WOOOHOOO I'm Rich

I checked my personal email this morning just like every morning and there it was, for some reason in the junk mail folder. It seems I won the British Columbian lottery. I was so happy I forgot to read how much I won. It's odd though. I don't live in British Columbia. Hell, I don't live in Canada. I do occasionally talk to a Canadian woman on MSN. Maybe that was enough. I still don't remember entering though. Does British Columbia even have a lottery? Well, it doesn't matter I won. And if that wasn't enough for one morning, some lady I never heard of much less met, is dying from cancer. She became hypertensive when her husband passed away and had a stroke, so her personal care nurse is doing her internet stuff for her. Anyway she has no family and her late husbands family are rat bastards who mistreated him, so she is having her nurse choose random profiles on the internet to give her husbands immense fortune to. So I was chosen to receive 950,000 British pounds. All I have to do is contact her lawyer at one of the 2 rather unprofessional looking email addresses provided and give him some personal information. I'm doing good with stuff with British in it, British Columbia and British pounds. Maybe it's because I caught up on my Doctor Who and Torchwood this winter.

I also have several offers to test (and KEEP) Dell laptops and if I take 10 minutes to complete a survey about Facebook I get my choice of a $200 gift including an ipod touch.

Does anyone really fall for this shit anymore? Someone must or they wouldn't keep sending the stuff out. Really people. If you read the fine print on the free offers they are never free. The surveys are long and eventually you have to complete a certain number of offers that involve either giving out your cell phone or credit card number, which will eventually cost you 3 to 4 times the value of the prize anyway. That's assuming anyone actually gets the laptop or ipod.

And as far as the other scams go, I can't believe anyone falls for them. Are there actually people out there that believe you can win something you never entered? And with all the various news stories on the internet, television and newspapers, does anyone believe dying people give there money to randomly chosen stangers or that thieves in exotic places need to use your personal bank account to hide funds while they transfer them out of one county into another. That's what Cayman Island bank accounts are for. If you get an email that sounds too good to be true, IT FREAKING IS. Do a google search using the subject line or the first line of the email. That's all it takes to find out.

Zombie Attack Part Two

Remember my long rambling disjointed post about my wife's laptop being repaired. Remember how I told you they wiped the damn thing and returned it to factory condition? Well, here is the follow up to the situation.

Since my wife and I no longer live together and she is planning to go to a sunnier warmer, more southern state to look for a job, she was depending on her lappy. Since I would not be easily available for repairs, once the laptop was like she wanted it, I made a backup image of the hard drive. I used Norton Ghost, because I've used it in the past and it was readily available. I ghosted it onto 3 dvds for her and set up a bootable usb stick. I also included a folder with her drivers on the usb stick, just incase she had a driver crap out on her. So when the laptop came back and I gave it to her, she went back to where she is staying and tried to reimage it. It didn't work. She called me and I tried to talk her through it. I finally gave up and told her to bring it to me. She finally did last night, and I couldn't get it to work either. I had no trouble getting it to create the image last August, but it wouldn't find the dvd drive for anything to reverse the process now. I change boot order, I loaded ghost from the USB stick and from DVD, but to no avail. Finally something jarred my memory. I had monkeyed with the boot order earlier, but I had gone no further in the bios. I went back in and sure enough, the setting on the drives was moved to sata. I put in on ide setting and everything came up roses. I reimaged her lappy back to its state in August. Ghost apparently doesn't like the ata drives, it found the hard drive, but not the dvd, even when booted to and loaded from said dvd. Does what ever process the factory service people use automatically reset the bios, or did some tech deliberately go in and reset everything I wonder. Oh well, all's well that ends that way I guess.

