We have a local on-line site for classified type adds. I just found the following ad:
Hello,I'm a representivtive for the jerry springer show. Would you like a free trip to chicago all expenses paid? All you have to have is an unuasal storie to tell on national tv.I offer free airfair limo service from the airport reumbersment for gas to the airport and time taken off work.Free food we will take you out on the town on us and give you all the cigarettes you can smoke.The only thing we dont take care of is alchohol. This an offer you wont get by directly calling the show. So come on live allittle get wild with us. Thank you
This strikes me as being suspicious. For one thing they are claiming to represent a nationally syndicated television show, yet they can't write or spell. Being on the internet might excuse not capitalizing Jerry Springer Show and Chicago, but the spacing is bad, there are run on sentences and look at the spelling. They misspell representative, unusual, story, reimbursement, alcohol, won't, don't, a little. How professional does that look? Oh and commas, God gave us commas for a reason, learn to use them. Of course, we are talking about the Springer show. Perhaps professionalism, good grammar, and the Springer show are all mutually exclusive.
Friday, February 29, 2008
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
A Quick Word
In case anyone wonders, things are nuts here. The clients on my case load seemed to have lost what little sense they may have had. There brains fried and they are now running in extra stupid mode. This means MORE work for me. Example. I can't go into too many details yet as we haven't gone to court, but one of my beloved micreants called and rescheduled do to work issues, then he missed the meeting. I called and set a new appointment up. His wife called the night before the appointment and said he was in Nashville at Vanderbilt Hospital with his father who had had a heart attack. Now let me give you a bit of history. This man had worked at the same factory for about 3 years. He had just a month ago changed to a construction job. He claimed he was passed over for a promotion and quit. I was later told, after the missed appointment, by another client that he had been fired for a dirty urine test. He was also supposed to be being evicted for failing to pay rent and lying about his new job. Now someone was verifying the job over the telephone, but it was a cell phone number. I had not seen an actual paystub. Anyway, I would not reschedule his appointment. Not ten minutes later he called and begged me to reschedule claiming he did not want his wife to have to drive to Nashville that night to get him. I stuck to my guns. From the conversation, it was implied that he was in Nashville at Vanderbilt and she was here. When I hung up, I checked my cell phone. They had both called from the same number. He was supposed to be 100 miles from here. Either she was already in Nashville with him, or, more likely, he was here. There was no way they could both call from the same number and not be together. He was here at 8:30 the next morning and his urine was VERY clear, it was also very positive for amphetamines. The lab confirmed amphetamines at a high level and a low specific gravity. In other words, he had taken the speed recently and had spent the night drinking water, or using detox kits, or drinking some of the nasty crap that are supposed to defeat drug screens.
Latest trends in attempting to defeat the drug screens. Drink surejell. That's right, the clear gelatine stuff used to make jams and jellies. Drink it. If you don't like that drink bleach. Yep, if the phosphates and detergents don't kill you, you might not fail the test. Another traditional trick is to scape the white crust off the top of the bottle and wedge it under the fingernails. Then they try to pee across there fingers.
My experience with the bleach is that you usually get a chlorine odor off the urine and the test kit usually doesn't register positive or negative. On surejell, water, or detox kits the urine is usually very clear. If it isn't the middle of the summer and/or the client isn't a farm or construction worker, this is suspicious. Some of the detox kits are smart enough to add a "b" vitamin to color the urine, but the yellow color of this tends to be a very bright yellow that is different than the normal urine color.
Probation officer tricks: examine fingers before test looking for stuff under the fingernails. Calling them in for a drug screen a week earlier than there appointment. Don't let them wash there hands until after the screen is complete. Don't give them the lid for the sample, put it on yourself to notice any chlorine odor (you don't have to sniff it, it is usually strong enough to notice in a small room if you leave the lid off for 3o seconds or so.)
This isn't even counting the sneaking someone else's urine in. So far I have seen pill bottles, balloons, condoms, syringes, baggies full of piss. They usually screw up trying to get it into the cup. They also can rarely keep it warm enough, so the thermometer on the cup should show low.
Latest trends in attempting to defeat the drug screens. Drink surejell. That's right, the clear gelatine stuff used to make jams and jellies. Drink it. If you don't like that drink bleach. Yep, if the phosphates and detergents don't kill you, you might not fail the test. Another traditional trick is to scape the white crust off the top of the bottle and wedge it under the fingernails. Then they try to pee across there fingers.
My experience with the bleach is that you usually get a chlorine odor off the urine and the test kit usually doesn't register positive or negative. On surejell, water, or detox kits the urine is usually very clear. If it isn't the middle of the summer and/or the client isn't a farm or construction worker, this is suspicious. Some of the detox kits are smart enough to add a "b" vitamin to color the urine, but the yellow color of this tends to be a very bright yellow that is different than the normal urine color.
Probation officer tricks: examine fingers before test looking for stuff under the fingernails. Calling them in for a drug screen a week earlier than there appointment. Don't let them wash there hands until after the screen is complete. Don't give them the lid for the sample, put it on yourself to notice any chlorine odor (you don't have to sniff it, it is usually strong enough to notice in a small room if you leave the lid off for 3o seconds or so.)
This isn't even counting the sneaking someone else's urine in. So far I have seen pill bottles, balloons, condoms, syringes, baggies full of piss. They usually screw up trying to get it into the cup. They also can rarely keep it warm enough, so the thermometer on the cup should show low.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
My New Job
Well the bills got to deep to wade through and the money spread to thin to see, so I broke down and took a new part-time job to try to balance things out. I now spend 15 to 20 hours a week on my feet moving constantly. I get money and an exercise program in one.
So I am now not only the sexiest, bald-headed probation officer in Tennessee, I am the sexiest bald-headed, part-time janitor in Tennessee.
I work for a company that contracts out to another company that builds custom dohickey thingees that other companies need real bad. Simple, isn't it. Hear is a basic rundown of my job.
