold stuff) my wife acquire a laptop computer. It was an Acer, and seemed to be pretty nice. It came with the operating system from the 8th layer of hell (WinDOHs Vista). She hated Vista with the same passion Sarah Polin feels toward Family Guy and so I replaced it with XP. It was my first encounter with Vista, also the point when I found a) most laptops have SATA hard drives and, b) Widows XP doesnt' come with standard SATA drivers, making installing it a bit of an issue. Fortunately her computer bios let me reset to ide mode for the hard drive. I later discovered a Toshiba laptop that didn't offer that bios option and I had to slipstream SATA drivers into a copy of XP.
Anyway, after hunting down, downloading and installing her drivers and all her favorite programs, the laptop was running like and charm and all was well for about 2 months, then her screen started developing lines. She showed it to me and it looked like a hardware issue. The laptop was under warranty so off it went. I just got the thing back. Now Acer was actually pretty easy to deal with on it. They said the lcd was "bleeding" and it was covered at no cost. Really the only problem I had with it was they reimaged the hard drive back to factory original. Now the repair agreement warns that they may need to do this to fix the problem, but this issue was a faulty lcd screen, not a driver issue of operating system issue. One look made it pretty obvious what was wrong, so why wipe it and start over? I suppose if I griped I would be told they had to diagnose the thing, but truth is it's stupid.
The thing came with a disclaimer claiming that the warranty would be voided if any operating system other than Vista was used. I doubt that would stand up legally, especially with microsoft being looked at for possibly violating anti-trust laws. I can see both sides I guess. I would hate to have to eat the cost of repairing an item is it was damaged by an improper driver being used or something, although basically I would think a driver would either let the component work or it wouldn't work. It might cause the company to spend some time diagnosing the issue, then resolving it, but I would think the compontent wouldn't need to be replaced. But really, if there are drivers available, what should it matter if I run Vista, XP, 7, or some form of linux?
I don't like Vista. Just moving a file from one folder to another was a chore and a half. Microsoft is trying to make an operating system that is stable, secure, and does everything anyone could possibly want and is idiot proof. Why? Let other people worry about browsers, image views, media players, ect. Build the darn operating system and let other developers worry about the rest. If you want to offer the items fine, but don't bundle everything together and cram it down our throats as a package deal that runs slow, crashes a lot, or requires me to confirm what I want to do and give permission 38 times before my computer does it. The little bit I have played with Windows 7 it seems a big improvement and I think I can probably live with it, but at the moment I think I will wait and see. My experience with first, second, or third editions of a new microsoft product is not good. I have a lot of stuff for XP also, so for the next year or so I will stick with XP. I would almost like to switch to Linux, I have tried a couple of different builds on it and like them, but the 2 online games I am hopelessly addicted to don't support it so no can do.
Anyway, I told you that to tell you this. I shipped her lappy off via Fedex air. It was returned Fedex ground. Those aren't the samething, at least not here. I found a door sticker yesterday stating they had tried to deliver and needed a signature. I was supposed to sign it and leave it on the door. The picture of the laptop sitting on my snow covered porch under the dripping icycles waiting for me to get home firmly in mind, I called the number on the tag and convinced them to hold it in the terminal. They first told me holding for pickup was not part of the ground service, but when I explained what it was and why I couldn't be there to receive it, they agreed tand gave me an address. Now I was speaking to a 1-800 number rather than the actual local terminal. I didn't recognise the Ten Tex Road name and asked if it was off Jackson Street, I was told no it was showing as off Brown Mill Road. That wasn't too far from my work so I felt safe.
The next morning I verified it was being held and called work to say I would be a few minutes late. I then drove to Brown Mill Road and went to the end of it without seeing Ten Tex Road. I did see a Fedex Ground sign in front of a semi-deserted warehouse with noone there. I then drove to Jackson Street and discovered that not only were Fedex Air and Fedex Ground not the same (oddly UPS seems to live with one terminal for all their travel elements locally) but apparently mortal enemies. After making some symbols in the air I assume were to ward off evil, (either that or I am now cursed to never ship another package via air) she gave me some very vague directions. I went to work and looked up the address on the mighty mapquest. I printed out the instructions. It looked like I should have taken Brown Mill Road, taken the first left onto Ten Tex. I wondered how the hell I missed that.
So I drove to Brown Mill and the first left was not Ten Tex. I again drove out to the end of the road and again found no road, right or left was called Ten Tex. I returned and took the last right and it wrapped around and came out about 100 yards off 111 from where I entered Brown Mill Road. Remembering the Fedex Air directions, something about moved behind a truck stop, I went to the truck stop. I noticed that the entrance to the truck stop continued across the front and wrapped around the building so I followed it and it became a road. Following this road I encountered a road turning to my right called Ten Tex. This road lead straight to the survialist's armed encampment, I mean the FedEx Ground terminal.
About 2 years ago I had to drive to Charles Bass Correctional Facility for a parole hearing. It was interesting in that Charles Bass was located in an industrial park in Nashville. You are driving along passing warehouses and factories and then suddenly come what looks like any other large factory except for the 8 foot tall chainlink topped by 5 strands of razor wire. FedEx Ground only had 6 foot of chainlink and only three strands of barbed wire, but still I couldn't help the flash back. Fortunately a driver arrived when I did, and he used his id card and passcode to get us in and he tracked down an employee for me, as apparently the huge building only held one. The turnstile you use to get in and out looked like either a medevil torture device or some futuristic transport terminal. Heavy steel with the key pad and card reader locking it, you feel like you are caught in a giant gear about to be crushed. It was kind of cool. You could probably like hold off an army of zombies from inside it, provided there was enough food in the break room vending machines to sustain you.
