Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Yet More Amazing Drama

I have yet another spectacular update in "As the Trailer Park Turns." It seems that my 13-year-old niece played hide the salami twice with the 16-year-old boy. We know this because she was interviewed by a Children's Services worker in a county north of here. When she was interviewed by the local Children's Services worker and claimed her mother's boyfriend had been molesting her, she claimed there were 4 occurances about 1 year ago.

Today she was interviewed by another local Children's Services agent. She was hooked to a polygraph which she failed big time. She was extremely detailed about 2 of the supposed occurances, but extremely vague about the other 2. They couldn't shake her on any of the details of the two and she stuck to her story. Finally someone asked how her previous story compared to her current one. They were identical. Apparently she was substituting her mother's boyfriend's name for the name of the 16-year-old, her sisters for the boy's brothers (who were apparently at the trailer), her mom's living room for the trailer's living room, and her bed room for the boy's bed room. She left all the other details the same. That is how she was able to maintain all the details. When they compared her two statements, they were identical except for the names of people and places. So mom's boy toy is off the hook for child rape.

I don't know what will happen to our little false witness though. The DCS worker told her that she couldn't live with her father. You see he didn't want to work, so he signed up for disability by getting himself committed and claiming mental illness. So as a mentally disabled person, he can't raise a child. Her father's dad is out because he was caught and charged with dui last year with her in the truck as a passenger. So if she don't stay with Mom it is either to the track with the other grandparents or off the foster home. No one else wants to risk getting accused of sexual assault the first time she gets mad at them.

Bump in the Smelly Night

I will explain a few things about myself, before relating a tale of nightly terror. Well, kind of scary anyway. I am a probation and parole officer dealing with felons. I live out in the country and I tend to have a little different reaction to a noise outside my house late at night than someone else might. I am married and my wife occasionally travels with her father. My in-laws were involved in horse racing in the past, my mother-in-law being a retired jockey and my father-in-law is a licensed horse trainer. They hooked up with some horse breeders who run in Kentucky and Indiana and have started back into the business during the session. The racing season is fairly short, only a couple of months out of the year around here, and it starts in July. There is a large horse sale in Ochala Florida in the winter, where a lot of the racehorse breeders sell their stock. My father-in-law took some horses there last year and my wife went with. She was gone about 4 days.

I tend to revert back to my pre-married, carefree paranoid bachelor life when wifey leaves. We have a small zoo, and at this time we were slaves to 3 Saint Bernards, 5 cats, 1 cockatiel, and some fish. The dogs live in a fenced-in back yard with a large house. One of the dogs barks a lot and I ignore her. The male usually barks only when something is wrong, and if the other female barks, terrorists are attacking. I was playing on my computer and listening to the history channel when the male dog went into a barking frenzy. I went to the front room and checked the porch and front yard through the window. There was no one on the porch and no visitors in the driveway. I also went out the front door onto the porch and checked the front yard. I saw nothing unusual. The barking had stopped, so I figured that someone had probably been in the field behind the house or at my uncle’s barn. I returned to my computer. It was around 8:00 PM.

There were three more barking spells in the next 90 minutes and I was a little nervous. Something was upsetting the male dog badly, but not bothering the females. I had been out in the yard with pistol and flashlight without finding anything. I had scanned the field behind the house and my barn without finding anything unusual. I had checked the backyard from the house without seeing anything unusual. I had the mag-light and the hi-power sitting beside my keyboard and the front door deadbolted by 10:00 PM.

It was cold outside, so when the dog started barking again I put on a jacket, picked up my gear and went out the front door. I called the dogs to the fence and the male wouldn’t come to me. He would come to the corner of the house, look back into the back yard, bark, look at me, and run back around the house. I decided that what ever had him in a fit was IN the backyard, but was not visible from a window. I didn’t want to fight the female dogs to get into the gate, so I went through the house and out the back door.

I guess it might help at this point to mention that I worked my way through 5 ½ years of college at a swimming pool company. I spent 11 years with them, 10 in the pool supply store where we sold a lot of chlorine. I also have a lot of sinus problems, so I don’t have a very good sense of smell. I went out onto the back porch to discover the male dog breakdancing. He was rolling around on the ground furiously scraping his noise and head on the ground. He would then get up run into his house, bark viciously, run out and breakdance. Then he would do it over again. I quietly slipped down the steps, and took a long, slow, circuitous path to a point I could peer into the door of the doghouse, but far enough away I hoped to have time to react if something came out at me. I couldn’t imagine what could possibly be in the house that would have him upset, but which the two female dogs would completely ignore.