After I finish my main job, I drive across town and through a security check point manned by a retired dude armed with a walkie talkie and a cardboard cup of coffee. I am not sure what would happen if I didn't stop, but I'm sure it would involve cleaning up coffee somewhere. Anywho I have to park and walk up a side walk and into a side door. I have a white plastic card I wave in front of a box with a red light on it. (The light is on the box, not my card.) The light turns green and the door makes a sound like an electronic orgasm and I can go in. I sign a sheet of paper saying I came in a whatever time, the I go into the janitor closet and punch a timeclock. Then the games begin.
First a get my cart and look it over to see what my coworker's have taken off my cart as opposed to taking it off the shelf. I don't have any idea why they do this, as they could take it off the shelf just as easy as off my cart, but it happens. I replace these items, then take the dirty safety glasses off the cart. I left clean ones the night before, but it is easier for them to take mine and leave their dirty ones than to clean them. I take some cleaner and papertowels off my cart and clean the glasses. I put on the glasses and roll the cart out the room and then go back into the room because I forgot my keyring. I always forget my key ring. I also pickup my door wedge and pocket it. Now I close the closet and head across the plant. My first job is to clean two bathrooms. They are in the very back of the largest section of the plant. This involves about a 5 mile walk. If there is anything I need than isn't on my cart, it is a 10 mile round trip hike to get it, so I try to keep the cart stocked. I know that I always need 6 large trash bags. I usually use 3 rolls of paper towels, except on Mondays and Fridays when I need more. I also usually need 4 rolls of toilet paper. This is all stuff I replace. I also use about half a bottle of disinfectant and a third bottle of glass cleaner and about a quarter roll of paper towels. This I actually apply. I also keep 2 containers of pink hand cleaner, 1 container of white hand cleaner with grit, 1 container of lotion, a small selection of feminine supplies, toilet cakes, urinal cakes, small waxed brown trash bags for the stalls in the ladies room. I also have a push broom, regular broom, dust mop, toilet brush, non-acid toilet bowl cleaner, bleach, hydrachloric acid toilet bowl cleaner, a few partial rolls of paper towels, a rocket launcher, a small thermo-nuclear device, a dustpan, and a small scrub brush.
As I traverse the length of the building, I have to dodge forklifts being driven at breakneck speed by total morons. When I reach the end of the building, I turn left and go another half mile or so. There is a 5 foot wide section of floor in front of the two restrooms that is a different color than the rest. It is actually clean and mopped every night. I stop my cart next to the clean strip, take off my push broom and sweep it. I use the dustpan and broom to deposit the trash swept up into the little trash bag on the front of my cart. I then roll the cart onto the strip. I use the disinfectant cleaner on both doors, the water fountain, both trash can tops and the hand sanitizer dispensor. I change the bags in both trash cans, then wedge the men's room door open. I take the broom and pull any trash out into the aisleway. I then take the push broom and sweep it all to the back. Then I replace my brooms and roll the cart into the bathroom. Now I start to really work. I check the lotion dispenser. I've yet to replace this in the men's room, but the woman's room it usually is replaced about once every two weeks.
I divide the men's room into 4 sections. The first contains a large "sink", a stainless tub with a foot petal to turn on the water and a fountain that gives 180 water coverage. It has one pink hand cleaner dispensor the men call supervisor soap, and a pumice containing green soap in a white container that they call goop and all use. It has 3 paper towel dispensors, a lotion dispensor, two trash cans and two mirrors. The order may change a little, but this is the routine. I glove up. I keep 5 pairs of rubber gloves on the cart, size large. I then check the pink soap dispensors, usually having to refill this once weekly. I then check the White dispensor, thumping it as you can't see through it. Usually changed everyother day. It is messy stuff. The pink stuff comes in a little bag that looks like it should be hanging on an IV rack. This stuff comes in a plastic tube. You take off the top and upend it on the pump. I replace what needs it, then clean the drips from the white dispensor off the sink with papertowels. I then check the towel dispensors, usually trying to keep to full rolls. The partial rolls are what I use to clean with, although I usually add the smallest rolls as a second roll in the dispensor, and leave the largest sitting on top a dispenser as an "emergency" roll. The rest go on the cart. I then clean the mirrors, sink and stainless still splash guard with glass cleaner. Our glass cleaner has a neat minty smell. I use the disinfectant on the trash can tops, soap dispensors, and paper towel dispensors wiping everything down. I then replace the trash bags.
The next section contains two urinals that hold a small amount of water in the bottoms. I look to make sure the cakes haven't completely dissolved, then wipe the urinal down with disinfectant. I then spay the stainless splashguards on each side of each stall with glass cleaner and wipe them down. On Fridays I remove the urinal cakes and clean the insides with non-acid toilet bowl cleaner and replace the cleaner. If there are piss stains down the front, I use the chlorine on them. The next section contains three stalls with toilets. I check to make sure each paper dispensor has at least 1 full and 1 half roll. If it drops below a half-roll I replace it. I wipe each toilet seat and top down with disinfectant spray and check the cake. I replace it if it is below half size of a new one. This takes longer than it sounds. If the inside of the toilet is dirty I use either the non-acid or scale removing acid toilet bowl cleaner to clean it. I clean every one on Fridays.
Then back half of the bathroom is an older section. The first section contains another older "sink", a pink soap dispensor, a papertowl dispenser, two urinals in stalls, and a trash can. I usually check the towel dispensor first and wipe it and the top of the trash can down with disinfectant. I change out the trash bag. Next I check and clean the pink soap dispensor. Then I disinfect and clean the urinals. These don't hold water in the bottom. I then have 6 more stalls with toilets that I have to follow the above routine for. I finish by sweeping up the trash and putting it in my bag. Men are pigs. There is usually a two foot tall pile of papertowels, toilet paper, newspaper and god-knows-what to sweep up. Most of the toilets have sensors to automatically flush when they get up. They hang toilet paper over these and walk off leaving there mess in the toilets. I have to sometimes manually flush these things four of five times and sometimes even plunge them, Nasty!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have even found the cakes laying in the middle of the floor. What the f..........?