Ummm---I Know Where to Hole Up When the Zombies Attack

Last summer (glorious time of year with no wet white cold stuff) my wife acquire a laptop computer. It was an Acer, and seemed to be pretty nice. It came with the operating system from the 8th layer of hell (WinDOHs Vista). She hated Vista with the same passion Sarah Polin feels toward Family Guy and so I replaced it with XP. It was my first encounter with Vista, also the point when I found a) most laptops have SATA hard drives and, b) Widows XP doesnt' come with standard SATA drivers, making installing it a bit of an issue. Fortunately her computer bios let me reset to ide mode for the hard drive. I later discovered a Toshiba laptop that didn't offer that bios option and I had to slipstream SATA drivers into a copy of XP.

Anyway, after hunting down, downloading and installing her drivers and all her favorite programs, the laptop was running like and charm and all was well for about 2 months, then her screen started developing lines. She showed it to me and it looked like a hardware issue. The laptop was under warranty so off it went. I just got the thing back. Now Acer was actually pretty easy to deal with on it. They said the lcd was "bleeding" and it was covered at no cost. Really the only problem I had with it was they reimaged the hard drive back to factory original. Now the repair agreement warns that they may need to do this to fix the problem, but this issue was a faulty lcd screen, not a driver issue of operating system issue. One look made it pretty obvious what was wrong, so why wipe it and start over? I suppose if I griped I would be told they had to diagnose the thing, but truth is it's stupid.

The thing came with a disclaimer claiming that the warranty would be voided if any operating system other than Vista was used. I doubt that would stand up legally, especially with microsoft being looked at for possibly violating anti-trust laws. I can see both sides I guess. I would hate to have to eat the cost of repairing an item is it was damaged by an improper driver being used or something, although basically I would think a driver would either let the component work or it wouldn't work. It might cause the company to spend some time diagnosing the issue, then resolving it, but I would think the compontent wouldn't need to be replaced. But really, if there are drivers available, what should it matter if I run Vista, XP, 7, or some form of linux?

I don't like Vista. Just moving a file from one folder to another was a chore and a half. Microsoft is trying to make an operating system that is stable, secure, and does everything anyone could possibly want and is idiot proof. Why? Let other people worry about browsers, image views, media players, ect. Build the darn operating system and let other developers worry about the rest. If you want to offer the items fine, but don't bundle everything together and cram it down our throats as a package deal that runs slow, crashes a lot, or requires me to confirm what I want to do and give permission 38 times before my computer does it. The little bit I have played with Windows 7 it seems a big improvement and I think I can probably live with it, but at the moment I think I will wait and see. My experience with first, second, or third editions of a new microsoft product is not good. I have a lot of stuff for XP also, so for the next year or so I will stick with XP. I would almost like to switch to Linux, I have tried a couple of different builds on it and like them, but the 2 online games I am hopelessly addicted to don't support it so no can do.

Anyway, I told you that to tell you this. I shipped her lappy off via Fedex air. It was returned Fedex ground. Those aren't the samething, at least not here. I found a door sticker yesterday stating they had tried to deliver and needed a signature. I was supposed to sign it and leave it on the door. The picture of the laptop sitting on my snow covered porch under the dripping icycles waiting for me to get home firmly in mind, I called the number on the tag and convinced them to hold it in the terminal. They first told me holding for pickup was not part of the ground service, but when I explained what it was and why I couldn't be there to receive it, they agreed tand gave me an address. Now I was speaking to a 1-800 number rather than the actual local terminal. I didn't recognise the Ten Tex Road name and asked if it was off Jackson Street, I was told no it was showing as off Brown Mill Road. That wasn't too far from my work so I felt safe.

The next morning I verified it was being held and called work to say I would be a few minutes late. I then drove to Brown Mill Road and went to the end of it without seeing Ten Tex Road. I did see a Fedex Ground sign in front of a semi-deserted warehouse with noone there. I then drove to Jackson Street and discovered that not only were Fedex Air and Fedex Ground not the same (oddly UPS seems to live with one terminal for all their travel elements locally) but apparently mortal enemies. After making some symbols in the air I assume were to ward off evil, (either that or I am now cursed to never ship another package via air) she gave me some very vague directions. I went to work and looked up the address on the mighty mapquest. I printed out the instructions. It looked like I should have taken Brown Mill Road, taken the first left onto Ten Tex. I wondered how the hell I missed that.