I disengaged the safety on the hi-power and turned on the mag light shining it into the doghouse. I was glad I had put some distance between the doghouse and me. The doghouse was not fancy, but it was large enough to house the 3 Saints plus a few of their friends. A small, black and white bundle of fur was in the back right corner of the house as I face it. I was confronting a small skunk, possibly half grown. It was spraying the dog every time the dog run in and barked at it. Then, and only then, did I become aware of the strong smell permeating the atmosphere.

I now had a problem. If I shot and missed, I might get sprayed. I also didn’t really want to shoot the little thing as it was only trying to protect itself, but what did I do? The dog would not leave the animal alone. I also had to consider what would happen to the bullet when it went through to skunk, or if I missed. I wasn’t sure I could safely shoot the skunk and not risk putting a hole in my home. I also have to admit that I don’t hunt, and while I love to shoot, I prefer to shoot targets that are not alive. I will shoot an animal if circumstances require it, but prefer to live and let live if possible. I went into the house and retrieved leashes for the dogs. I took the two females to the barn and put them into a stall we customized as a nursery when we were breeding the Saints. I then went back and retrieve the stinky male dog. I had to really drag the stupid dog away from the skunk manor resort. I left the gate open.

The skunk was gone the next morning when I checked, but the smell covered the house and yard. The smell lingered for two weeks in the front yard. The dog actually lost his odor in about a week. The backyard smelled skunky for about a month and the doghouse still has a slightly skunky odor a year and a half later.

Sunday, July 08, 2007

Sex, Lies, Evictions, and Overdrafts

This is a rare thing, but for the 3 people that maybe read this, I am attempting a weekend update. The main reason for this is that I am afraid I will forget something. A lot has happened this weekend and happened fast. You see, I got married and my wife has a family. Is that too much background, or not enough. If you have read back posts, it might be enough.





You see, I have only 1 sister. She is married to a nice guy and there is very little, if any, drama. My wife's family, on the other hand, consists of 2 brothers and three sisters, many of whom live for drama, eat it for breakfast, lunch and dinner, and thrive on it.





My wife's mother is a retired jockey. Her father was a racehorse trainer. They followed the horse racing circuit while she was growing up. Needless to say, it wasn't the most stable of childhoods. This was the way the older three kids grew up, usually moving around, not much money, no friends for very long, sleeping in horse trailers, barns, a ratty RV. The younger three came late in the scheme of things and didn't move much. They pretty much grew up in Florida and Tennessee. Anyway, only one child is left home, the others have their own lives now.





Last summer my in-laws got rebit by the racing bug and decided to head back to the track, starting in Kentucky. That's where my story begins, but first a quick cast or characters.





The heroes:





Me -- your studdly, handsome, kind, intelligent, insane blogger.


Wifey -- my lovely, sexy, overly kind-hearted wife.





The evil villians:





Bossy: Her dad, who has to run everything, and who never does anything wrong, it's always someone elses fault.





The Breeze: Her mom, who is basically a kind soul, but tends to go in the direction of the least chance of conflict, which usually means agreeing with Bossy.





Know It All: Older brother who can be very annoying by thinking he knows everything and telling you exactly what you need to do.





Bitch 1: Older sister who is really good at looking out for number one at any cost. Tends to ignore her offspring or dump them on other people.





Dodge: Her younger brother, who managed to escape much of the drama, as did Know It All.





Bitch 2: Younger sister with a knack for causing or increasing drama and disappearing.





Bitch in Training. Youngest sister who is so lazy it takes three people to see her do anything.





Nephew one: Bitch 2's oldest boy.





Nephew two: Bitch 2's youngest boy.





Goof: Bitch 2's huband.





Trouble 1: Bitch 1's oldest daugher, she's maybe 13.





Trouble 2: Bitch 1's middle child, she's about 10.





Addle Brain: Bitch 1's youngest child, she's about 5. Her father is Craccked Head.





Cracked Head: Bitch 1's second ex-hubby. He took his brain out to play with it one day and lost it.





Dumb Ass: Bitch 1's first ex-hubby. He's an idiot and a jackass. Trouble 1's daddy.





Red Neck: Bitch 1's current man toy.