Next I move to the ladies room. It is simpler and often seems rarely used. I knock on the door, open it, and call out loudly. I then wedge the door open. I don't bring my cart in. I divide this into two sections. Section one has a garbage can, a pink soap dispensor, a lotion dispensor, two paper towel dispensors, a feminine product dispensor two regular sinks, and two mirrors. The second section has 6 stalls with toilets. I check the towel dispensors first. I usually only have to restock 1 once per week. Next I check the feminine supplies. Then I check the lotion and soap, maybe replace these once ever 14 days. I then clean the mirror with glass cleaner and use disinfectant on the sinks, trash can tops, and dispensors. I change the trash bags. I sweep all the trash out to the aisle, but there is rarely much, not like the mens. Since this floor is tile rather than concrete, I use the dustmop instead of pushbroom to sweep the aisle. Then I do the toilets, which is the same as the men's room except that there is not where near the mess and there are these little boxes in the stalls which I have to check. The boxes contain these little brown waxed bags where women can deposit eeerrr, trash. If there is anything deposited, I exchange the bag for a fresh one. Then I close up the restroom and gather my filled trash bags and carry them out. I have to walk about 2 miles to the dumpster outside. I also have to be careful or I get locked out and have to circle the building to get back in.
Once I return, I complete my journey with another forklift endangered 5 mile hike. I restock my cart so my coworkers can rob it, and continue to the last 2/3's of my job. I leave the closet and go back to the plant. I make a left and then another left. I enter a door and follow a hallway maknig a right when I have no other choice. I come out in a room about the size of an indoor arena football field. It also looks like an arena football field providing the field is covered with grey commercial low-pile indoor/outdoor carpet and black felt rubber backed mats. Also providing the field has cubicals with 5 foot tall partions and is ringed by offices. I follow one perimeter path straight ahead and open a closet on the right. I remove a 100 foot extension cord, a Orek Commercial XL vacuum and proceed to VACUUM THE FOOTBALL FIELD. I also have to vacuum three hallways, all the perimeter offices, two alcoves and a smaller building. I have a question. In the high traffic areas, they have laid down black mats which have a heavy rubber backing, but the pile is black and felt like. It shows everything and is very hard to vacuum. Why black? Why not dirt brown or medium green or something? Why black? I have a smaller there is a small conference room to vacuum. The next building has four hallways, two alcoves, five offices and a stairway landing to vacuum as well as a conference room downstairs. Then there is a small landing with a black mat. Upstairs is a small room with cubicles and two black mats, and three more offices. It takes about an hour to do the bathrooms on an average day. Add 30 minutes to that on a bad day. The main room and peripreals take about 90 minutes unless it is bad then add 14-20 minutes. The little building takes from 20 to 40 minutes depending. It's not that bad. I am beginning to adjust to it. I just miss playing on the internet and watching some nighttime TV.
So I am now not only the sexiest, bald-headed probation officer in Tennessee, I am the sexiest bald-headed, part-time janitor in Tennessee.
I work for a company that contracts out to another company that builds custom dohickey thingees that other companies need real bad. Simple, isn't it. Hear is a basic rundown of my job.
After I finish my main job, I drive across town and through a security check point manned by a retired dude armed with a walkie talkie and a cardboard cup of coffee. I am not sure what would happen if I didn't stop, but I'm sure it would involve cleaning up coffee somewhere. Anywho I have to park and walk up a side walk and into a side door. I have a white plastic card I wave in front of a box with a red light on it. (The light is on the box, not my card.) The light turns green and the door makes a sound like an electronic orgasm and I can go in. I sign a sheet of paper saying I came in a whatever time, the I go into the janitor closet and punch a timeclock. Then the games begin.
First a get my cart and look it over to see what my coworker's have taken off my cart as opposed to taking it off the shelf. I don't have any idea why they do this, as they could take it off the shelf just as easy as off my cart, but it happens. I replace these items, then take the dirty safety glasses off the cart. I left clean ones the night before, but it is easier for them to take mine and leave their dirty ones than to clean them. I take some cleaner and papertowels off my cart and clean the glasses. I put on the glasses and roll the cart out the room and then go back into the room because I forgot my keyring. I always forget my key ring. I also pickup my door wedge and pocket it. Now I close the closet and head across the plant. My first job is to clean two bathrooms. They are in the very back of the largest section of the plant. This involves about a 5 mile walk. If there is anything I need than isn't on my cart, it is a 10 mile round trip hike to get it, so I try to keep the cart stocked. I know that I always need 6 large trash bags. I usually use 3 rolls of paper towels, except on Mondays and Fridays when I need more. I also usually need 4 rolls of toilet paper. This is all stuff I replace. I also use about half a bottle of disinfectant and a third bottle of glass cleaner and about a quarter roll of paper towels. This I actually apply. I also keep 2 containers of pink hand cleaner, 1 container of white hand cleaner with grit, 1 container of lotion, a small selection of feminine supplies, toilet cakes, urinal cakes, small waxed brown trash bags for the stalls in the ladies room. I also have a push broom, regular broom, dust mop, toilet brush, non-acid toilet bowl cleaner, bleach, hydrachloric acid toilet bowl cleaner, a few partial rolls of paper towels, a rocket launcher, a small thermo-nuclear device, a dustpan, and a small scrub brush.
As I traverse the length of the building, I have to dodge forklifts being driven at breakneck speed by total morons. When I reach the end of the building, I turn left and go another half mile or so. There is a 5 foot wide section of floor in front of the two restrooms that is a different color than the rest. It is actually clean and mopped every night. I stop my cart next to the clean strip, take off my push broom and sweep it. I use the dustpan and broom to deposit the trash swept up into the little trash bag on the front of my cart. I then roll the cart onto the strip. I use the disinfectant cleaner on both doors, the water fountain, both trash can tops and the hand sanitizer dispensor. I change the bags in both trash cans, then wedge the men's room door open. I take the broom and pull any trash out into the aisleway. I then take the push broom and sweep it all to the back. Then I replace my brooms and roll the cart into the bathroom. Now I start to really work. I check the lotion dispenser. I've yet to replace this in the men's room, but the woman's room it usually is replaced about once every two weeks.