Anyway, after hunting down, downloading and installing her drivers and all her favorite programs, the laptop was running like and charm and all was well for about 2 months, then her screen started developing lines. She showed it to me and it looked like a hardware issue. The laptop was under warranty so off it went. I just got the thing back. Now Acer was actually pretty easy to deal with on it. They said the lcd was "bleeding" and it was covered at no cost. Really the only problem I had with it was they reimaged the hard drive back to factory original. Now the repair agreement warns that they may need to do this to fix the problem, but this issue was a faulty lcd screen, not a driver issue of operating system issue. One look made it pretty obvious what was wrong, so why wipe it and start over? I suppose if I griped I would be told they had to diagnose the thing, but truth is it's stupid.
The thing came with a disclaimer claiming that the warranty would be voided if any operating system other than Vista was used. I doubt that would stand up legally, especially with microsoft being looked at for possibly violating anti-trust laws. I can see both sides I guess. I would hate to have to eat the cost of repairing an item is it was damaged by an improper driver being used or something, although basically I would think a driver would either let the component work or it wouldn't work. It might cause the company to spend some time diagnosing the issue, then resolving it, but I would think the compontent wouldn't need to be replaced. But really, if there are drivers available, what should it matter if I run Vista, XP, 7, or some form of linux?
I don't like Vista. Just moving a file from one folder to another was a chore and a half. Microsoft is trying to make an operating system that is stable, secure, and does everything anyone could possibly want and is idiot proof. Why? Let other people worry about browsers, image views, media players, ect. Build the darn operating system and let other developers worry about the rest. If you want to offer the items fine, but don't bundle everything together and cram it down our throats as a package deal that runs slow, crashes a lot, or requires me to confirm what I want to do and give permission 38 times before my computer does it. The little bit I have played with Windows 7 it seems a big improvement and I think I can probably live with it, but at the moment I think I will wait and see. My experience with first, second, or third editions of a new microsoft product is not good. I have a lot of stuff for XP also, so for the next year or so I will stick with XP. I would almost like to switch to Linux, I have tried a couple of different builds on it and like them, but the 2 online games I am hopelessly addicted to don't support it so no can do.
Anyway, I told you that to tell you this. I shipped her lappy off via Fedex air. It was returned Fedex ground. Those aren't the samething, at least not here. I found a door sticker yesterday stating they had tried to deliver and needed a signature. I was supposed to sign it and leave it on the door. The picture of the laptop sitting on my snow covered porch under the dripping icycles waiting for me to get home firmly in mind, I called the number on the tag and convinced them to hold it in the terminal. They first told me holding for pickup was not part of the ground service, but when I explained what it was and why I couldn't be there to receive it, they agreed tand gave me an address. Now I was speaking to a 1-800 number rather than the actual local terminal. I didn't recognise the Ten Tex Road name and asked if it was off Jackson Street, I was told no it was showing as off Brown Mill Road. That wasn't too far from my work so I felt safe.
The next morning I verified it was being held and called work to say I would be a few minutes late. I then drove to Brown Mill Road and went to the end of it without seeing Ten Tex Road. I did see a Fedex Ground sign in front of a semi-deserted warehouse with noone there. I then drove to Jackson Street and discovered that not only were Fedex Air and Fedex Ground not the same (oddly UPS seems to live with one terminal for all their travel elements locally) but apparently mortal enemies. After making some symbols in the air I assume were to ward off evil, (either that or I am now cursed to never ship another package via air) she gave me some very vague directions. I went to work and looked up the address on the mighty mapquest. I printed out the instructions. It looked like I should have taken Brown Mill Road, taken the first left onto Ten Tex. I wondered how the hell I missed that.
So I drove to Brown Mill and the first left was not Ten Tex. I again drove out to the end of the road and again found no road, right or left was called Ten Tex. I returned and took the last right and it wrapped around and came out about 100 yards off 111 from where I entered Brown Mill Road. Remembering the Fedex Air directions, something about moved behind a truck stop, I went to the truck stop. I noticed that the entrance to the truck stop continued across the front and wrapped around the building so I followed it and it became a road. Following this road I encountered a road turning to my right called Ten Tex. This road lead straight to the survialist's armed encampment, I mean the FedEx Ground terminal.
About 2 years ago I had to drive to Charles Bass Correctional Facility for a parole hearing. It was interesting in that Charles Bass was located in an industrial park in Nashville. You are driving along passing warehouses and factories and then suddenly come what looks like any other large factory except for the 8 foot tall chainlink topped by 5 strands of razor wire. FedEx Ground only had 6 foot of chainlink and only three strands of barbed wire, but still I couldn't help the flash back. Fortunately a driver arrived when I did, and he used his id card and passcode to get us in and he tracked down an employee for me, as apparently the huge building only held one. The turnstile you use to get in and out looked like either a medevil torture device or some futuristic transport terminal. Heavy steel with the key pad and card reader locking it, you feel like you are caught in a giant gear about to be crushed. It was kind of cool. You could probably like hold off an army of zombies from inside it, provided there was enough food in the break room vending machines to sustain you.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Famous??!!!!????
Fame is a weird thing. I mean of course, that I don't understand it. I understand of course, someone being famous for accomplishing something, being talented or successful at something, or having a special ability. I can even understand being famous for being unusual or special for some reason. I can understand being famous for having 12 toes, 2 noses, hitting more homeruns or making more touchdowns during a professional ballgame or season. I can understand being famous for playing classical piano symphanies flawlessly with your toes, or singing beautifully. I can understand being famous for being an accomplished actor, director, businessman, musician, athlete, serial killer, ect. What I don't understand is becoming famous for being famous or being famous for being the 21st century version of a circus geek.