When my in-laws took off last year, it was only supposed to be for 30 days. It turned into more than 90. They left my wife and I to care for there farm with all the horses they didn't take. Now we live across the county from them, a good twenty minute drive if you push it. Now, with the exception of her brothers and Bitch in Training, the rest or the family was right here, so there really wasn't any reason it all got dumped on us, except that we were the only ones who could be depended on to do it. So twice a day, seven days a week, we drove 40 minutes and took care of the animals. By the time this was over, Bitch 2, Goofy, and the kids were pretty much living there. But these are the kind of people who would actually walk by an empty trough on there way fishing and not bother to fill it. (TRUE EVENT)





My father-in-law only owned out-right, one of the horses he took with him. The rest he was partnered with an idiot in Tennessee on. These were young, untrained horses, who's claimed to fame was bloodline. The bloodlines hadn't raced in at least 3 generations either. They didn't do well. The funny thing about racetracks, you have to pay to stable your horses there. You also have to feed the horses. Now with my mother-in-law and Bitch-in-Training there, he didn't have to pay anyone to clean stalls, walk or ride horses, feed ect., and my Mother-in-Law was making so extra money excersising other people's horses, but he still had the rent, utilities, animal food back home too. He ran out of money. He had two sources of income. His two sons, but the older had loaned him around 4 grand for a horse trailer when this first started, so he turned to the younger, who loaned him $1,000. This is about the time the farm he was renting went up for sale. My wife was stuck between the landlord and her father, who didn't want to talk to the landlord. It nearly drove her nuts dealing with the creditors and landlords.





Well, they made it back to Tennessee, slowly caught up on all the bills, got away from the idiot with the bad horses, hooked up with a guy who both had some better horses, and had some money to pay for training, but didn't bother looking for anyplace else to stay if the farm sold. He seemed to totally ignore the possibility, even thought they are boarding horses for other people. Worse, they are boarding studs for other people. Uncut male horses require special facilities and special handling, because if they get to close to one another, they fight.

Meanwhile my wife's oldest sister is a special kind of person. She has 3 female children, with 3 different men, two of whom she was married to at somepoint during the relationship. She never actually gets rid of any men in her life, but seems to keep a string on them in case she has a dry spell. She is currently divorced, but has a rocky relationship with a semi-psychotic, drug abusing, redneck idiot who sometimes actually maintains a job. They get along well for awhile, then one or the other of them goes psycho and he ends up in jail a few times, they break up, then a month later he moves back in. A real Norman Rockwell portrait.

This sister of my wife has a few good points, she works and works hard. She has helped us a few times, she is just a lot on the self-centered side and makes really horrible choices in men. She might be shopping through my lists of clients for candidates. Her first husband is basically a worthless bum. He will work if you make him, but would rather draw a government check, drink and do drugs. He has been in a little trouble, usually public intoxication, fighting, or bad checks, nothing requiring any real amibition. He still gets every other weekend with his daughter, but she usually stays with his parents, who give there grandchild everything she asks for. Now Bitch 1 has been working in Chattanooga, and has rented her house here out and is staying in Chattanooga.

Husband two is younger than my sister-in-law. He was a trophey husband. I think she wanted everyone to know she could get a younger, attractive man. If this was the case, she should have found someone attractive, and a man. This was a dumb kid. He was annoying, lacked ambition, liked his drugs, hated to work, and was a wonderful role model for the 3 girls. He is now in back in Florida, getting into minor trouble. She managed to help him stay in enough trouble here, that he gets locked up for failing to pay old court costs everytime she gets lonely and goes down south to get him.

Now, my in-laws went back to the track this spring. They are at least partially financed and have better horses. They spent about a month working them out. They left Bitch in Training here to care for the farm with a friend of my Mother-in-Law as backup. The two boarded studs broke through their respective fences to fight. Now BiT wasn't spending much time at home, mostly out hanging with her slutty friend, but fortunately she was home for this, and managed to get them apart and locked in stalls in the barn. This gets back to the in-laws and they asked my wife to check things out. We go over to the farm and BiT is gone. Both stallions are back in their pens. They had knocked boards off their respected fences to get out. The older stud had removed three boards. The boards had been propped up against the posts to form an "X" to keep him in. Someone had held the two loose boards from the younger stud's pen up to the poles and beat on them until about a tenth an inch of the bent nails were back in the poles. The boards fell off when I touched them.