I divide the men's room into 4 sections. The first contains a large "sink", a stainless tub with a foot petal to turn on the water and a fountain that gives 180 water coverage. It has one pink hand cleaner dispensor the men call supervisor soap, and a pumice containing green soap in a white container that they call goop and all use. It has 3 paper towel dispensors, a lotion dispensor, two trash cans and two mirrors. The order may change a little, but this is the routine. I glove up. I keep 5 pairs of rubber gloves on the cart, size large. I then check the pink soap dispensors, usually having to refill this once weekly. I then check the White dispensor, thumping it as you can't see through it. Usually changed everyother day. It is messy stuff. The pink stuff comes in a little bag that looks like it should be hanging on an IV rack. This stuff comes in a plastic tube. You take off the top and upend it on the pump. I replace what needs it, then clean the drips from the white dispensor off the sink with papertowels. I then check the towel dispensors, usually trying to keep to full rolls. The partial rolls are what I use to clean with, although I usually add the smallest rolls as a second roll in the dispensor, and leave the largest sitting on top a dispenser as an "emergency" roll. The rest go on the cart. I then clean the mirrors, sink and stainless still splash guard with glass cleaner. Our glass cleaner has a neat minty smell. I use the disinfectant on the trash can tops, soap dispensors, and paper towel dispensors wiping everything down. I then replace the trash bags.
The next section contains two urinals that hold a small amount of water in the bottoms. I look to make sure the cakes haven't completely dissolved, then wipe the urinal down with disinfectant. I then spay the stainless splashguards on each side of each stall with glass cleaner and wipe them down. On Fridays I remove the urinal cakes and clean the insides with non-acid toilet bowl cleaner and replace the cleaner. If there are piss stains down the front, I use the chlorine on them. The next section contains three stalls with toilets. I check to make sure each paper dispensor has at least 1 full and 1 half roll. If it drops below a half-roll I replace it. I wipe each toilet seat and top down with disinfectant spray and check the cake. I replace it if it is below half size of a new one. This takes longer than it sounds. If the inside of the toilet is dirty I use either the non-acid or scale removing acid toilet bowl cleaner to clean it. I clean every one on Fridays.
Then back half of the bathroom is an older section. The first section contains another older "sink", a pink soap dispensor, a papertowl dispenser, two urinals in stalls, and a trash can. I usually check the towel dispensor first and wipe it and the top of the trash can down with disinfectant. I change out the trash bag. Next I check and clean the pink soap dispensor. Then I disinfect and clean the urinals. These don't hold water in the bottom. I then have 6 more stalls with toilets that I have to follow the above routine for. I finish by sweeping up the trash and putting it in my bag. Men are pigs. There is usually a two foot tall pile of papertowels, toilet paper, newspaper and god-knows-what to sweep up. Most of the toilets have sensors to automatically flush when they get up. They hang toilet paper over these and walk off leaving there mess in the toilets. I have to sometimes manually flush these things four of five times and sometimes even plunge them, Nasty!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have even found the cakes laying in the middle of the floor. What the f..........?
Next I move to the ladies room. It is simpler and often seems rarely used. I knock on the door, open it, and call out loudly. I then wedge the door open. I don't bring my cart in. I divide this into two sections. Section one has a garbage can, a pink soap dispensor, a lotion dispensor, two paper towel dispensors, a feminine product dispensor two regular sinks, and two mirrors. The second section has 6 stalls with toilets. I check the towel dispensors first. I usually only have to restock 1 once per week. Next I check the feminine supplies. Then I check the lotion and soap, maybe replace these once ever 14 days. I then clean the mirror with glass cleaner and use disinfectant on the sinks, trash can tops, and dispensors. I change the trash bags. I sweep all the trash out to the aisle, but there is rarely much, not like the mens. Since this floor is tile rather than concrete, I use the dustmop instead of pushbroom to sweep the aisle. Then I do the toilets, which is the same as the men's room except that there is not where near the mess and there are these little boxes in the stalls which I have to check. The boxes contain these little brown waxed bags where women can deposit eeerrr, trash. If there is anything deposited, I exchange the bag for a fresh one. Then I close up the restroom and gather my filled trash bags and carry them out. I have to walk about 2 miles to the dumpster outside. I also have to be careful or I get locked out and have to circle the building to get back in.
Once I return, I complete my journey with another forklift endangered 5 mile hike. I restock my cart so my coworkers can rob it, and continue to the last 2/3's of my job. I leave the closet and go back to the plant. I make a left and then another left. I enter a door and follow a hallway maknig a right when I have no other choice. I come out in a room about the size of an indoor arena football field. It also looks like an arena football field providing the field is covered with grey commercial low-pile indoor/outdoor carpet and black felt rubber backed mats. Also providing the field has cubicals with 5 foot tall partions and is ringed by offices. I follow one perimeter path straight ahead and open a closet on the right. I remove a 100 foot extension cord, a Orek Commercial XL vacuum and proceed to VACUUM THE FOOTBALL FIELD. I also have to vacuum three hallways, all the perimeter offices, two alcoves and a smaller building. I have a question. In the high traffic areas, they have laid down black mats which have a heavy rubber backing, but the pile is black and felt like. It shows everything and is very hard to vacuum. Why black? Why not dirt brown or medium green or something? Why black? I have a smaller there is a small conference room to vacuum. The next building has four hallways, two alcoves, five offices and a stairway landing to vacuum as well as a conference room downstairs. Then there is a small landing with a black mat. Upstairs is a small room with cubicles and two black mats, and three more offices. It takes about an hour to do the bathrooms on an average day. Add 30 minutes to that on a bad day. The main room and peripreals take about 90 minutes unless it is bad then add 14-20 minutes. The little building takes from 20 to 40 minutes depending. It's not that bad. I am beginning to adjust to it. I just miss playing on the internet and watching some nighttime TV.