Let's look at some recent celebrities. Paris Hilton is the person usually trotted out when this topic comes up. I think it's time to give her a break though. Paris is a HILTON. She comes from an extremely wealthy family, so someone there deserves the distinction of being successful at business. That person could be long dead, but at least someone hasn't blown the whole family business, so some brain cells must still be in the gene pool. Paris isn't only famous for being rich and spoiled, although admittedly that's part of it. Paris has a sister named Nikki, (I think, can't be bothered to look it up, I might lose my rant which is very painful.) This sister somehow is less famous than Paris despite being somewhat healthier and less angular-looking. Both are rich, blond, thin, yet one is much more well-known. Why? Probably the sleeze factor. Paris has built up a reputation based on alcohol, drugs and digitally recorded sex. She says stupid things and seems to be a total space cadet. She is often photographed wearing very little, proving she apparently doesn't actually consume food. She is the poster child for bimbos and sluts everywhere. She had a best friend named Nicole Richie who helped her get a tv show. Nicole was famous for a)hanging out with Paris, and b)being the daughter or Lionel Richie former member of the Commadores and successful 80's pop star. I am probably one of the few people who remember Mr. "Dancing on the Ceiling" so mostly she was famous for being Paris's BF30seconds. Nicole was shorter, less blond, at least 30% less slutty, and in my opinion a bit more attractive than Paris, so when the relationship crashed, she disappeared.
Apparently there wasn't enough Paris to go around, so we also have something called a Kardashian. Apparently this is another wealthy beyond belief family that is either well stocked with several similar daughters, or there is one daughter that can change her height and name at will. The version seen most often seems to be named Kim. Imagine a slightly less vocal, more volumptious, brunette Paris, with less pinched features and you have Kim. Kim even has her own sex video where apparently a rap star pees on her.
But those aren't the people I wonder about. I am wondering more about the women who calls herself Tia Tequilla. She somehow managed to use a myspace profile to get herself on television. Basically she is famous for being on the internet. I am on the internet, but nobody gives me money. Basically this person has parlayed a slutty image and a social network profile into a career doing virtually nothing. She has tried modeling, singing, acting. I have yet to see proof of actual talent. This reminds me of the kid in school who would do anything on a dare or for money. "Eat that worm? No problem." "Take off my top and kiss that other slutty looking chick? No problem."
Now I have no problem with attractive, or even semi-attractive, women appearing in various stages of nudity. As a matter of fact, I generally enjoy it, but they need to stay on porn sites, men's magazines, entertainment mags, porn dvds, ect. Stop clogging up news venues and making guest appearances on tv shows and doing bit parts in movies. Better get all the money you can quick, because partying, drinking, drugging and acting batshit crazy like you are, by the time you hit 30 you'll look a rode-hard-and-put-up-wet 60 and be acting full-blown psycho and no one will want that top to come off.
Let's look at some recent celebrities. Paris Hilton is the person usually trotted out when this topic comes up. I think it's time to give her a break though. Paris is a HILTON. She comes from an extremely wealthy family, so someone there deserves the distinction of being successful at business. That person could be long dead, but at least someone hasn't blown the whole family business, so some brain cells must still be in the gene pool. Paris isn't only famous for being rich and spoiled, although admittedly that's part of it. Paris has a sister named Nikki, (I think, can't be bothered to look it up, I might lose my rant which is very painful.) This sister somehow is less famous than Paris despite being somewhat healthier and less angular-looking. Both are rich, blond, thin, yet one is much more well-known. Why? Probably the sleeze factor. Paris has built up a reputation based on alcohol, drugs and digitally recorded sex. She says stupid things and seems to be a total space cadet. She is often photographed wearing very little, proving she apparently doesn't actually consume food. She is the poster child for bimbos and sluts everywhere. She had a best friend named Nicole Richie who helped her get a tv show. Nicole was famous for a)hanging out with Paris, and b)being the daughter or Lionel Richie former member of the Commadores and successful 80's pop star. I am probably one of the few people who remember Mr. "Dancing on the Ceiling" so mostly she was famous for being Paris's BF30seconds. Nicole was shorter, less blond, at least 30% less slutty, and in my opinion a bit more attractive than Paris, so when the relationship crashed, she disappeared.
Apparently there wasn't enough Paris to go around, so we also have something called a Kardashian. Apparently this is another wealthy beyond belief family that is either well stocked with several similar daughters, or there is one daughter that can change her height and name at will. The version seen most often seems to be named Kim. Imagine a slightly less vocal, more volumptious, brunette Paris, with less pinched features and you have Kim. Kim even has her own sex video where apparently a rap star pees on her.
But those aren't the people I wonder about. I am wondering more about the women who calls herself Tia Tequilla. She somehow managed to use a myspace profile to get herself on television. Basically she is famous for being on the internet. I am on the internet, but nobody gives me money. Basically this person has parlayed a slutty image and a social network profile into a career doing virtually nothing. She has tried modeling, singing, acting. I have yet to see proof of actual talent. This reminds me of the kid in school who would do anything on a dare or for money. "Eat that worm? No problem." "Take off my top and kiss that other slutty looking chick? No problem."
Now I have no problem with attractive, or even semi-attractive, women appearing in various stages of nudity. As a matter of fact, I generally enjoy it, but they need to stay on porn sites, men's magazines, entertainment mags, porn dvds, ect. Stop clogging up news venues and making guest appearances on tv shows and doing bit parts in movies. Better get all the money you can quick, because partying, drinking, drugging and acting batshit crazy like you are, by the time you hit 30 you'll look a rode-hard-and-put-up-wet 60 and be acting full-blown psycho and no one will want that top to come off.
Monday, February 08, 2010
I Broke a Tradition This Year
Yes, I broke a long-running personal tradition this year. I accidentally did it, but it still counts. Now I have to start over. You see, I accidentally discovered who was playing in the superbowl the day before the bowl rather than my normal method of discovering it the day after when I also find out who won. As you can tell, the superbowl plays an important role in my life. Sorry, I know it is important to a lot of people, and they derive a lot of enjoyment out of anticipating, arguing and watching, but I don't get it. Professional organized team sports don't make any sense to me. At least with individual sports you have an element of personal skill and challenge, but even then I wonder. I mean basically we are making it possible to pay people more money per year than most of us will make in a lifetime, to play a kid's game. Professional football, basketball, and baseball players who are in high demand can easily be paid millions of dollars a year. Even the less in demand make hundreds of thousands, and that isn't including product endorsements, personal appearances, interviews, ect where they can easily earn 2 to 3 times as much as their salary.
