After Christmas

As an undate, the gift from my inlaws were towels. We each got a bar of scented soap, a large towel, a hand towel, and a washrag. On the plus size they are very soft over-sized towels from J. C. Penney. Mine are green and the wife's are purple. My middle sister-in-law got us each an ornament for the tree we almost never put up. I didn't get sick until after Christmas this year. That's a mixed blessing. I hope I can shake the head cold enough to party at least a little this New Year's Eve.

Liquor.

I am not a big drinker. I don't really like beer. Wine coolers are okay. Smirnoff Ice and Bicardi Breezers are very acceptable. Wine doesn't really do it for me either. Liquor on the other hand. I like some mixed drinks. Rum, Ameretto, and Vodka are my mainstays. I am not that sofisticated of a drunk. Make it sweet and I will probably like it. My old favorites were Pina Colodas, Dakaris, and Sex on the Beach. Later I graduated to Wiskey Sours and Tom Collins. Then my wife intoduced me to Ameretto Sours, which I loved, and Long Island Iced Teas. I also have been fond of Peppermint Snapps. She introduced me to Goldshlager and Afterburner, both of which are cinnamon snapps. She prefers Goldshlager, which I think is a little hotter and stronger, but I preferred the sweeter flavor less hot Afterburner. I recently discovered Mohitos, a minty rum drink and my brother-in-law introduced me to Apple Martini's. These are currently my favorite drinks. I also occasionaly use rum or amaretto instead of vodka in the apple marini's. The rum gives it a little less bite than the vodka. The amaretto makes it a very sweet drink with little alcohol bite. Since the proof on all three liquors is identical, I guess this is perception rather than reality. My wife has taken up with tequilla, especially Jose Quervo. I have tried a fee shots and this stuff has a strong smoky flavor when done with salt and lemon.

Merry Christmas

This is a meandering catch-up post and a rant. Working for the state government is cool this time of year because we get lots of time off. Unfortunately we have exactly the same amount of work to do, just fewer days to do it in. If you count the days off plus the three, count 'em, three, days I've spent in court, I lost 7 full days this month. That's a lot of days to try to make up. Add to that, a few of the really stupid people I work with and it is really a hell of a month.

We had Christmas at my parents on Saturday, because my sister, her husband and the kids were up. Yesterday several people came by and gave us gifts. So far this Christmas bites. Half of her family don't give us squat. I know her oldest brother sent nothing, even though we got him a really nice gift. It's not that he can't afford it, he makes a hell of a lot more than we do and his job includes an apartment and free meals if he wants to eat on the estate. The younger brother is coming up next week and it sounds like he is bringing gifts. The older sister and the youngest didn't bring us anything. My parents gave me a pair of dockers, a sweater, and my wife a Walmart card. They also gave us a $100. My sister gave me 2 shirts and my wife 2 shirts. I picked up a $10 Cracker Barrel gift card and a business card holder at work. We haven't opened the gifts from her parents and the middle sister yet, but it looks like more clothes.

Now, I know I am sounding gift greedy, but the truth of the matter is we don't have a lot of money. I spent a big chunk of my last paycheck and my travel reimbursement check, and part of the $100 from my parents on gifts for these people. For the last 3 years, most of them haven't given us squat, but my wife insists on buying for them anyway. There are six members in my family to buy for. All of them give us something except for the 6 and 2 year old. There are 20 in her family. Of them maybe 5 give us gifts. Anyway, I have about $40 bucks to make it till Friday on so I have to be careful.

Anyhow, we ate Christmas Eve dinner out. Chinese. Nothing like Mongolian pork and Cream Cheese Wontons for Christmas dinner. Wifey is on the outs with her parents, so it is doubtful that we will be doing the Christmas dinner with them today. I am planning on roasting a chicken, doing sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, gravy, carrots and green beans. Maybe that will make her feel better.

New family editions: Okay here is a run down of the current zoo.

Saint Bernards -- Missy and Baker. Roxy passed away in October and I miss my girl.
Chickens -- About 30 mostly Polish, Cochin, and Silkies.
Goats -- Giselle and Angel
Bird -- Sweet Pea the Cockatiel
Snakes -- Leroy and Bertha the Ball Pythons
Cats -- Ninja, Noodlehead, Nana, Nella, and Ladybug, (Cooked Ear the stray Tom counts a half)
Rats -- Veronica, Jane, and Weevil, Plus 9 little buggers with hair and as of yesterday 11 little pink hairless additions. (Apparently we didn't get Weevil out in time and he rebred Jane. There were 16 in the first double litter, but only 9 survived.)
Pekingese -- China, Latest addition She is an older dog we adopted after her owner passed away.

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays whatever you celebrate, don't let the season drag you down, enjoy it.

Crap!!! In more ways than one.....

I didn't make it very far on my fast. I think around 32 hours. Around thirty hours I discovered what explosive, uncontrollable bowel movements are all about. Right in the middle of work. Best discription, very liquid and very bright yellow. I managed to sneak off for an early lunch, go home, and change clothes. Not dignified or fun. I should have researched a little more. If I'm going to do this thing, then I need to have at least a long weekend to get past this stage. I have been careful on what I've eaten since then sticking to salads and lots of water. Bowel movements are not yet back to normal, but I felt really, really good most of yesterday. Today, I woke up feeling like crap. I think I am running a low grade fever. Of course, we are having 3 hours of mandatory training this afternoon, so I am stuck and can't go home.

Happy Holidays, I want a sandwich

Okay, I hate this time of year. Christmas always stresses me and this year is just as bad as last year. Money is tight and my wife thinks she has to buy everyone in her huge family a gift. I have a mother, father, sister, brother-in-law, and 2 nieces. That's 6 people. Seven when you add my wife. She has a mother, father, 4 sisters, 2 brothers, 2 brother-in-laws, 3 nephews, 7 nieces, and me. That's 20 people. Now I realize that this isn't the Christmas spirit, but 4 of my six people will give us gifts. Based on the past, we might get gifts from her parents and her brothers. None of the sisters will get us a thing, they never do. Yet she thinks we have to buy them all something. She is only working 1 day a week, so my overstretched salary has to overstretch again. The only thing that got us through last year, was that my dad gave us money and we used it to buy gifts.

By the way, when did being fat constitute being disabled. You know those little motorized carts, some stores keep for disabled people to drive around in? I was in redneck heaven (Super Walmart) the other day and two unbelievable large people tried to run me down on those. It was a morbidly obese man and woman. Each of them was riding one of the carts, as I doubt that a single cart would have held them both. I am overweight, and not a small person anyway, but either of them was twice my size. Now there may have been something other than fat wrong with them, but there was no indication of such. My personal opinion is that if you are so fat you can't walk through the store to get your food, then maybe Someone is trying to tell you something.

Okay, I went nuts and decided to start something I probably can't finish. It's called the Master Cleansing Fast, or lemonade diet. I have felt like shit for quite a while and I am not having much luck losing weight, so I thought I would kickstart off my new weight loss program with a 10 day fast. Actually, I read up on this and it sounded reasonable, although I don't know if I can make it 10 days without food. Everyone claims that you don't get hungry, but I really like my food. Anyway as of now I have been on it for 5 hours and 2 minutes, my stomach is growling and my head feels weird. First time it has been without caffine in years I imagine. The idea is to detoxify the body, lose a little weight and gain a lot of energy. I will keep anyone reading this posted as to my progress or regress.