Friday, February 01, 2008
Stupid Jobs I Have Held
I recently started a second job to bring in a bit of extra money. I want to get some bills paid off so I can sleep better at night and slow the advance of my ulcer. This will also hopefully let my wife get back into school and maybe she can get a better job and I can quit this part-time thing. Actually, other than missing night time tv and time with my wife, the job isn't that bad. It keeps me moving for 3 to 4 hours constantly, so it helps with the diet, and it doesn't require a huge amount of my brain, so I can think up crap to blog about. Like this entry.
Before and shortly after getting my license, I supplied underage illegal child labor to the local farmers, hauling hay, cutting, spiking, hauling and hanging tobacco, cleaning fence rows and ditches, all the stuff now done by illegal immigrant labor.
Now there are three jobs I think everyone should be required to have in life, and I think it should be a law. First everyone should have to do at least 6 months in a newly opened fast food chain restaurant. Second, everyone should have to do at least 1 year working as a retail clerk, not in one of the big box stores, but in a little store where you have to keep the customers happy, or the whole place goes under. Third, they should have to spend at least 4 months in customer service, preferably over the phone for at least 50% of the time.
My first real job was at a brand new McDonald's. I was in high school. This job taught me many valuable work lessons. First, orientation tapes are boring. Second, never believe the training programs or company propaganda. Third, store managers are not born, made, or trained, but are instead spawned in hell and shit out by demons of low intelligence. Third, promotions go to the best at kissing ass, not at actually working. You see, if you are good at your job and work hard, you get left at the job, because they can't replace you. If you suck at your job and screw stuff up, you get to be crew or shift leader, because it kind of keeps you out of the way and there is less you can fuck up. If you brown-nose enough, they might even make you manager. Of course, if you piss off the people actually working enough and enough of them quit, you might even get sent to the management training school.
Now this was a long time ago, and McDonald's had a much smaller menu. Basically, McNuggets were new. Micky D's had hamburgers, cheeseburgers, quarterpounders, Big Macs, McNuggets, Fillet O'Fish, and apple pies. The kitchen was divided into areas. There were 2 grills, one for regular patties and 1 for the larger quarter pounder patties. You had 4 deep friers, one for fries, which the register people ran, one for nuggets, one for fish, and one for apple pies. The friers were on the opposite wall from the grills. The middle was taken up with a dressing table and bun warmers. The idea was that one person would run the quarter grill, and toast and dress his own buns. No, damn it!!! You know what I mean, get your mind out of the gutter you perv. Another guy would run the grill for the regular patties. Another person would toast the buns for the burgers and big macs. He and the grill guy would dress them. A separate individual would run the friers. Now what actually happened was the guy running the bun toaster would also run the friers. There was also a steamer to steam the buns for the fish sandwiches that he also got to run. Both grills were run by the one guy too, so this operation designed for 4 people would be staffed by two. That wasn't how you were trained, though, you were trained with 4 people. You were shown films on all four stations, but trained on only one. Then you had to run stuff you were never actually trained to do. Anyway, the first week our store actually opened, two of us were run ragged when a bus stopped and let 5 thousand kids loose to trash the place. We were slinging burgers, dropping nuggets, burning buns, and generally going insane. The assistant manager was barking out orders left and right, but not actually helping with anything. Then, while dressing buns for burgers I got dressed down for committing a most heinous offense against the Great Ronald. I put the ketchup on the buns BEFORE I put the mustard. Never mind that the other guy had the mustard gun doing the quarter buns, I did the unforgivable. Now, why in the hell the idiot supposedly running the show would stop everything to bitch me out for doing something that didn't make a bit of difference, I don't know. I was young and new to the work place, I learned to work on the farm. There all that mattered was that the job was done and what the end result was. No one cared whether I cut the tobacco stalk from the left or the right, or whether I hung the stick of tobacco from the left first or the right. I don't know of a single customer returning a hamburger or cheeseburger that day because the ketchup went on before the mustard, but you would have thought I gang raped the govenor's daughter or something from the bitch cussing I got. Having mellowed as I have aged I know now 27 different ways to have choked the chicken-necked bastard unconsious, so it probably is as well that this happened before I met Foster Sensei and learned jujitsu, or I wouldn't have my present job due to the assault charges.
Anyway, I quit that job a few months later. My next formal job was as a bus boy at Shoneys. I didn't do well there. I lasted 2 weeks before a dishwasher who didn't think I was bussing fast enough came out of the kitchen, caught me bussing a booth and shoved me into the booth and gave me a little kick in the rear. I announced my displeasure by dropping a full tub of dishes in the middle of the kitchen, telling them what tender part of my anatomy they could press their lips against, and leaving. I never even clocked out. They mailed me that last check.
I worked at a couple of gas stations, was a third shift convienence store clerk, did a swing shift assistant managers gig, before settling down as an office manager. All while going to college. I ended up as the office manager for a swimming pool builder. I was also the sales clerk and customer service department for the swimming pool and spa supply store. I did everything from sweep and mop the floor to ordering inventory and driving the delivery van. Hell, if the construction crew was short handed, I rolled a wheel barrel or used a shovel. I also went on runs with the service trucks to do repairs. In a pinch, I could install a pump, filter, replace a light and do light plumbing and electric. One of the high points of my job was explaining to new pool owners how to operate the pool equipment over the phone. I walked people through vacuuming the pools, backwashing the filters, empting pump and skimmer baskets, ect. all from miles away. This taught me patience. I was also the sales clerk and chief pool water analyzer. So I dealt with the public. I met the rich and the famous. I met the guy who was sure I was over charging him. I met the woman who was sure I should throw in something free since she was such a good customer. I met the people who wanted to return stuff after they had used it for a season and broke it. I met guys who wanted me to tell them exactly what they needed so they could buy it somewhere else cheaper. I especially met the people who wanted me to test their water and tell them how to clear up their nasty pool using the chemicals they had bought somewhere else, and not charge for my information. Yes the world is full of charming people, and you have to be nice to them if you make your money selling them stuff. You have to be nice to the stuck up lady whose 9 year-old brat just whipped his little weiner out and pissed on your freshly mopped floor. You have to be nice to the person who just chewed you out because you can't sell him a part for a 10-year-old pool pump that was discontinued 6 years ago. I think if everyone got to meet these people, then they would behave differently in a store. I know I try to be polite to sales clerks and treat them like real people. This taught me that I could survive not choking the living shit out of rude people and to be nice to people who work for a living. I was here for over 11 years.