So I drove to Brown Mill and the first left was not Ten Tex. I again drove out to the end of the road and again found no road, right or left was called Ten Tex. I returned and took the last right and it wrapped around and came out about 100 yards off 111 from where I entered Brown Mill Road. Remembering the Fedex Air directions, something about moved behind a truck stop, I went to the truck stop. I noticed that the entrance to the truck stop continued across the front and wrapped around the building so I followed it and it became a road. Following this road I encountered a road turning to my right called Ten Tex. This road lead straight to the survialist's armed encampment, I mean the FedEx Ground terminal.

About 2 years ago I had to drive to Charles Bass Correctional Facility for a parole hearing. It was interesting in that Charles Bass was located in an industrial park in Nashville. You are driving along passing warehouses and factories and then suddenly come what looks like any other large factory except for the 8 foot tall chainlink topped by 5 strands of razor wire. FedEx Ground only had 6 foot of chainlink and only three strands of barbed wire, but still I couldn't help the flash back. Fortunately a driver arrived when I did, and he used his id card and passcode to get us in and he tracked down an employee for me, as apparently the huge building only held one. The turnstile you use to get in and out looked like either a medevil torture device or some futuristic transport terminal. Heavy steel with the key pad and card reader locking it, you feel like you are caught in a giant gear about to be crushed. It was kind of cool. You could probably like hold off an army of zombies from inside it, provided there was enough food in the break room vending machines to sustain you.

Famous??!!!!????

Fame is a weird thing. I mean of course, that I don't understand it. I understand of course, someone being famous for accomplishing something, being talented or successful at something, or having a special ability. I can even understand being famous for being unusual or special for some reason. I can understand being famous for having 12 toes, 2 noses, hitting more homeruns or making more touchdowns during a professional ballgame or season. I can understand being famous for playing classical piano symphanies flawlessly with your toes, or singing beautifully. I can understand being famous for being an accomplished actor, director, businessman, musician, athlete, serial killer, ect. What I don't understand is becoming famous for being famous or being famous for being the 21st century version of a circus geek.

Let's look at some recent celebrities. Paris Hilton is the person usually trotted out when this topic comes up. I think it's time to give her a break though. Paris is a HILTON. She comes from an extremely wealthy family, so someone there deserves the distinction of being successful at business. That person could be long dead, but at least someone hasn't blown the whole family business, so some brain cells must still be in the gene pool. Paris isn't only famous for being rich and spoiled, although admittedly that's part of it. Paris has a sister named Nikki, (I think, can't be bothered to look it up, I might lose my rant which is very painful.) This sister somehow is less famous than Paris despite being somewhat healthier and less angular-looking. Both are rich, blond, thin, yet one is much more well-known. Why? Probably the sleeze factor. Paris has built up a reputation based on alcohol, drugs and digitally recorded sex. She says stupid things and seems to be a total space cadet. She is often photographed wearing very little, proving she apparently doesn't actually consume food. She is the poster child for bimbos and sluts everywhere. She had a best friend named Nicole Richie who helped her get a tv show. Nicole was famous for a)hanging out with Paris, and b)being the daughter or Lionel Richie former member of the Commadores and successful 80's pop star. I am probably one of the few people who remember Mr. "Dancing on the Ceiling" so mostly she was famous for being Paris's BF30seconds. Nicole was shorter, less blond, at least 30% less slutty, and in my opinion a bit more attractive than Paris, so when the relationship crashed, she disappeared.

Apparently there wasn't enough Paris to go around, so we also have something called a Kardashian. Apparently this is another wealthy beyond belief family that is either well stocked with several similar daughters, or there is one daughter that can change her height and name at will. The version seen most often seems to be named Kim. Imagine a slightly less vocal, more volumptious, brunette Paris, with less pinched features and you have Kim. Kim even has her own sex video where apparently a rap star pees on her.