I don't understand it. It's like actors and entertainers, we pay these people so we can watch them play a game or pretend to be something they aren't. We pay more to be entertained than we do for services that directly impact us. Someone tried to justify the high salaries of sports stars by telling me that they had such a short career. Career? They are playing a GAME. By definition a game is leisure, while a career is work. What is the difference between paying someone to play football and paying them to play hopstotch, red rover, old maid, chutes and ladders, or scrabble? Give me a $100,000 a year and I will happily play chutes and ladders or checkers for a couple of hours once a week. And I will retire in 10 to 12 years if you want me to.
Physical games were original done as a way to insure warriors stayed in good condition and helped them to practice some of the skills needed to fight during peace time while at the same time burning off some of the aggression warriors tend to naturally have. Later these games were encouraged at school because they resulted in kids getting excercise, learning things like teamwork, good sportmanship, how to win or lose gracefully, while burning up enough of their youthful energy that they might actually be dealt with in a classroom.
I don't understand it. It's like actors and entertainers, we pay these people so we can watch them play a game or pretend to be something they aren't. We pay more to be entertained than we do for services that directly impact us. Someone tried to justify the high salaries of sports stars by telling me that they had such a short career. Career? They are playing a GAME. By definition a game is leisure, while a career is work. What is the difference between paying someone to play football and paying them to play hopstotch, red rover, old maid, chutes and ladders, or scrabble? Give me a $100,000 a year and I will happily play chutes and ladders or checkers for a couple of hours once a week. And I will retire in 10 to 12 years if you want me to.
Physical games were original done as a way to insure warriors stayed in good condition and helped them to practice some of the skills needed to fight during peace time while at the same time burning off some of the aggression warriors tend to naturally have. Later these games were encouraged at school because they resulted in kids getting excercise, learning things like teamwork, good sportmanship, how to win or lose gracefully, while burning up enough of their youthful energy that they might actually be dealt with in a classroom.
Monday, February 01, 2010
I know now that I am getting old. How do I know? I now suffer from that most heinous of ailments that strike the elderly, nostalgia. I currently have no television, cable isn't available in my area, and I decided that Dish network is the great Satan of our times. I can get direct tv or even digital cable through my telephone company, who is actually cheaper than the local cable or either satellite tv provider, but at the moment I don't want the extra bill. Besides, my 32 inch television in the living room was struck by lightning. I have a 20 inch in storage, and another big one in the bedroom, but restling that monster down solo seems like a bunch of work, so basically it is collecting dust now. I miss the background noise, but as far as tv shows go, almost everything is available via internet now, and you can watch pretty much when ever you want. Anyway, I recently discovered Hulu has a bunch of old shows I remember from way back when. I went through both seasons of Dead Like Me, last week. Then recently I found News Radio. They have a lot of the first 4 season episodes, but not all of them. They don't seem to have any of the last season though. I used to love that show. It holds up reasonable wel,l in my opinion, although it is over 10 years old. If you haven't seen the show, you might want to cruise over and check it out.
In general, it is a 30 minute character driven sitcom about a group of odd individuals who work together in an AM news radio station located in New York City. It was released in 1995 and had a 5 season run. The show starts with the hiring of a young, midwestern man as the news director. The first season deals with his learning how to deal with the oddballs he has to work with.
Dave Foley played the news director Dave Nelson. I don't remember seeing Foley in much after this. I think he was with the Kids in the Hall comedy troop. Looking on IMDB though, he has lots of credits. He generally played the straight, sane character, although he had a lot of good sarcastic lines. A lot of humor was made about his small stature and youthful experience as well as some of his geeky hobbies: ventriloquism, tap dance, knife throwing.
Stephen Root played Jimmy James the wealthy station owner. This show made me a fan of this man. He has extensive credits for both acting and voice acting. He has been on True Blood, West Wing, Pushing Daisies, done voice work for Ice Age, Tripping the Rift, King of the Hill and been in a ton of movies. His over-the-top, not exactly ethical, micro managing owner was great on the show.
Andy Dick played Matthew the clumsy, weird reporter. I am not a big fan of his, but mostly because of post-News Radio happenings. I thought he was decent in the show, but with the relatively large cast, you only got him in small doses.
Maura Tierney, ER and Rescue Me, played Lisa, Dave's love interest, reporter who became a producer, news director, than back to reporter. She played a high-strung, intelligent, driven woman, a strong although neurotic character and was a good foil for Dave.
Vicki Lewis played the weird, red-headed secretary Beth, who's main job seemed to be spending company money on herself and feeding Dave's massive coffee habit. She was mostly known for being a bit man crazy, adventurous, and wearing weird and generally inappropriate outfits. In season three she suddenly started baring her mid-drift almost every episode. Not that anyone should mind, as a) by todays standards she was dressed for church and b) you could play a Led Zepplin drum solo on those abs. Vicki was a great character and her interaction and attempts to get out of doing any actual work were awe inspiring.
Joe Rogan, Host of Fear Factor, played Joe Garelli, the station electricion/tough guy/street wise character. He invented most of his equipment, engineered most of his repairs, and occasionally exhibited knowledge that seemed highly out of place. He probably got the least screen time, but made the most of it. His character is quiet memorable.
Phil Hartman, Saturday Night Live, Troy McClure on the Simpsons, played Bill McNeal the self-centered, arrogant on-air personality. His character was annoying, brash, egotistical, arrogant, every horrible personality trait you could think of, he displayed, yet Hartman did it with such charm you never loathed Bill. His clashes with the other characters were awesome. Hartman's murder probably killed the show, as the ratings really dropped after his character died on the show. The show where Dave allows Bill to air imaginary interviews with President Clinton, is a classic.
Khandi Alexander, CSI Miami, was the other on-air personality for the first 4 seasons. She left the station for another job. Why she actually left the show is not known. There is some speculation that another character slated to be a regular on the show may have caused a conflict, but that character departed before Khandi's Catherine Duke, left. Catherine was a strong character, confidents, intelligent, beautiful and more than enough to deal with Bill and Joe her usual foils.
These were the regular characters.