I worked my way up to the general manager over 3 retail stores. I then quit and started selling life insurance where I learned that I am not really very good at scaring the hell out of old people by convincing them they are going to die soon leaving their kids and grandkids orphaned and homeless unless they buy more life insurance. I quit after learned a couple of lessons about myself and what I am and am not willing to do.
I then went to work for a rent-to-own company. This company was mob owned. I base this on a few facts. The company was based in New York. The owner was a former police officer who had left the force under mysterious circumstances. Everyone in a position of authority in the company had an Italian last name. The ones that come to visit the store all looked and dressed like extra's from the Sopranos. This was a class act, too. They had a computerized billing and rental system. The program was written by one of the owner's friends. It was written in basic on a trs 80 computer in 1984 and never updated. The damn computer in the store didn't even have windows 98 installed. When it screwed up, we contacted IT and they UPS'ed us a 5 1/4 inch floppy boot disk. And they were proud of this. They also bragged about being mentioned in Fortune 500 magazine. They mentioned this several times in the interview. I never found out what Fortune 500 said about them. I should have. I bet instead of saying something like "this is an up-and-coming company, invest in them, they are going places" it actually said something on the lines of, "avoid this load of shit like the plague. They are going to crash and burn. They are sinking faster than a lawn gnome wearing Jimmy Hoffa brand concrete sneakers in a swimming pool." Anyway, the job was depressing and the company sucked.
Rent-to-own tends to appeal to people with no other options. There are no government regulations governing this part of the retail industry and rent-to-own exists for everything from jewelry up to houses. You see, if you buy a bedroom set on credit, there is a limit to how much interest the lender can charge you. Buy the same set at a rent-to-own establishment and there is no limit to what you pay, because it isn't interest, it is rent.
The place I worked offered weekly and monthly payment options. The way it worked was like this. Let's say you can go down to Big Box Inc. and buy a 20 inch television for $200. The rent to own store might carry the same or similar television. Their cash price for straight out purchase was $300. They would then double that. This would be the final price if the person carried it to full term. So that 20 inch television would end up costing $600 if the people rented it for the full rental term. Say the longest term was 1 year. The people would pay $50 per month or $11.54 per week in rental fees to use the television while paying for it. So basically, the company charged too much for the television to begin with, then charged what would amount to 100% interest on it. If you kept the television for 6 months then decided to buy it, you would get some credit. You had paid $300 already to there was $300 left on it. Half that would be $150 so the $200 television would just cost you $450. If the television was returned, then it would be restocked as used. We would knock 10% off the price. It would now be listed as used and a cash price of $270. The final payout was $540. Weekly rental was $10.38 and monthly $45. We lost our shirts for several reasons. First, the merchandise, at least the furniture, was low quality. Second, we had a very non-southern corporate atmosphere and it didn't mesh with the poor southern people who were our customers. Third, we were ordered to encourage customers to over extend. If Joe came in for a fridge, we were encouraged to sell him on an entertainment center. Third, if you knew Jack made $150 a week, and was already paying $50 per week on a stove and $20 a week on a dvd player, it was nuts to incourage him to buy a television, you were already getting almost half his paycheck weekly, what was he going to live on. We would just end up going out to repo the stuff and make him mad. It would have made better long term sense to let him pay off what he had now before trying to sell him up. Fourth, they picked a sorry location. The parking lot was tiny. It was on a hill in the middle of the old part of town where everything was dying. It was very hard to get in and out of. Fifth, another new rent-to-own company had just popped up in the Wal-mart shopping center. It was bigger, flashier, paid better, and had better prices. It also opened two months before we did. Both companies are now gone so I don't guess it matters much. I worked my ass off for them, though. I ended up running my store for a month when the manager defected, before his replacement showed up. I also opened up three other stores for them and trained their store people. They never offered to make me a manager though. It never occured to them, of course they wanted their managers straight out of college and starving. They also liked to relocate them at least 500 miles from home. They thought this gave them a reason to make to stores succeed. I worked for them for about 9 months under 4 different managers.
I went IT and went to work for a bank information processing company. I did a swing shift between second and third shifts. I enjoyed this job and stayed with it 6 years. If the job hadn't changed and the company hadn't changed, I might still be there. This was my first ever job with actual benefits. This was my latest bout with clueless management though.
My worst experience would still have to be the medical technical school I taught basic education courses and computer courses for. I worked there a little over a year. They hired me to teach from 8:00 AM to 5:00 PM with an hour lunch. I was promised many things. Then the managment changed and they started demanding I teach night classes. They also insisted I be on campus the 8 to 5 then teach from 6 to 10 PM if they needed me. For no extra money. I also had to help recruit students. This usually meant open houses and special events at night and on weekends, for no extra money. And heaven forbid if you actually gave a student a bad grade and they complained!!! We were training these people to work in Doctors' offices and hospitals, but some of them couldn't read a complete sentence in English, much less write one. And no, they weren't hispanic. Just Southern people who got government assistance to go to school, so they wouldn't have to live off welfare. Yet, if you demanded they actually learn something, they would complain and management would come down on YOU. Now there were some good students that I really liked, but there were a lot that were just in school because it was paid for and they got free babysitting.