But those aren't the people I wonder about. I am wondering more about the women who calls herself Tia Tequilla. She somehow managed to use a myspace profile to get herself on television. Basically she is famous for being on the internet. I am on the internet, but nobody gives me money. Basically this person has parlayed a slutty image and a social network profile into a career doing virtually nothing. She has tried modeling, singing, acting. I have yet to see proof of actual talent. This reminds me of the kid in school who would do anything on a dare or for money. "Eat that worm? No problem." "Take off my top and kiss that other slutty looking chick? No problem."

Now I have no problem with attractive, or even semi-attractive, women appearing in various stages of nudity. As a matter of fact, I generally enjoy it, but they need to stay on porn sites, men's magazines, entertainment mags, porn dvds, ect. Stop clogging up news venues and making guest appearances on tv shows and doing bit parts in movies. Better get all the money you can quick, because partying, drinking, drugging and acting batshit crazy like you are, by the time you hit 30 you'll look a rode-hard-and-put-up-wet 60 and be acting full-blown psycho and no one will want that top to come off.

I Broke a Tradition This Year

Yes, I broke a long-running personal tradition this year. I accidentally did it, but it still counts. Now I have to start over. You see, I accidentally discovered who was playing in the superbowl the day before the bowl rather than my normal method of discovering it the day after when I also find out who won. As you can tell, the superbowl plays an important role in my life. Sorry, I know it is important to a lot of people, and they derive a lot of enjoyment out of anticipating, arguing and watching, but I don't get it. Professional organized team sports don't make any sense to me. At least with individual sports you have an element of personal skill and challenge, but even then I wonder. I mean basically we are making it possible to pay people more money per year than most of us will make in a lifetime, to play a kid's game. Professional football, basketball, and baseball players who are in high demand can easily be paid millions of dollars a year. Even the less in demand make hundreds of thousands, and that isn't including product endorsements, personal appearances, interviews, ect where they can easily earn 2 to 3 times as much as their salary.

I don't understand it. It's like actors and entertainers, we pay these people so we can watch them play a game or pretend to be something they aren't. We pay more to be entertained than we do for services that directly impact us. Someone tried to justify the high salaries of sports stars by telling me that they had such a short career. Career? They are playing a GAME. By definition a game is leisure, while a career is work. What is the difference between paying someone to play football and paying them to play hopstotch, red rover, old maid, chutes and ladders, or scrabble? Give me a $100,000 a year and I will happily play chutes and ladders or checkers for a couple of hours once a week. And I will retire in 10 to 12 years if you want me to.

Physical games were original done as a way to insure warriors stayed in good condition and helped them to practice some of the skills needed to fight during peace time while at the same time burning off some of the aggression warriors tend to naturally have. Later these games were encouraged at school because they resulted in kids getting excercise, learning things like teamwork, good sportmanship, how to win or lose gracefully, while burning up enough of their youthful energy that they might actually be dealt with in a classroom.

I know now that I am getting old. How do I know? I now suffer from that most heinous of ailments that strike the elderly, nostalgia. I currently have no television, cable isn't available in my area, and I decided that Dish network is the great Satan of our times. I can get direct tv or even digital cable through my telephone company, who is actually cheaper than the local cable or either satellite tv provider, but at the moment I don't want the extra bill. Besides, my 32 inch television in the living room was struck by lightning. I have a 20 inch in storage, and another big one in the bedroom, but restling that monster down solo seems like a bunch of work, so basically it is collecting dust now. I miss the background noise, but as far as tv shows go, almost everything is available via internet now, and you can watch pretty much when ever you want. Anyway, I recently discovered Hulu has a bunch of old shows I remember from way back when. I went through both seasons of Dead Like Me, last week. Then recently I found News Radio. They have a lot of the first 4 season episodes, but not all of them. They don't seem to have any of the last season though. I used to love that show. It holds up reasonable wel,l in my opinion, although it is over 10 years old. If you haven't seen the show, you might want to cruise over and check it out.

