I Think My Brain Melted

Okay, this was the third time I had been to court in this particular county, although not on this same case. As a matter of fact, I hadn't been in this courtroom in around 3 years. I went straight from my house to the court, the office is about 7 miles in the wrong direction, so I generously decided to save the state the extra 14 miles they would have had to pay me for, not to mention the extra hour of time. I will probably regret this somehow, as I usually regret doing anything at work that seems to make common sense. I remember once I was doing home visits on my caseload. My last visit was closer to my house than the office and it was time to quit, so I stopped my mileage there and drove home. When I submitted it, the finance department wouldn't pay it unless I subtracted 7 miles from it. That was the distance from my home to the office. I tried to explain that not only had I not returned to the office, but I had stopped my mileage at the last stop. They would have nothing but me remove 7 miles from that one claim. I did so. The stupid thing was I was at least 12 miles from the office and it would have cost them more had I returned. Since that time, though, I have always returned to the office and stopped my mileage, even if it is pasted quitting time and out of my way. If they want it that way, that's what I will do. Of course, I also added 1 mile to the next 7 items on my next claim, I felt that I was owed that money. I had in good faith attempted to be efficient and cost effective and they punished me for it. In attempting to nitpick and save the state money, they cost the state money because now they pay me to return to the office when, occasionally I would go home and not charge them from the last stop.

The average temperature here, in the shade if you can find any, is about 5000 degrees Fahrenheit. I left early as I had not been to the courthouse in some time and was navigating from ancient memory. Navigation is not my strong point, I generally find places by getting lost and stumbling over them by accident. It was more or less where I remembered it, though and I tripped over it around 8:10 am. The air conditioning in my car is the basic roll down as many windows as possible and go real fast variety, so while I was in tie, I left the sports jacket off until I got there. I should have known it would be a bad day when I noticed, as I climbed the stairs to the court clerk's office, that people in business casual clothes were cursing and thumping on the thermostats. Never, ever take an elevator in a building less than 6 stories in a small town in Tennessee, just don't. I confirmed my client was on the docket, confirmed court start time, heard a rumor the a/c wasn't working very well, then went in search of a restroom(successful) and water fountain or drink machine (unsuccessful).

I then went into the court room, which apparently functions as the third floor janitor closet when court isn't in session. Seriously, I've been to counties so poor and tiny they don't have indoor bathrooms in the courthouse, but that is the smallest courtroom I have ever seen. Now, don't get me wrong, it is an older courthouse, and rather unimpressive on the outside, but inside it is attractive, in great shape and well-maintained, but honestly the court room is designed ass-backward. In most court rooms the jury box is so crowded, that unless you are setting in an end seat, you are intimately acquainted with, and possibly engaged to, the people on each side of you. In this court room, you could set up a flea market booth and run it from your seat in the jury box. You could play handball in the space between the Bench and the attorney tables, but there were only 6 benches for the witnesses/spectators, non-incarcerated participants. These benches were in two sets of 3. This is about a third of what other similar size counties offer and those are usually full. This is important to this story for a few reasons. First, the a/c was a no show and I am in tie and jacket. I sweat like a 200 year old stick of dynamite on a good day. Next, apparently three quarters of the county had, a few months ago, all sold 1 Oxycontin pill each to an undercover detective. Interestingly, most of those people had done so for $50, however a few seem to have made the sale for $60. Those must have been the people who were professional salesmen in their non-criminal mastermind roles. Meanwhile the other quarter of the county were either burglarizing their drug salesmen neighbor's homes, driving while intoxicated, or touching their daughters in a very inappropriate manner. These people had all been previously arraigned and were there for their shuffle to a later date court appearance.

Now I took a seat about 8:20 AM. By 9:00 AM the 60 or so people who could squeeze into the courtroom were in place. The judge showed up about 9:30 AM, court actually started around 10:00. Interestingly the spaces to either side of me stayed empty up until court started when two little grey-haired lady drug pushers finally sat beside me. I am not sure whether it was the large-white-guy-with-a-shaved-head syndrome, or the strange-white-man-with-a-shaved-head-in-a-suit-carrying-an-official-looking-file syndrome. I mean obviously I could have been a TBI agent, lawyer, mafia hit-man, ect. The only people there who knew who I was were the judge, community corrections officer, and the state probation officer for that county. The remaining 2000-3000 people crowded into the outside hallway. Obviously calling the docket would be a waste of time. The docket, by the way, was 32 pages long. You could have knocked me over with a feather. I would think even a major crime wave in that county would result in a 20 page docket at the most.