I quit and went to work for a company that made custom bathtubs. That lasted about a month and I was hired by the state. The company had no benefits and I was working 10 hour shifts in an unairconditioned fiberglass plant. I was too old for that shit.
Here I am now. I am rather happy. I now have a second job. I will blog about the new job next round and give you a thrilling, detailed, graphic description of the new job. Sex, violence, and rock and roll up next episode.
Before and shortly after getting my license, I supplied underage illegal child labor to the local farmers, hauling hay, cutting, spiking, hauling and hanging tobacco, cleaning fence rows and ditches, all the stuff now done by illegal immigrant labor.
Now there are three jobs I think everyone should be required to have in life, and I think it should be a law. First everyone should have to do at least 6 months in a newly opened fast food chain restaurant. Second, everyone should have to do at least 1 year working as a retail clerk, not in one of the big box stores, but in a little store where you have to keep the customers happy, or the whole place goes under. Third, they should have to spend at least 4 months in customer service, preferably over the phone for at least 50% of the time.
My first real job was at a brand new McDonald's. I was in high school. This job taught me many valuable work lessons. First, orientation tapes are boring. Second, never believe the training programs or company propaganda. Third, store managers are not born, made, or trained, but are instead spawned in hell and shit out by demons of low intelligence. Third, promotions go to the best at kissing ass, not at actually working. You see, if you are good at your job and work hard, you get left at the job, because they can't replace you. If you suck at your job and screw stuff up, you get to be crew or shift leader, because it kind of keeps you out of the way and there is less you can fuck up. If you brown-nose enough, they might even make you manager. Of course, if you piss off the people actually working enough and enough of them quit, you might even get sent to the management training school.
Now this was a long time ago, and McDonald's had a much smaller menu. Basically, McNuggets were new. Micky D's had hamburgers, cheeseburgers, quarterpounders, Big Macs, McNuggets, Fillet O'Fish, and apple pies. The kitchen was divided into areas. There were 2 grills, one for regular patties and 1 for the larger quarter pounder patties. You had 4 deep friers, one for fries, which the register people ran, one for nuggets, one for fish, and one for apple pies. The friers were on the opposite wall from the grills. The middle was taken up with a dressing table and bun warmers. The idea was that one person would run the quarter grill, and toast and dress his own buns. No, damn it!!! You know what I mean, get your mind out of the gutter you perv. Another guy would run the grill for the regular patties. Another person would toast the buns for the burgers and big macs. He and the grill guy would dress them. A separate individual would run the friers. Now what actually happened was the guy running the bun toaster would also run the friers. There was also a steamer to steam the buns for the fish sandwiches that he also got to run. Both grills were run by the one guy too, so this operation designed for 4 people would be staffed by two. That wasn't how you were trained, though, you were trained with 4 people. You were shown films on all four stations, but trained on only one. Then you had to run stuff you were never actually trained to do. Anyway, the first week our store actually opened, two of us were run ragged when a bus stopped and let 5 thousand kids loose to trash the place. We were slinging burgers, dropping nuggets, burning buns, and generally going insane. The assistant manager was barking out orders left and right, but not actually helping with anything. Then, while dressing buns for burgers I got dressed down for committing a most heinous offense against the Great Ronald. I put the ketchup on the buns BEFORE I put the mustard. Never mind that the other guy had the mustard gun doing the quarter buns, I did the unforgivable. Now, why in the hell the idiot supposedly running the show would stop everything to bitch me out for doing something that didn't make a bit of difference, I don't know. I was young and new to the work place, I learned to work on the farm. There all that mattered was that the job was done and what the end result was. No one cared whether I cut the tobacco stalk from the left or the right, or whether I hung the stick of tobacco from the left first or the right. I don't know of a single customer returning a hamburger or cheeseburger that day because the ketchup went on before the mustard, but you would have thought I gang raped the govenor's daughter or something from the bitch cussing I got. Having mellowed as I have aged I know now 27 different ways to have choked the chicken-necked bastard unconsious, so it probably is as well that this happened before I met Foster Sensei and learned jujitsu, or I wouldn't have my present job due to the assault charges.
Anyway, I quit that job a few months later. My next formal job was as a bus boy at Shoneys. I didn't do well there. I lasted 2 weeks before a dishwasher who didn't think I was bussing fast enough came out of the kitchen, caught me bussing a booth and shoved me into the booth and gave me a little kick in the rear. I announced my displeasure by dropping a full tub of dishes in the middle of the kitchen, telling them what tender part of my anatomy they could press their lips against, and leaving. I never even clocked out. They mailed me that last check.
I worked at a couple of gas stations, was a third shift convienence store clerk, did a swing shift assistant managers gig, before settling down as an office manager. All while going to college. I ended up as the office manager for a swimming pool builder. I was also the sales clerk and customer service department for the swimming pool and spa supply store. I did everything from sweep and mop the floor to ordering inventory and driving the delivery van. Hell, if the construction crew was short handed, I rolled a wheel barrel or used a shovel. I also went on runs with the service trucks to do repairs. In a pinch, I could install a pump, filter, replace a light and do light plumbing and electric. One of the high points of my job was explaining to new pool owners how to operate the pool equipment over the phone. I walked people through vacuuming the pools, backwashing the filters, empting pump and skimmer baskets, ect. all from miles away. This taught me patience. I was also the sales clerk and chief pool water analyzer. So I dealt with the public. I met the rich and the famous. I met the guy who was sure I was over charging him. I met the woman who was sure I should throw in something free since she was such a good customer. I met the people who wanted to return stuff after they had used it for a season and broke it. I met guys who wanted me to tell them exactly what they needed so they could buy it somewhere else cheaper. I especially met the people who wanted me to test their water and tell them how to clear up their nasty pool using the chemicals they had bought somewhere else, and not charge for my information. Yes the world is full of charming people, and you have to be nice to them if you make your money selling them stuff. You have to be nice to the stuck up lady whose 9 year-old brat just whipped his little weiner out and pissed on your freshly mopped floor. You have to be nice to the person who just chewed you out because you can't sell him a part for a 10-year-old pool pump that was discontinued 6 years ago. I think if everyone got to meet these people, then they would behave differently in a store. I know I try to be polite to sales clerks and treat them like real people. This taught me that I could survive not choking the living shit out of rude people and to be nice to people who work for a living. I was here for over 11 years.