In general, it is a 30 minute character driven sitcom about a group of odd individuals who work together in an AM news radio station located in New York City. It was released in 1995 and had a 5 season run. The show starts with the hiring of a young, midwestern man as the news director. The first season deals with his learning how to deal with the oddballs he has to work with.

Dave Foley played the news director Dave Nelson. I don't remember seeing Foley in much after this. I think he was with the Kids in the Hall comedy troop. Looking on IMDB though, he has lots of credits. He generally played the straight, sane character, although he had a lot of good sarcastic lines. A lot of humor was made about his small stature and youthful experience as well as some of his geeky hobbies: ventriloquism, tap dance, knife throwing.

Stephen Root played Jimmy James the wealthy station owner. This show made me a fan of this man. He has extensive credits for both acting and voice acting. He has been on True Blood, West Wing, Pushing Daisies, done voice work for Ice Age, Tripping the Rift, King of the Hill and been in a ton of movies. His over-the-top, not exactly ethical, micro managing owner was great on the show.

Andy Dick played Matthew the clumsy, weird reporter. I am not a big fan of his, but mostly because of post-News Radio happenings. I thought he was decent in the show, but with the relatively large cast, you only got him in small doses.

Maura Tierney, ER and Rescue Me, played Lisa, Dave's love interest, reporter who became a producer, news director, than back to reporter. She played a high-strung, intelligent, driven woman, a strong although neurotic character and was a good foil for Dave.

Vicki Lewis played the weird, red-headed secretary Beth, who's main job seemed to be spending company money on herself and feeding Dave's massive coffee habit. She was mostly known for being a bit man crazy, adventurous, and wearing weird and generally inappropriate outfits. In season three she suddenly started baring her mid-drift almost every episode. Not that anyone should mind, as a) by todays standards she was dressed for church and b) you could play a Led Zepplin drum solo on those abs. Vicki was a great character and her interaction and attempts to get out of doing any actual work were awe inspiring.

Joe Rogan, Host of Fear Factor, played Joe Garelli, the station electricion/tough guy/street wise character. He invented most of his equipment, engineered most of his repairs, and occasionally exhibited knowledge that seemed highly out of place. He probably got the least screen time, but made the most of it. His character is quiet memorable.

Phil Hartman, Saturday Night Live, Troy McClure on the Simpsons, played Bill McNeal the self-centered, arrogant on-air personality. His character was annoying, brash, egotistical, arrogant, every horrible personality trait you could think of, he displayed, yet Hartman did it with such charm you never loathed Bill. His clashes with the other characters were awesome. Hartman's murder probably killed the show, as the ratings really dropped after his character died on the show. The show where Dave allows Bill to air imaginary interviews with President Clinton, is a classic.

Khandi Alexander, CSI Miami, was the other on-air personality for the first 4 seasons. She left the station for another job. Why she actually left the show is not known. There is some speculation that another character slated to be a regular on the show may have caused a conflict, but that character departed before Khandi's Catherine Duke, left. Catherine was a strong character, confidents, intelligent, beautiful and more than enough to deal with Bill and Joe her usual foils.

These were the regular characters.

Jon Lovitz, Saturday Night Live, The Critic, was a good friend of Phil Hartman, and he did a couple of guest appearances on News Radio before coming on in the last season as Max, a replacement for Bill.

Lauren Graham, Gilmore Girls, played Andrea and efficiency expert hired by Jimmy James, who turns the station on its head by firing Matthew, demoting Dave and making Lisa news director. Rumor is she was supposed to remain on the show, but she was actually only on 4 episodes before disappearing. I don't remember it ever explaining why.

There were numerous guest stars, Scott Adams appeared once as did Jerry Seinfield. Friends of Dave Foley and Phil Hartman made appearances. Rock video vixen and model Bobbi Brown (Cherry Pie) appeared twice as Matthews girl friend.

This was a great show and when it stopped airing in 1999 I was sad. I was really happy to become reacquainted with it on Hulu.

Dead Like Me also aged well. Can't wait to see what else I find on there.