I pulled the old nails out and renailed the boards. As this was old weathered boards, it wasn't easy. Fortunatley we were in the truck and I still had some galvanized nails from building chicken coups at the house in the truck along with a hammer. I was ready to blame this on BiT, but an investigation showed that the family friend, apparently strong on wishful thinking and low on mental capacity had moved the stud's back out after "repairing" the fence.

The straw came when my wife found on several trips that the boarded mare, pregnant, but now with a cute little male foal, had no water. The heat is horrible here with little rain, and the family friend may or may not having been filling the water tub, but BiT wasn't home enough and wouldn't check when she was home, so we took her to Kentucky. They moved another guy in to care for the farm and it was working until the farm sold. We found that out Saturday. They have about 26 days to move, and no plan. They now have 4 boarded horses, two studs and no place to put them. To make matters worse, my father-in-law wants to wing everything. He is depending on my wife to pay bills, check the mail, and deposit checks. He has her get out a printout of his bank account every trip, but ignores her when she tells him what's what. He was overdrawn and she deposited a $1000 which gave him a $400 balance. She told him this, but for some reason he decided he had $1400 in the bank and promptly overdrew again about $500. My mother-in-law got a call on a bounced check and they ended up fighting about it. My father-in-law never does anything wrong, so of course he started trying to blame my wife, who let him have it. This occured first, then we found out about the farm. But before all this we experienced:

Trouble 1 went to stay with her father for the weekend. He and his new wife, girlfriend, what ever, decided to go out. They left the girl with a neighbor, a 21 year old girl. The girl has her 16 year-old brother over. Trouble is around 12 or 13. Everyone goes to bed and leaves the 16-year-old boy and the 13-year-old girl by themselves. They decide to play hide the salami. The girl feels guilty and writes a very detailed note to the woman of the house apologizing for what they did, but instead of leaving it there takes it with her where her mother's boyfriend finds it. In the insueing chaos, it comes out that Dumb Ass and his thing both have hepatitus C, have known for a while, but haven't told anyone and have been letting Trouble 1 use Dumb Ass's toothbrush when she is staying over. Well, Bitch 1 decideds to head to DCS and see if she can get Dumb Ass's visiting priviledges suspended until all this can be sorted out. Once there Trouble 1 tells the case worker that Red Neck has molested her "a long time ago, like a year ago". This girl can't keep her mouth shut about anything. If she knows something, everyone knows it and quick, but she is claiming this guy did this and she kept quiet about it for a year. Also it seems odd that this comes out right when she thinks her father is getting in trouble and the guy she is pointing the finger at is the one that found her little note and started the ball rolling. It doesn't help that the girl has accused people, well Cracked Head, of abusing her (non-sexually) before and it was a crock of shit. Anyway, now there is a big meeting coming up on Tuesday where hopefully the truth will be revealed.

I personally have trouble believing the girl. I don't like Red Neck, but the girl is known to be untruthful, has made false accusations before, generally runs her mouth a lot. Neither of the other two girls claims he has ever touched them, but they are younger and not developing yet. If their is the least chance of this being true, something has to be done. Needless to say, there is uproar.

Thursday, July 05, 2007

Itchy Things

Well, with the advent of warm weather, the time to do outdoorsy things has arrived. Unfortunately for fat guys like me, warm weather didn't show up this year, instead the temperature went from comfortable staight to hotter than blazes with no time at all for warm or even hot. Heavy guys don't need extra heat, we sweat too much anyway. The hot weather does have one benefit though, it killed most of the grass so we didn't have to mow until the other day when it decided to rain about 4 inches in 3 hours. It washed most of my father's garden into my yard too. The few corn stalks that hadn't been burnt within millimeters of ash were drowned, so I guess things evened out.

In clearing the area around the chicken coops and mowing the yard, I managed to get poison ivy on my right leg, where it keeps moving around. I was wearing jeans while working. Then a week later I wore the same jeans, after washing them in hot water and detergent from a major manufactorer, and got poison ivy on the back of my right knee and the front of my left leg. Apparently instead of washing off the vicious oil, I just relocated it on the jeans.

We hosed the area around the one coop with weed killer, and it seems to be working, but the blasted poison oil stays in the dead plants forever, you can get itchy hauling the carcus of the stuff away. I have also picked up several ticks this spring and summer. They are bad here in middle Tennessee. They have been bad for several years. I picked one off my balls last week. You want to talk about something scary to a man!!!!!!!!