I worked my way up to the general manager over 3 retail stores. I then quit and started selling life insurance where I learned that I am not really very good at scaring the hell out of old people by convincing them they are going to die soon leaving their kids and grandkids orphaned and homeless unless they buy more life insurance. I quit after learned a couple of lessons about myself and what I am and am not willing to do.
I then went to work for a rent-to-own company. This company was mob owned. I base this on a few facts. The company was based in New York. The owner was a former police officer who had left the force under mysterious circumstances. Everyone in a position of authority in the company had an Italian last name. The ones that come to visit the store all looked and dressed like extra's from the Sopranos. This was a class act, too. They had a computerized billing and rental system. The program was written by one of the owner's friends. It was written in basic on a trs 80 computer in 1984 and never updated. The damn computer in the store didn't even have windows 98 installed. When it screwed up, we contacted IT and they UPS'ed us a 5 1/4 inch floppy boot disk. And they were proud of this. They also bragged about being mentioned in Fortune 500 magazine. They mentioned this several times in the interview. I never found out what Fortune 500 said about them. I should have. I bet instead of saying something like "this is an up-and-coming company, invest in them, they are going places" it actually said something on the lines of, "avoid this load of shit like the plague. They are going to crash and burn. They are sinking faster than a lawn gnome wearing Jimmy Hoffa brand concrete sneakers in a swimming pool." Anyway, the job was depressing and the company sucked.
Rent-to-own tends to appeal to people with no other options. There are no government regulations governing this part of the retail industry and rent-to-own exists for everything from jewelry up to houses. You see, if you buy a bedroom set on credit, there is a limit to how much interest the lender can charge you. Buy the same set at a rent-to-own establishment and there is no limit to what you pay, because it isn't interest, it is rent.
The place I worked offered weekly and monthly payment options. The way it worked was like this. Let's say you can go down to Big Box Inc. and buy a 20 inch television for $200. The rent to own store might carry the same or similar television. Their cash price for straight out purchase was $300. They would then double that. This would be the final price if the person carried it to full term. So that 20 inch television would end up costing $600 if the people rented it for the full rental term. Say the longest term was 1 year. The people would pay $50 per month or $11.54 per week in rental fees to use the television while paying for it. So basically, the company charged too much for the television to begin with, then charged what would amount to 100% interest on it. If you kept the television for 6 months then decided to buy it, you would get some credit. You had paid $300 already to there was $300 left on it. Half that would be $150 so the $200 television would just cost you $450. If the television was returned, then it would be restocked as used. We would knock 10% off the price. It would now be listed as used and a cash price of $270. The final payout was $540. Weekly rental was $10.38 and monthly $45. We lost our shirts for several reasons. First, the merchandise, at least the furniture, was low quality. Second, we had a very non-southern corporate atmosphere and it didn't mesh with the poor southern people who were our customers. Third, we were ordered to encourage customers to over extend. If Joe came in for a fridge, we were encouraged to sell him on an entertainment center. Third, if you knew Jack made $150 a week, and was already paying $50 per week on a stove and $20 a week on a dvd player, it was nuts to incourage him to buy a television, you were already getting almost half his paycheck weekly, what was he going to live on. We would just end up going out to repo the stuff and make him mad. It would have made better long term sense to let him pay off what he had now before trying to sell him up. Fourth, they picked a sorry location. The parking lot was tiny. It was on a hill in the middle of the old part of town where everything was dying. It was very hard to get in and out of. Fifth, another new rent-to-own company had just popped up in the Wal-mart shopping center. It was bigger, flashier, paid better, and had better prices. It also opened two months before we did. Both companies are now gone so I don't guess it matters much. I worked my ass off for them, though. I ended up running my store for a month when the manager defected, before his replacement showed up. I also opened up three other stores for them and trained their store people. They never offered to make me a manager though. It never occured to them, of course they wanted their managers straight out of college and starving. They also liked to relocate them at least 500 miles from home. They thought this gave them a reason to make to stores succeed. I worked for them for about 9 months under 4 different managers.
I went IT and went to work for a bank information processing company. I did a swing shift between second and third shifts. I enjoyed this job and stayed with it 6 years. If the job hadn't changed and the company hadn't changed, I might still be there. This was my first ever job with actual benefits. This was my latest bout with clueless management though.
My worst experience would still have to be the medical technical school I taught basic education courses and computer courses for. I worked there a little over a year. They hired me to teach from 8:00 AM to 5:00 PM with an hour lunch. I was promised many things. Then the managment changed and they started demanding I teach night classes. They also insisted I be on campus the 8 to 5 then teach from 6 to 10 PM if they needed me. For no extra money. I also had to help recruit students. This usually meant open houses and special events at night and on weekends, for no extra money. And heaven forbid if you actually gave a student a bad grade and they complained!!! We were training these people to work in Doctors' offices and hospitals, but some of them couldn't read a complete sentence in English, much less write one. And no, they weren't hispanic. Just Southern people who got government assistance to go to school, so they wouldn't have to live off welfare. Yet, if you demanded they actually learn something, they would complain and management would come down on YOU. Now there were some good students that I really liked, but there were a lot that were just in school because it was paid for and they got free babysitting.
I quit and went to work for a company that made custom bathtubs. That lasted about a month and I was hired by the state. The company had no benefits and I was working 10 hour shifts in an unairconditioned fiberglass plant. I was too old for that shit.
Here I am now. I am rather happy. I now have a second job. I will blog about the new job next round and give you a thrilling, detailed, graphic description of the new job. Sex, violence, and rock and roll up next episode.
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