Jon Lovitz, Saturday Night Live, The Critic, was a good friend of Phil Hartman, and he did a couple of guest appearances on News Radio before coming on in the last season as Max, a replacement for Bill.
Lauren Graham, Gilmore Girls, played Andrea and efficiency expert hired by Jimmy James, who turns the station on its head by firing Matthew, demoting Dave and making Lisa news director. Rumor is she was supposed to remain on the show, but she was actually only on 4 episodes before disappearing. I don't remember it ever explaining why.
There were numerous guest stars, Scott Adams appeared once as did Jerry Seinfield. Friends of Dave Foley and Phil Hartman made appearances. Rock video vixen and model Bobbi Brown (Cherry Pie) appeared twice as Matthews girl friend.
This was a great show and when it stopped airing in 1999 I was sad. I was really happy to become reacquainted with it on Hulu.
Dead Like Me also aged well. Can't wait to see what else I find on there.
In general, it is a 30 minute character driven sitcom about a group of odd individuals who work together in an AM news radio station located in New York City. It was released in 1995 and had a 5 season run. The show starts with the hiring of a young, midwestern man as the news director. The first season deals with his learning how to deal with the oddballs he has to work with.
Dave Foley played the news director Dave Nelson. I don't remember seeing Foley in much after this. I think he was with the Kids in the Hall comedy troop. Looking on IMDB though, he has lots of credits. He generally played the straight, sane character, although he had a lot of good sarcastic lines. A lot of humor was made about his small stature and youthful experience as well as some of his geeky hobbies: ventriloquism, tap dance, knife throwing.
Stephen Root played Jimmy James the wealthy station owner. This show made me a fan of this man. He has extensive credits for both acting and voice acting. He has been on True Blood, West Wing, Pushing Daisies, done voice work for Ice Age, Tripping the Rift, King of the Hill and been in a ton of movies. His over-the-top, not exactly ethical, micro managing owner was great on the show.
Andy Dick played Matthew the clumsy, weird reporter. I am not a big fan of his, but mostly because of post-News Radio happenings. I thought he was decent in the show, but with the relatively large cast, you only got him in small doses.
Maura Tierney, ER and Rescue Me, played Lisa, Dave's love interest, reporter who became a producer, news director, than back to reporter. She played a high-strung, intelligent, driven woman, a strong although neurotic character and was a good foil for Dave.
Vicki Lewis played the weird, red-headed secretary Beth, who's main job seemed to be spending company money on herself and feeding Dave's massive coffee habit. She was mostly known for being a bit man crazy, adventurous, and wearing weird and generally inappropriate outfits. In season three she suddenly started baring her mid-drift almost every episode. Not that anyone should mind, as a) by todays standards she was dressed for church and b) you could play a Led Zepplin drum solo on those abs. Vicki was a great character and her interaction and attempts to get out of doing any actual work were awe inspiring.
Joe Rogan, Host of Fear Factor, played Joe Garelli, the station electricion/tough guy/street wise character. He invented most of his equipment, engineered most of his repairs, and occasionally exhibited knowledge that seemed highly out of place. He probably got the least screen time, but made the most of it. His character is quiet memorable.
Phil Hartman, Saturday Night Live, Troy McClure on the Simpsons, played Bill McNeal the self-centered, arrogant on-air personality. His character was annoying, brash, egotistical, arrogant, every horrible personality trait you could think of, he displayed, yet Hartman did it with such charm you never loathed Bill. His clashes with the other characters were awesome. Hartman's murder probably killed the show, as the ratings really dropped after his character died on the show. The show where Dave allows Bill to air imaginary interviews with President Clinton, is a classic.
Khandi Alexander, CSI Miami, was the other on-air personality for the first 4 seasons. She left the station for another job. Why she actually left the show is not known. There is some speculation that another character slated to be a regular on the show may have caused a conflict, but that character departed before Khandi's Catherine Duke, left. Catherine was a strong character, confidents, intelligent, beautiful and more than enough to deal with Bill and Joe her usual foils.
These were the regular characters.
Jon Lovitz, Saturday Night Live, The Critic, was a good friend of Phil Hartman, and he did a couple of guest appearances on News Radio before coming on in the last season as Max, a replacement for Bill.
Lauren Graham, Gilmore Girls, played Andrea and efficiency expert hired by Jimmy James, who turns the station on its head by firing Matthew, demoting Dave and making Lisa news director. Rumor is she was supposed to remain on the show, but she was actually only on 4 episodes before disappearing. I don't remember it ever explaining why.
There were numerous guest stars, Scott Adams appeared once as did Jerry Seinfield. Friends of Dave Foley and Phil Hartman made appearances. Rock video vixen and model Bobbi Brown (Cherry Pie) appeared twice as Matthews girl friend.
This was a great show and when it stopped airing in 1999 I was sad. I was really happy to become reacquainted with it on Hulu.
Dead Like Me also aged well. Can't wait to see what else I find on there.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Idiots with telephones
I didn't sleep worth a crap this weekend. Here I am at work groggy as hell and wishing I were somewhere else, but it is the last week of the month, and all must be done or the world ends. Still, I feel like crap so I am putting off the enevitable until the last possible moment. Procrastination is a art of the highest caliber. Anyway the weekend started well enough. I didn't have any flex to claim so I worked the whole day Friday. Then I went home, fixed a simple meal, watched some boob tube. I tend to watch very little through the week and save up for the weekend. Played a couple of online games and went to bed. I was sleeping well, ringed by my vicious attack felines who protect me against burglars, boogeymen, and mice while I sleep. They are like fuzzy hotwater bottles that never cool off, so we were nice and comfy. Then it happened. The phone rang. The phone rang at 4:00 freaking AM. Now, my father had a stroke some years back, my mother isn't in good health, and my wife, who isn't currently living with me, has been in the emergency room twice in the last week or so. My number, due to my profession and the fact that I am a card-carrying, neo-revisionistic hermit. Anywho, noone calls me at 4:00 AM for anything good. So boom, I shot straight up, removed the cpap mask and fought my groggy self over to the phone in a major panic. It's about 3000 yards away on the other side of the room and I am doing my best to avoid squishing cats or tripping over dogs, or breaking toes on furniture. I pick up the offensive noisy device and and mumble hello.