I came to a conclusion during my uncomfortable wait for my hearing, which came around 2:00 PM. My high school principal, in a display of his awesome class, used to lecture everyone who came to the graduation ceremonies. He would insult the parents and family of the participating students by telling everyone that some people only appeared in public for graduations and mud wrestling and had no idea how to behave. At the time, I thought he was just an asshole. Later, I realized he was a short-sighted asshole who had never visited the county fair. Now I realize he was a major prick who never attended a county fair or visited a court room while court was in session, because those same mud-wrestling fans were obviously present at both places.

I watched the crowd and listened to the people around me. I tend to do that, it is amazing what you can learn by being quiet. I was sitting in the midst of a group of people involved in the previously mentioned drug case. There was also one burglar and his wife/girlfriend, behind me. I heard them griping and talking. Interestingly, when the guy up for fondling his daughter pled guilty everyone got really quiet and I heard a bunch of drug dealers and thieves muttering under their breath. Fortunately, the judge sent him to prison, otherwise he might not have made it out of the courthouse. I have mentioned in other posts that most of the people in court seem to have lost the concept of respect and the need to dress appropriately for a court appearance. I realize that, on the whole, society has gotten more casual and also that in this poor, depressed area people probably don't own suits or even ties and jackets, but if I was coming in front of the man who would shortly decide my entire future, I think I would come up with something nicer than my best wife beater and plaid knee-length shorts. One woman did wear a dress, true it would be more appropriate for the drunken barn dance than court, but she did try. There was this young couple that insisted on loving on each other in court. Now I have nothing against sitting close or hand holding, but fondling and lap dances seem a bit much.

Anyway, that killed my day. I made the mistake of leaving the slightly-cooler-inside-than-out building in search of liquid refreshment on the lunch break. I think my badge melted. When I finally made it home I drank a five-gallon bucket of water and sat in the freezer for an hour, but still feel hot and dehydrated.

Gamera is really neat, Garmera is full of meat

I don't feel good today, and I am not sure why. I woke yesterday with a killer headache. I actually went back to sleep trying to get rid of it, but after I woke again, it was still there. I thought maybe it was falling off the wagon, not the alcohol one but the salt and sugar one. After about 2 months of trying my damnedest to avoid as much salt and sugar as possible and restricting my eating out to no more than twice a week, I screwed up. I ate 4 meals out in 2 days and really didn't stick to subway or salads. Then I let my mother send food over. She means well, and she and Dad need to be avoiding salt as much as I. They also have cholesterol issues and Mom needs to lose weight as much or more than I. Yet Mom seems to think sugar doesn't cause problems if you ignore that you are eating it. She also seems to think corn syrup and honey don't count as sugar. I tried to explain that corn syrup is just cheap sugar and that while honey has a lower glucose index and may not effect you insulin levels, it still has calories, but she don't seem to get it.

Anyway the result is a higher input of calories, sugar and salt than I should have had. Basically in the last 6 days I undid most, if not all of my good intentions. I slowly got out of bed and very slowly went to the kitchen where I got a diet soda and slowly went to the living room where I sat and consumed the soda. I moved the track ball slowly and read a few quiet web pages while letting my head absorb diet Pepsi. I soon found that as long as my head remained still I was okay. I could move my hands, arms or eyes, but not my head, not even to stand. Eventually I decided to endure the sensation of my eyes exploding to attempt to make breakfast. I scrambled some eggs with a little turkey ham, onions, and queso fresco cheese. I also ate a piece of whole grain toast with butter.

Then I tossed 3 ibuprofen tabs with my morning meds. I felt better in about 30 minutes, and the headache was gone until about 9:30 PM. When I woke this morning it was back, although not really. I didn't have the pain, but sort of the the pre-pain warning, the sense of approaching doom. I decided on a pro-active (don't you hate that phony word?) approach and took 2 of the ibuprofen tabs before leaving for work. I felt okay until about 2:00 this afternoon when I started just feeling off. Then about an hour later I felt the headache coming on. Now I feel like maybe I have a bit of fever.

There wasn't a lot to do this weekend. The movies that came out this week weren't anything I wanted to see all sparkly vampires and M. Night not-made-a-good-movie-in-forever. Last weeks weren't anything to brag about either. Television stunk up the place too so I ended up having a google steaming media marathon of MST3K out of desperation. Joel, Mike and the bots helped me out and I am always happy to revisit the SOL. The only downside is now I have that damn Gamera song stuck in my head. Maybe that's why it hurts.