"Who is this?" demands the voice on the other end of the line.
My only defense is that I was half asleep and in a panic. Calling someone, then demanding to know who they are rather than either asking for someone or stating who you are is inexcusably rude. I don't actually like telephones, so I tend to maintain high standards for there use as an good excuse to spend as little time on them as possible. Unfortunately for me the rest of the world adores the damned devices, so it isn't working.
I answered but in my sleep fogged voice the man on the other end of the phone thought I said Jerry. I know because he barked back "Jerry?"
At this point, anger started kicking in because I realized it was more than likely a wrong number. So I snarled back "Who is THIS?" and there was some heat to my voice as the inner probation office shields started falling into place.
Instead of answering his voice got a bit sullen and he asked, "Is this 702-x0xx?" The number is burned into my brain, but I haven't yet looked it up to see who he was calling. His number, a cell by the way, is on my caller id. The number I am not putting here because I don't know who he was trying to call, nor why. Nor do I know who my caller is, or what his situation was. In our 7 sentence conversation, he did not sound intoxicated, so perhaps a ride failed to show or something, but the reason I mentioned this because of the digits he called out only 2 match the number he actually dialed. How the hell do you get only 2 out of 7 numbers right on a cell phone which should have a lighted keypad and a lighted display showing the number you punch in?
My reply to the gentleman when he inquired as to the telephone number he had just called was, "Good God man, you aren't even close."
Saturday was a beautiful day, although I had a headache, but it stormed Saturday night, high wind, thunder, lightning, rain. So I didn't sleep well, then it rained all day Sunday. My yard squishes when you walk on it and the barn is flooded. Sunday night I slept a bit better, but I remember hearing something at some point hitting the house, I thought it was sleet. Then I got cold and had to get up for another blanket.
PS, if you call someone at an ungodly hour, a) have an excellent reason, b) double check the number you dial, c) introduce yourself and don't be rude.
"Who is this?" demands the voice on the other end of the line.
My only defense is that I was half asleep and in a panic. Calling someone, then demanding to know who they are rather than either asking for someone or stating who you are is inexcusably rude. I don't actually like telephones, so I tend to maintain high standards for there use as an good excuse to spend as little time on them as possible. Unfortunately for me the rest of the world adores the damned devices, so it isn't working.
I answered but in my sleep fogged voice the man on the other end of the phone thought I said Jerry. I know because he barked back "Jerry?"
At this point, anger started kicking in because I realized it was more than likely a wrong number. So I snarled back "Who is THIS?" and there was some heat to my voice as the inner probation office shields started falling into place.
Instead of answering his voice got a bit sullen and he asked, "Is this 702-x0xx?" The number is burned into my brain, but I haven't yet looked it up to see who he was calling. His number, a cell by the way, is on my caller id. The number I am not putting here because I don't know who he was trying to call, nor why. Nor do I know who my caller is, or what his situation was. In our 7 sentence conversation, he did not sound intoxicated, so perhaps a ride failed to show or something, but the reason I mentioned this because of the digits he called out only 2 match the number he actually dialed. How the hell do you get only 2 out of 7 numbers right on a cell phone which should have a lighted keypad and a lighted display showing the number you punch in?
My reply to the gentleman when he inquired as to the telephone number he had just called was, "Good God man, you aren't even close."
Saturday was a beautiful day, although I had a headache, but it stormed Saturday night, high wind, thunder, lightning, rain. So I didn't sleep well, then it rained all day Sunday. My yard squishes when you walk on it and the barn is flooded. Sunday night I slept a bit better, but I remember hearing something at some point hitting the house, I thought it was sleet. Then I got cold and had to get up for another blanket.
PS, if you call someone at an ungodly hour, a) have an excellent reason, b) double check the number you dial, c) introduce yourself and don't be rude.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Spare Parts
A few years back my wife woke me up because a volcano went off in her stomach. Bent like a pretzel I had to get dressed and roll her out to the car and rush off to the emergency room. Once there I was able to give them my insurance card and fill out enough paperwork to enlist in the French Foreign Legion (and I may have I am not really sure, someone keeps calling the house gibbering in some non-English language and I get some odd emails now and again) we were allowed to wait two hours and then taken to a bed where we spent another 3 hours. They did enough tests so that my insurance company built a wing on to the hospital, said "Damned if we know, better see your doctor", pumped her full of morphine and sent her home happy. Two weeks later we were back. A bit later, the first attack was at 2 AM, the second was more courteous and let me sleep until 4 AM. Upon finally seeing someone, the first thing they said was, "what did your doctor say it was?" "Don't know," I answered, "her appointment is a week from tomorrow, earliest they could get her in." Well, they did enough for my insurance company to build an office building to rent to the local doctors, pumped her full of painkillers again and we went home. We did learn that a) a gasteric cocktail is nowhere near as tasty as a normal cocktail
and had even less effect on what her issue was and b) morphine makes you feel really, really, good and makes the volcano go away. The doctor she went to had no idea what was wrong, prescibed medicine anyway, ran no tests. Not the best $20 copay I ever spent.
Now, to hear my wife describe it, the pain is in the middle of her stomach, incredibly intense, at least an 8 out of 10. The reason it isn't higher is that it isn't constant, it seems to come in waves. varying in their intensity. My wife doesn't have any full blown attacks for awhile, she has a couple of milder ones, that the medicine seems to help and if she can ever get to sleep, she wakes with an upset stomach that goes away in about a day. Then in 2008, BOOM, another intense attack, around 11pm. I heard the hospital in the neighboring city was remodeling, doing some major renovations and building a new outpatient surgery center, so I took my insurance card and wife there.
We actually got to a bed much faster here, but the overall weight was just as long. We seem to average 3 and a half hours per emergency room visit. We could spend a night in a decent motel for the copay. Anyway, my wife starts asking for morphine immediately. I try to hush her up. Not that I don't sympathize, but given my profession, I am very aware that there are a large number of people who show up at emergency rooms just hoping to score pain meds and I want them to take her seriously not label her a painkiller junkie. Usually backpain is the ailment of choice, but given that people around here run to the emergency room for toothache and sneezing twice, usually cause they have no insurance, or ran out of alcohol and started worrying about that cold, anything is possible, so I tried to get her to concentrate on what was wrong with her. At some point I think I heard mentioned the 2 words I would later learn might be her issue, but at that point I was convinced it was all in her head, some sort of anxiety attack. I would later regret that and feel bad, although there was a bit of truth to it. Anyway, while the doctor took more time, and more test the results were the same and we went home.
A year later, 6 days ago I spent another 4 hours in the ER. This time the doctor seemed a bit more focused. Specifically on an organ called the gall bladder. These were the words I heard the last time I was here, but with no follow through. This time in addition to the phenegrin and morphine, he referred her to an ultrasound. Unfortunately due to a communictation breakdown, my wife didn't know to not drink before hand, so it took her 2 days to get it, and sure enough there were stones in there. That was two days later and I spent another 3 hours in the emergency room getting lectured on the gall bladder, it's purpose and duties, and what goes wrong. Apparently stuff just happens, it grows rocks, then anything (food, stress, Ben Stiller movies) set it off and it has contractions, squeezing the stones and waves of exquisite pain ensue.
You know how when you take that complicated gadget that you have no idea how works apart to fix it, and once you put it back together and you have those 3 springs, 4 screws and 7 plastic and/or metal pieces left over which obviously serve no purpose, because it works fine without them until it breaks down again for a completely different and unrelated reason and you have to replace it but buy a different brand or model because obviously that one was junk?
Well the human body is like that, we come with bits that don't really do anything usefull except give doctors a way to make lots of money. If you think about it, what do gall bladders, tonsils, and appendixes do anyway? Basically they just develop infections or stones, then you either buy lots of medicine or have them removed. Apparently they aren't needed, so why are they included. There are enough necessary items in there to go wrong, do we really need the accessories?
Anyway, we found out many things. Apparently if you are having gall bladder problems you have to watch what you eat. According to 2 doctors and a nurse, raw green vegetables, spicy food, greasy food, fatty food, and nuts are all bad and will set off an attack. The surgeon says the gall bladder wouldn't know the difference between a head of lettuce and five-alarm chili with extra peppers, what matters is the amount. He says the stomach has to stretch to trigger the hormone that starts the old gall bladder going, so as long as you eat small amount spaced out, you can eat anything. Who's right? They both agree soda is bad because the carbonation swells the tummy.
So what have we learned?
Gall bladder = extra part
Gall stones = bad
Morphine = good
Gall bladder + gall stones = new wing on hospital paid for by my insurance company less co-pay.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Eggs and Country Breakfasts
I am trying to lose weight, again. I am also trying to cut massive amounts of salt out of my diet. I don't salt anything I eat, not even when cooking it, so you would think "how much salt can he be eating?" Lots of it apparently. If you eat anything that comes prepackaged, it pretty much contains gobs and gobs of salt. Canned vegetables, canned meats, boxed items, all are supposed to have long shelf lives so lots of salt. Even the stuff that says low sodium has some salt. Even frozen vegetables have salt added. They have a lot less salt, but they have some. Now I knew sodas had salt in them, even the diet ones. Diet coke seems to have the least while the rest seem to run pretty even. But fruit juice has it. Now I am not sure about the kind you have to buy in milk section. Maybe the stuff that has to be kept cold like orange juice doesn't but the apple, cranberry, grape, ect stuff you can buy straight off the shelf has as much or more salt than soda. The frozen concentrate seems to have none though, so I guess that is what I have to turn to.
Anyway, my new doctor isn't much for low-carb dieting. Basically she is wanting to send me to a dietician. I am resisting so far because I really don't want to get into calorie counting and the like, I know me and too much restriction is not going to work. I have been trying to slowly alter my eating patterns. Trying to eat more whole grain stuff, lots more fruits and veggies, less red meat and meat in general. I also am trying to pull a bit of the low carb in by avoiding starches. I do occasionally indulge in a baked potato, or pasta. My rice is brown, whole grain. My bread is whole wheat. I try to eat frozen or fresh veggies and try to snack only on a bit of fruit. The hardest part to deal with is portion control. Eat less of what you eat. I have had some success, but the weight loss is yet to be seen. Of course I have to implement the second and third part of the plan. Part 2 started last week. I went into a regular eating plan. I have a planned breakfast, with variations on weekends and a planned lunch. Dinner is a bit more wing it. Basically my breakfast consists of a whole wheat bagel and a piece of fruit. I am not a big breakfast eater. I have trouble eating when I first wake, but tend to get really hungry when I have been awake 2 or 3 hours. My doctor says eating breakfast is better as it gets your metabolism going faster and you will burn up more calories. The bagel is portable so I bring it to work and eat it when I first get here followed by an orange or apple. I bring a second fruit in case I want a snack. My office is right across the hall from the break room with it's table of high sugar, high carb snack offerings. On the weekends I will indulge myself a little with boiled eggs or omlets and whole wheat toast. But I tend to either skip lunch or eat a much lighter one. Lunch through the week is either a salad or a can of tuna or chicken with one or two pieces of whole wheat bread. No condiments because they make the bread really soggy if I prepare them before hand and they tend to be high in sodium and carbs. Supper tends to be a serving of meat, heavy on chicken, and some type of vegetables, frozen and either warmed on the stove top or microwaved with a bit of water. Recently it's been really cold so this mix is good for small batches of soup, just cut up the meat and boil then toss in a mix of frozen veggies and let it simmer. Fresh garlic and onions add a little flavor and there is always pepper.
But this got me to thinking about breakfast when I was young. My father was raised on a farm and our early breakfasts were what he was used to. Usually 2 fried eggs, although occasionally scrambled, either 3 or 4 small slices of bacon or 2 sausage patties or a small piece of ham, either buttered toast or 2 biscuits. On Sundays there was always white gravy on the biscuits, it was rarely served through the week, only if Mom had extra time. Mostly the meat was cooked first and the drippings used to cook the eggs, later Mom would start cooking the eggs in margarine to lower the fat. Dad liked his eggs runny so he would soak up the yoke with the bread or biscuits. The white gravy, also called sawmill gravy is a southern tradition. Basically you take the hot grease from the meat, add sifted flour, stir like crazy until it is well mixed then add a little bit or milk stirring until smooth, salt and pepper to taste. You can use water instead of milk, I've been told. Some people wonder how anyone could survive on this diet, but you have to remember that the people who devised this diet, 1. had to survive on what they raised or could afford. Flour is cheap, pigs are cheaper to raise and easier to slaughter than cattle. Chickens are cheap on the whole to raise. So eggs and pork products were ready-to-hand. 2. These people would then go out and do intense physical labor for 10 or 12 hours straight, either sweating in the heat or shivering in the cold. Even the women did not only household chores but also worked in gardens, tended the chickens and gathered eggs. They sweated out the salt, burned up the fat and carbs and survived the cholesteral.
By the way, my father hates brown eggs. Around here they are often called country eggs and believe it or not some people will pay extra for brown eggs. My father grew up on them and thinks they taste too strong. He prefers white eggs. Let me let you in on a big secret.
What determines the color of the egg is the breed of the chicken. Some chicken breed lay white eggs, some brown. Some, like the morans, lay really dark brown eggs. Others like the silky lay eggs that are faintly blue in color. And they all taste the same. What determines the taste of eggs is the diet of the chickens and maybe how active they are. If you let chickens free range and they eat pretty much what ever they find, as my grandmother did, there eggs might have a stronger, gamy flavor. If the hens are fed mostly grain and chicken food, the eggs will taste the same as if you bought them in the grocery store.
Anyway, my new doctor isn't much for low-carb dieting. Basically she is wanting to send me to a dietician. I am resisting so far because I really don't want to get into calorie counting and the like, I know me and too much restriction is not going to work. I have been trying to slowly alter my eating patterns. Trying to eat more whole grain stuff, lots more fruits and veggies, less red meat and meat in general. I also am trying to pull a bit of the low carb in by avoiding starches. I do occasionally indulge in a baked potato, or pasta. My rice is brown, whole grain. My bread is whole wheat. I try to eat frozen or fresh veggies and try to snack only on a bit of fruit. The hardest part to deal with is portion control. Eat less of what you eat. I have had some success, but the weight loss is yet to be seen. Of course I have to implement the second and third part of the plan. Part 2 started last week. I went into a regular eating plan. I have a planned breakfast, with variations on weekends and a planned lunch. Dinner is a bit more wing it. Basically my breakfast consists of a whole wheat bagel and a piece of fruit. I am not a big breakfast eater. I have trouble eating when I first wake, but tend to get really hungry when I have been awake 2 or 3 hours. My doctor says eating breakfast is better as it gets your metabolism going faster and you will burn up more calories. The bagel is portable so I bring it to work and eat it when I first get here followed by an orange or apple. I bring a second fruit in case I want a snack. My office is right across the hall from the break room with it's table of high sugar, high carb snack offerings. On the weekends I will indulge myself a little with boiled eggs or omlets and whole wheat toast. But I tend to either skip lunch or eat a much lighter one. Lunch through the week is either a salad or a can of tuna or chicken with one or two pieces of whole wheat bread. No condiments because they make the bread really soggy if I prepare them before hand and they tend to be high in sodium and carbs. Supper tends to be a serving of meat, heavy on chicken, and some type of vegetables, frozen and either warmed on the stove top or microwaved with a bit of water. Recently it's been really cold so this mix is good for small batches of soup, just cut up the meat and boil then toss in a mix of frozen veggies and let it simmer. Fresh garlic and onions add a little flavor and there is always pepper.
But this got me to thinking about breakfast when I was young. My father was raised on a farm and our early breakfasts were what he was used to. Usually 2 fried eggs, although occasionally scrambled, either 3 or 4 small slices of bacon or 2 sausage patties or a small piece of ham, either buttered toast or 2 biscuits. On Sundays there was always white gravy on the biscuits, it was rarely served through the week, only if Mom had extra time. Mostly the meat was cooked first and the drippings used to cook the eggs, later Mom would start cooking the eggs in margarine to lower the fat. Dad liked his eggs runny so he would soak up the yoke with the bread or biscuits. The white gravy, also called sawmill gravy is a southern tradition. Basically you take the hot grease from the meat, add sifted flour, stir like crazy until it is well mixed then add a little bit or milk stirring until smooth, salt and pepper to taste. You can use water instead of milk, I've been told. Some people wonder how anyone could survive on this diet, but you have to remember that the people who devised this diet, 1. had to survive on what they raised or could afford. Flour is cheap, pigs are cheaper to raise and easier to slaughter than cattle. Chickens are cheap on the whole to raise. So eggs and pork products were ready-to-hand. 2. These people would then go out and do intense physical labor for 10 or 12 hours straight, either sweating in the heat or shivering in the cold. Even the women did not only household chores but also worked in gardens, tended the chickens and gathered eggs. They sweated out the salt, burned up the fat and carbs and survived the cholesteral.
By the way, my father hates brown eggs. Around here they are often called country eggs and believe it or not some people will pay extra for brown eggs. My father grew up on them and thinks they taste too strong. He prefers white eggs. Let me let you in on a big secret.
What determines the color of the egg is the breed of the chicken. Some chicken breed lay white eggs, some brown. Some, like the morans, lay really dark brown eggs. Others like the silky lay eggs that are faintly blue in color. And they all taste the same. What determines the taste of eggs is the diet of the chickens and maybe how active they are. If you let chickens free range and they eat pretty much what ever they find, as my grandmother did, there eggs might have a stronger, gamy flavor. If the hens are fed mostly grain and chicken food, the eggs will taste the same as if you bought them in the grocery store.
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